Sylvia Fine quotes from The Nanny

Fran

Dr. Miller says I should go out of the house without makeup on. That I should even tell people my real age.

Sylvia

What else does this "genius" have to say?

Fran

I don't know. I blacked out after that.

Niles

When you sent Miss Fine to therapy, you never thought about how this would affect me. Miss Babcock should be here, she's my home entertainment center

Niles, could you bring me a drink?

Niles

Happy hour doesn't start till you go home, see it just doesn't work with her

(to Niles) would you stop complaining, Miss. Fine giving up men is a god send

Niles

But sir your a man despite the way you trible a ball in those bath beads you like so much

This is not about me, Miss. Fine giving up her urge to be in a relationship is the best thing for her, no more rushing into romances no more getting her poor heartbroken

Niles

No more nudging you to make a commitment

Yea i know isn't it wonderful (He laughs) and the best part of it is it's all the doctor's idea there's no way i can be blamed for this

Sylvia

(she enters the room) I BLAME YOU FOR THIS (Maxwell runs and hides behind Niles) I don't know who the bigger nut is, that shrink for telling her she does not need to get married or (She points at Mr. Sheffield) you for paying for it tell her you can't afford it that you're broke.

Niles

oh she'll never believe that he's worth millions

What did he do?

Sylvia

Let's just say he put his hand some place he shouldn't have.

Oh my God! And nobody's going to do anything about it?!

Sylvia

What are you gonna do, call the police? They'd have to arrest every man on the subway.

Ladies, tell me: What could be better than my new play being nominated for a Tony Award?

Sylvia

Your face on my grandchild.

Maggie

How lucky is your grandmother getting married at her age. Do you know the odds of a woman over 35 finding a husband?

Sylvia

1 in 1245.6

Fran

Uh-huh. How much do you weigh, Ma?

Sylvia

Who can remember numbers?

Sylvia

Since I started my diet, I went down an entire cup size.

Fran

What cup size did you go down to, Ma? Stanley?

Sylvia

[Picking up the telephone] Yes?

Fran

[Excitedly] I'm getting married!

Sylvia

Sorry, Miss. You got the wrong number.

Sylvia

You're his partner in life. You're the woman behind the man. Help him, support him, be there for him, never refuse him. You get me?

Fran

Yeah, I get you. You're talking about dinner, right?

Sylvia

What else is there?... Do you know where your father would be today if I hadn't pushed him?

Fran

Not collecting disability?

Ah oh all right hands up anyone who doesn't belong In here

Sylvia

I bet you weren't expecting three gorgeous gals in your bed, now don't go getting any idea's

Yes well I think this has sufficiently put that fantasy to rest sylvia.

Sylvia

It's not natural. I never heard of such a thing. What man doesn't want to procrastinate with the woman he loves?

Fran

Procreate, ma.

Sylvia

Fran, I am telling you right now. If I don't get grandchildren out of him, I'll never step foot in this house again.

Fran

Well, congratulations, Ma. You just invented the first foolproof male contraceptive.

Sylvia

What is the one thing I taught you?

Fran

"Death begins in the colon"?

Sylvia

If you leave, I'm gonna throw myself in the Hudson River.

Fran

Ma, flooding New Jersey is not gonna solve anything.

Sylvia

I'm gonna call Morty and tell him to bring my nightgown. I'm sleeping over.

Niles

Is that really necessary?

Sylvia

Well, I could sleep in the nude. But there's the boy.

Sylvia

What's happening? When are they going to let us see her?

Oh Listen, mom, I'm sure Fran and the Baby are doing just fine

Sylvia

That's the first time you've called me mom

Well you've been more of a mother to me then my own mother ever was

Sylvia

Well you've certainly seen more of me

Niles

I'd love to lose more weight but nothing seems to kill my appetite.

Sylvia

Do what I did. I just looked at myself stark naked—

Niles

Thank you. That'll kill it.