Stupid gravity!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
MMilo
[as he and his friends are rolling away] Kiss my butt goodbye! [The ball rolls back to where it started] Um, I'm sorry about that "butt" crack. Buttcrack! I'm on a roll! Get it roll? Um... I'll return the locket now.
[Milo squeezes Helga to get the locket off; the locket snaps off Helga's neck and flies into the sewer]
My locket! It went down the sewers where all the smelly stuff is! [starts crying]
[stuck in a sewer pipe] Hello? Is anyone there? I think there's rats in my butt.
[stuck in the sewer and surrounded by food] Hey guys! Want some Egg Foo Yung?
Helga, you're supposed to be losing weight!
It's not my fault. All this stuff just fell down here. So I'm not Kate Moss. Big deal.
MMilo
Kate Moss isn't stuck in a sewer.
Oh, I don't know. When you think about it, isn't there no bigger sewer than the world of professional modeling?
[Mikey is swinging at a beehive as if it was a piñata]
Come on, Mikey, get those hips into it! Whoo!
Sweetie, the-- a wasp's nest...isn't really a proper piñata.
Bob, I'm entertaining on a budget here.
[being stung by wasps] The candy's stinging me!
[seeing the American flag] Look! The Ralph Lauren flag!
[singing; bringing in cake] Happy whatever to whoever, happy whatever to whoever! Mazel Tov!
MMilo
[tastes the frosting; lurches back in disgust] This cake tastes weird...
Well, we didn't have any chocolate icing, so I used deviled ham instead. Enjoy!
Make a wish!
MMilo
I wish I was dead...
Milo, if you say it out loud, it won't come true.
[Mayor is calling Helga, who is stuck in the sewer]
MMayor
[to the crowd] The fat girl's stuck in a pipe...
[Nobody reacts]
MMayor
...and so is the locket.
[Everybody gasps]:
PPriest
Why do bad things happen to good jewelry?! [falls to the ground sobbing]
MBMayor Bledso
Here you go sweetie, this one's from daddy, and I dare any of you little candy asses to come up with a better gift!
[squeals] Oh daddy, a locket! Give us a kiss!
MBMayor Bledso
Ain't got time for kissin'.
K!
MMilo
Mom, we've got to get Helga out of the sewer! She's not losing weight! She'll have to live down there and get married down there and have kids down there, then her kids will marry each other and have more kids and they'll be hillbillies in the sewer and the banjo playing will drive us insane!
Finally, someone's making sense!
[Police show up and take over the Oblongs' bathroom]
Sheriff, with all due respect, you can't just show up and commandeer our toilet.
SSheriff
Sorry, law of eminent domain. [pinches Pickles' butt]
Hey!
SSheriff
Eminent domain.
RReporter
Tune in at eleven, when we'll be talking to the next door neighbor of the man who made the velvet box the locket came in.
[The reporters and crowd immediately leave]
Hm. I'm...sure they'll be back.
Yeah, right.
What about me? You gotta get me out of here!
CWConstruction Worker
We know what we're doing, sir.
I'm not a sir! I'm a beautiful little girl.
CWConstruction Worker
He's obviously in shock. Let's get out of here.
MMilo
Helga! We've gotta do something, or she's gonna drown!
On the bright side, you've already got the bloating part over with.
[angrily] Thanks. I feel MUCH better.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Oblongs pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.