Pam and Jim in “The Delivery”

I'm having contractions, but they're irregular and far apart. So I'm not really in labor, I'm near labor.

Yeah, we're slow-playing it because of our stupid HMO.

If we check in after midnight, I get an extra day to recuperate surrounded by doctors.

Not to mention the extra night's sleep in the hospital will be very nice because once we bring the baby home, if it's crying all night, one of us is going to have to take care of it. And I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.

I cannot wait for that joke to be over.