Brian quotes from The Sarah Silverman Program.

Brian

Fat free Nifty chips, toilet paper and diarrhea medicine, it's like isle 1b is a museum of my day.

Brian

[eating cotton candy] Mmm, I love having dinner for breakfast.

Brian

You called earlier?

Sarah

Yeah, I want you to come over and do some queer stuff to my daughter.

Brian

Excuse me?

Sarah

Ya know, I mean she needs a whole makeover. I need you guys to come over and do a whole montage on her. Maker her look fabulous and stuff.

Brian

Sarah, being gay doesn't make you genetically able to do makeovers. Besides, do Steve and I seem at all fashionable to you?

Sarah

No! You guys look horrible! I thought it was just like…ya know the shoemakers son has bare feet kinda thing.

So, Natalie, I was really, really sorry to hear about your dad.

Sarah

What happened?

My dad was just diagnosed with liver cancer.

Sarah

Oh my God, that's so bizarre. You guys, my remote needs batteries. Everybody be careful, these things happen in threes.

Brian

Why don't you just go to Fan-Tasti-Mart and buy new batteries?

Sarah

Why doesn't Natalie just go to Fantasta-Mart and buy her father alive again, Brian?

He's alive, he's just sick.

Sarah

Natalie, please!

Brian

What are you guys talking about?

Laura

The anti-discrimination bill...for gay people.

Sarah

Yeah, so like now if someone tries to light you on fire or chop off your penis or something, they go to jail, instead of like getting a trophy. I think it's good.

Sarah

Brian, your name is brain if you switch the two middle letters.

Brian

I know, I've been high before.

Sarah

These are words we all say every single day. Squeak a Henry. Talk to the hand. Chillax. Ozay. What's that? You've never heard of "ozay"? Huh. Maybe it's because I just made it up. Congratulations everybody. You are witness to history in the making today. Because "ozay" is going to be greatest thing since saying "the greatest thing since sliced bread". She said that to you? Ozay! How much did that cost? O-zay! The waitress forgot to bring your bacon? Ozay!

Brian

I have a new word, too. "Dotnose".

Laura

What does that mean?

Brian

Oh, you know, it's when something's super obvious. It's just dotnose.

Laura

I don't un— [notices dot on Steve's nose] oh, oh, like when something's written all over your face, it's a total dotnose situation.

That's the stupidest thing I ever heard.

Brian

Careful, Steve, you're being a real dotnose.