[It is December 22. Poison Ivy is sitting outside the apartment window. She overhears Harley Quinn talking inside the bedroom.]
I'm depressed, Red. Here it is, holiday time, and we're hiding out in this dingy rat-trap. No presents, no fun, no nothing. Can't we at least get a Christmas Tree?
[slams the window angrily] What?! And support the mad campaign of botanical genocide that grips this country every December?!
[falls on the bed with a yelp] But Christmas trees are so bright and fun and pretty! Oh, please, please- please-- [Ivy hits her with a pillow in the face]
Calm down, Harls. I've got a little plan that will make this the happiest Christmas ever.
Season's greetings, Brucie. Your two favourite party girls are out for some Christmas fun.
[She and Harley pull Bruce into his limo]
Ivy zapped you with her special lipstick back at the party!
Now we've got Gotham's handsomest, wealthiest bachelor to treat us to a holiday shopping spree!
[excitedly] Whoopee! Race you to the shoe department, Red!
[carrying a pile of presents] I've had... just about enough of this...!
I think the stuff is wearing off.
Can't have that. Give him another shot. [passes Harley her lipstick]
[applies it] Right-a-rooney! Gimme some sugar, baby!
[acting afraid] No! Not again! [backs away and and falls down the elevator shaft]
OMIGOD, OMIGOD, OMIGOD! We... We killed him... [shrugs] Oh, well.
We were going to do it anyway.
We got his credit cards, what's to worry?
I'll bet you've been a good little Batboy this year. Unfortunately, Harley and I are still on the naughty list.
Come on up and get your presents!
[Batman climbs up the sculpture towards them, but Ivy takes him by surprise at the top]
Merry Christmas, darling! [hits him with a punching glove, knocking him halfway back down]
And Happy New Year, CHUMP! [whacks him with her mallet, sending him falling into a pile of presents]
Aw, gee, Harley. You broke our new toy. [she and Harley start to leave the mall]
[dancing happily] Bye-bye, Batsy!
[Batman topples a giant Christmas tree with his grapple-gun, pinning them both down]
Well, here's you're stupid tree! You happy?!
Yeah... [a bauble falls on her head]
B Boy
You're not the real Santa Claus!
(Dressed as Santa) Sure I am! Wanna see my gun?
[Montoya slaps him upside the head.]
MM Mary McSweeney
My name is Mary McSweeney, Santa. Can you bring my dad home for Christmas?
Gee, I don't know. Where is your dad?
MM Mary McSweeney
In prison.
Whoa! Your dad is Mad Dog... uh, Mike McSweeney?
[Mary nods]
[aside, to Montoya] Poor kid. I sent her old man up the river three months ago. [to Mary] Uh, look, kid, I'd like to help you, but it's like this... [sighs] What I'm trying to say is, some wishes even Santa can't make come true. [gives Mary money] Ah, here, get yourself something nice for the holidays.
MM Mary McSweeney
[hugs him] Thank you, Santa! Would it be okay if I bought something for my dad, too?
As long as it ain't a hacksaw, why not?
Don't waste your ammo on him, shoot the Santa.
[looks at Montoya] You wouldn't...?
RM Renee Montoya
Not you, dope! [points at Santa statue] That Santa!
Hi-ho, couch potatoes! I'm interrupting the Toilet Bowl to give you my very special New Year's resolution. [clears throat] Starting tonight at midnight, I, your loving Uncle Joker, do solemnly vow not to kill anyone for a whole year... which means I'm going to have to work extra fast to bump off a few more of you today! [laughs]
He stole something from me.
If you knew how many times I've dreamed about this place.
[Tim picks up a small black ball from an arsenal. ]
Please, Master Timothy! Not the explosives.
Sorry. Geez. I don't believe it.
[Tim walks over to a glass case containing the Robin suit.]
It's the real Robin suit, isn't it? Whatever happened to him?
[Tim eyes a trophy case with pictures, trophies and awards given to Bruce Wayne]
Sorry you had to see that.
I called Batgirl right after you arrived, sir. Though apparently, not soon enough.
So what? I know how to keep a secret. You can trust me, honest.
[Batgirl lifts his sweater, allowing a stolen watch and pile of dollar bills to fall out]
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The New Batman Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
