Do I sound like I'm coming down with a cold?
Constantly.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
JJeffrey
(about Maxwell reading his play) He hates it.
What are you listening to him for, he passed on Cats.
It was singing pussycat people in a giant garbage can. What would you have done?
Two words, Mr. Sheffield: still running.
(to Yetta) What are you thinking?! This is the Sheffield's house! NO ONE EVER HAS SEX IN THIS HOUSE!
(commenting on Brighton and Grace) These kids. They got nothing from you!
Mom, these are not Fran's children. Fran doesn't have any children. She's not married. SHE'S ALL ALONE!!!
Louder, Ma. I don't think they heard you IN URUGUAY!!!
I tell ya, these personals are such a joke. Look at this: "Single White Female". That could mean anyone from Madonna to Janet Reno. Here's one: "Exotic Good Looks". I'm seeing a depilatory problem... Here's a gem. "Young bi-couple digs snakes. Contact Feoni. P.O. Box 666. No weirdos."
You have no idea how cruel children can be.
Honey, I've had this voice since the second grade. Need I say more?
Does anybody know what today is?
Another one of your colorful holidays involving plagues?
Think back, sir. One year ago today, someone's spiked heel dug its first gibbet into the parquet floor.
Weren't you going to get that fixed?
Come closer. One year to the day since we first learned: "If it ain't half-off, it ain't on sale."
C.C., maybe you can help shed some light on this. I mean, you're a woman.
I'm still waiting for the DNA results, sir.
Maybe I can pick something up at Bloomingdales. [about buying flowers for Fran]
CCC.C
But Maxwell, we have to get to the airport, you're not gonna miss this ceremony, I can't walk down the aisle alone!
I say prepare for the inevitable. [slams door in C.C.'s face as she turns around angry]
This woman, my nanny, is accused of a crime that I can assure you she didn't commit.
SSergeant
Prostitution?
I'm not a HOOKER! I'm a kidnapper.
Before Nanny Fine, we didn't have to step foot into a place like this.
HHooker
C.C. girlfriend, gotcha again huh?
CCC.C.
You must have me confused with someone else. (to Mr. Sheffield) I have never seen her before in my life.
HHooker
Oh, is that your game? That's cool, just stay off of 2nd Avenue, Leon is looking for you.
CCC.C.
Maxwell, I swear!
[to the hooker]: Here you go. (gives the hooker money)
HHooker
That good for you?
Oh, it was wonderful. I could do it again and again.
Say, some of the kids are going to the Hamptons for the weekend.
Oh, great! Will there be boys there?
Um... Maybe a few.
Fun! Parents? Ah! Who cares? They'll just get in the way anyway. Go! Have a blast! We don't even have to tell your father.
Really?
Sure! And when I'm fired and you're in the convent, we'll write each other letters and laugh about this.
You know what I think? You're jealous because Phillipe discovered something that was right under your nose.
And what would that be exactly?
My star quality!
That's rather like discovering the atomic bomb. Sounds good in theory but millions will suffer!
I KNEW IT! I knew she had no talent!
CCC.C.
People will be walking off in the middle of her performance.
Just like one of your dates.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Nanny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.