C. C. Babcock quotes from The Nanny

C. C.

When she gets here, I don't want any screw-ups. [Starts sniffing]

What are you doing?

I'm sniffing for Alberto VO 5, Top Ramen, anything that reeks of Nanny Fine.

Niles

Ms. Babcock. [Offers her a drink]

C. C.

Thank you, Niles, but, you know, I'm not supposed to [Gulps it down] do that.

Niles

How many times have you not done that tonight?

About eight. Niles, now that Maxwell's taken, my life is over.

Niles

Ms. Babcock, you always underestimate yourself. You have a lot to offer a man. You're witty, you're sophisticated, you're beautiful, you're sexy...

How many times have you done that tonight?

Niles

About twelve.

Niles

[With a hangover] I had so much to drink at the reception. I had the strangest nightmare that Santa Claus was trying to have his way with me.

Oh my God.

C. C.

We didn't, did we?

Niles

I'm not sure. Say "Ho ho ho".

No one can ever know that this might possibly have happened.

Niles

Well, it ain't going on my resume.

C. C.

I have to call the agency. None of these models they submitted are right for our poster.

Niles

You know, sir, if you need an attractive photogenic man, on camera I can pass for—

Hume Cronyn?

Niles, thank you for your offer but this poster really needs to sell our new show. Someone virile with huge masculinity...

Niles

[Points to C.C.] Well, there's your man.

Fran

You know, Miss Babcock, for your information, I just found out: I'm not stupid. I'm sexy.

C. C.

Nanny Fine, don't sell yourself short. You're both.

Fran

Well, I am smart enough to know I have just been insulted, and sexy enough not to care.

Grace

She's rehearsing us until two in the morning!

C. C.

It's because you stink!

C.C., what do you expect when you choose "Antony and Cleopatra" for a grammar school?

How hard is it to play a pushy broad who runs around half-naked with too much makeup on? [To Grace] Have you learned nothing from your mother?

C. C.

Nanny Fine, I can understand why you can't trust me with Maxwell. After all, there were years of unrequited love and unfulfilled fantasies and shameless come-ons... but eventually he came to see he didn't have a chance with me.

Fran

So I'm guessing there's only food left in the mini-bar.