Clyde Langer quotes from The Sarah Jane Adventures

Luke

Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. Johnny Depp has it.

Clyde

What encyclopaedia did you learn that from, then?

Luke

Heat.

Luke

He's a bit milky, isn't he?

Clyde

'Cheesy'! For the hundredth time, the word is 'cheesy'!

Sarah Jane

Of course! He must be using a bio-damper!

Clyde

What's that, a washing powder?

Clyde

What was it? What's so special about me?

Sarah Jane

Oh, so many things.

Martin

How have you done this?

Luke

I wasn't born. I have no birthday.

Clyde

No star sign.

Luke

So astrology doesn't work on me. The circle was like an electrical circuit. I broke it.

Rani

Like you did before, you touched Clyde. It shorted the power!

Martin

What are you?

Sarah Jane

He's my son, and he's the centre of my universe.

Clyde

It's not a sleepover.

Luke

I don't understand.

Clyde

We're not girls! It's not a sleepover, you're just staying the weekend!

Luke

And I'll be sleeping over at yours! Therefore it's a sleepover!

Clyde

I never know if you're being serious or not.

What the hell are you doing here? Don't you care about Clyde at all?

Yeah, that's why I'm back!

Clyde

'Cause you care about me? Y'know, when you left, at first I pretended it hadn't happened. That you'd just gone on holiday. And then I realised, no, you'd gone. Do you know what I did? I blamed Mum. I figured she must have done something really bad to drive you away. I messed about at school, got into trouble. I got expelled.

Paul

[insincerely] Yeah alright I'm sorry mate.

Clyde

You're... sorry? Dad, one minute you were there, and the next, I had no Dad.

Clyde

If it wasn't for me, all these people, they wouldn't be here! I've saved them loads of times and they don't know!

Paul

OK... is this some sort of trading card thing?

Clyde

Don't you believe me?

Paul

No, no, I'm not saying that. It's just you and this Luke, the two of you, saving the world.

Clyde

You don't know what we've seen! Slitheen, Sontarans, we've stopped them, all of them.

Paul

You and Luke?

Clyde

You don't believe me, do you? Fine, I'll prove it to you!

Clyde

Hey hey, Maria! This friend of Sarah Jane has given her this holographic postcard whatsit thing so...

Luke

[pops into video] Hi Maria! We miss you!

Clyde

Soft boy. We don't miss you! We've moved on! You're gone and forgotten! "Maria who?", I say!

Clyde

This is Mr Chandra, he's my Headteacher.

Paul

Oh! Alright mate? Clyde hasn't stopped raving about you and your school, he loves it there.

[looks at Clyde disbelievingly] Does he?!

Paul

Haha, I'm joking!

Can I ask what you're doing here?

Clyde

Er, we're watering the, er, plants. Yeah, Sarah Jane asked me to water the plants while she's away.

That's interesting because apparently she asked Rani to do that as well.

Clyde

Err, there's... lots of... plants?

Rani

We could go through there, into another time. Might never get the chance again.

Clyde

Can't we just have a look? Five minutes?

Sarah Jane

No! I'm sorry Clyde, but it's too dangerous. You've seen it in the movies - you go back, you change one tiny thing, and there's terrible consequences.

Rani

But you've travelled through time in the TARDIS.

Sarah Jane

With the Doctor, who knew what he was doing... most of the time.

Rani

Something happened when she went back in time.

Clyde

And it's up to you, my young Padawan, [taps Luke on the cheek] to find out the whole story.

Clyde

I'll be off home then. Huh, today I've been to an alternative timeline and now I'm saying "I'll be off home then".

Sarah Jane

That's the life we lead. Sometimes it brings you such joy and sometimes it brings you the worst things in the world.

Clyde Langer

13 Bannerman Road is Sarah Jane Smith lives. And it's home to things way beyond your imagination. There's an extra-terrestrrial super computer in the wall, a genetically engineered boy genius in the attic. A schoolgirl investigator across the road. And a whole universe of adventure right here on the doorstep.

Sarah Jane

-Ready

Clyde Langer

-Always

Sarah Jane

What are you all doing here!

Clyde

We have a test coming up-

Rani

And Luke's helping us revise.

Sarah Jane

Why is Mr Smith still on?

Mr Smith

Sarah Jane's car is now outside the house.

Clyde

Big Mouth! You did that on purpose.

Sarah Jane

K-9 What's going on here?

I have been told to withhold information.

Sarah Jane

What exactly was that information?

I was told by Mistress Rani to not tell you that you were being followed.

Rani

The gob on you!