The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh · Season 2
Help! We're sinking! Abandon ship! Tiggers and tiggers first!
But what about piglets?
Uh, Piglets? Why... it's their duty as captains to go down with their ships.
Oh dear. Are you sure?
Absotutely posilutely.
Then my last command as, as captain is uh... Tigger, you're captain.
And as captain of this ship, I hereby proclaim you captain.
No, you are.
You are.
The treasure! We found it! And it's exacticly what I always dreamed of... My very own X!
The treasure's under the X, Tigger. You have to dig it up!
Surprise!
Surprise! Exactly whom are we surprising?
Why you, Pooh. It's your surprise going away party. See?
I am surprised. Why I didn't even know I was going away.
Didn't you read the signs? "Goodbye." "So long." "We'll m-m-miss you."
Pooh, we even have going away presents for you.
A jar of honey! It's just what I always wanted, Piglet. How did you know?
Here you go, buddy bear!
Oh thank you, Tigger! Oh thank you, Eeyore!
It's something sweet, sticky and golden.
So Rabbit. What present do you have for me?
Well uh... uh... Look! A Jagular!
I don't see no Jagular.
Well it was there yesterday.
Ooh! That was a close call.
Here you go, Pooh. Happy going away.
Thank you everyone. This is the best going away party I've ever had. Actually it's the only going away party I've ever had.
[mixing ingredients for an unusual bubble recipe] Better add a little more glue, and a lot more honey. And a little more of this and a dash of that and a few of these and one of those, a pinch of them and [laughs] ah, that ought to do it.
[Everyone thinks Piglet transformed into a melted snowman; Tigger steps in the puddle]
Tigger! You're stepping in Piglet!
Now for a little peace and quiet and gardening. Where did I leave my shovel? Oh yes. It's right outside the [realizes] door?! Aah! The door! I forgot to make a door! I can't get out! I'm trapped! Doomed!
Of course, you have to be careful with dynamite. Can't use too much. Just a little keg will do you.
Only one keg?
Oh dear.
Uh oh.
Stand clear! [the entire fortress blows up] You too, Rabbit.
Do you think perhaps we should have told Gopher that we each used one keg, too?
Say, it's the middle of broad daylight! Even a not-so-scary story has to happen at night, you know!
Oh but this one happens in the daytime!
Night!
Day!
Night!
Day!
Morning!
Evening! [realizes what just happened] Oh dear...
[hearing Piglet's singing] Say! What's that?
Sounds like a heffalump with a bad head cold.
Nah! It's the mating call of the yellow bellied double parked sapsucker.
I promise I shall never ever lose you anymore. [peers into shower, but Piglet is gone] Piglet? Piglet! Oh, I've done it again!
[Everyone but Rabbit has been jailed by Tigger]
Let's go, Tigger. Oh dear dear dear. It's too bad I wasn't able to stop Pooh bear earlier. None of this would've happened in the first place- [Tigger winks at the audience] No! Wait Tigger! I didn't mean-!
[Rabbit is now in jail]
[attaching Eeyore's tail to a scary balloon] There, my bully bamboozler is all finished.
Don't move, false face! We caught you pink handed!
Caught me? Caught me doing what?
Caught you looking like this poster, of course.
[Everyone is telling the story of the Three Little Pigs]
Never fear citizens! It is I, the Masked Offender to the rescue!
No no no! You don't belong here.
Whoops. [disappears]
There is no Masked Offender in this story.
Pooh, just why does the big bad bunny want to get into the house?
I believe he wants to borrow some... honey. No. Not that. He, he wants uh...
To get out of the rain. [a storm cloud appears over Rabbit]
That's it! No more! This has gone far enough! Big bad bunnies, Papa Bears? It's too much! I'm taking over! [stuffs cloud into picnic basket] I'm going to tell this story the way it's supposed to be told! Ahem. I'm going to huff and puff and blow your tree down!
Oh, d-d-dear!
[Honey erupts onto Rabbit from the basket]
And the three little piglets, who had all the honey they wanted, lived happily ever after. The end.
Oh, I love happy endings, Pooh. But what happened to the big bad bunny?
[drenched in honey] Don't ask, Piglet. Don't ask.
Show us how fast you can run to that tree and back. one for the honey, two for the road, 3 to get ready, and off you go! [gasp] Why, that was so fast I didn't even see you go!
For the last time, you're not going to catch anything in that ridiculous trap because there is no such thing as a grab-me gotcha. [Pooh and Piglet fall in Tigger's trap] Help! Don't let it grab me! I surrender!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
