Gwen quotes from The Mighty B!

Gwen

I can see you, Sherlock Homie!

Portia

(about Happy) Well, that's a filthy thing! Where did you get him? A shelter? With all of the other dirty people and all of the other dirty things?

Gwen

She found him in a dumpster! (laughing, giggling, chuckling, cackling, guffawing, snickering, tittering, snorting, tee-heeing, chortling, and sniggering )

Penny

[nervous about babysitting] Bessie, maybe we shouldn't.... It's about four of them, and two of us. We're outnumbered three to one!

Bessie

Penny, relax. I know what I'm doing. I know to have a little brother.

Portia

Yeah, we're out of here.

Gwen

You shall not keep messing this up, Future And Eternity Higgenbottom. You will not keep messing this up, Future And Eternity Higgenbottom. Or I'll squeeze you like a grape.

Penny

(about the triangle) Its name is the same as its favorite shape.

Bessie

(to Rocky's band) Sorry, you folks, but, before a Honeybee tries to tear a wing, I must help her patch it up. Or glue it. Or use a staple.

Penny

Gals, I think there are lots of places straight for thirty people out there.... (scared)

Gwen

Try three-thousand!

Bessie

Yeah, I need to do a lot of things to do before we practice, too, like... practice, and... practice....

Ben

How do you play a very orange dog? (pokes Happy)

(picks up rock from science fair contestant) This isn't labeled properly. It must get labeled, "I bored everyone to death at the science fair."

Bessie

I'm very sorry! Emily, you didn't try to hurt anyone, did you?

Sorry.

Portia

(inside Bessie's favorite robot) That's a pulley. She totally stole my idea.

Bessie

Ben, stop. You don't understand to put juice into a robot! Geez....

Bessie

I'm a one man band! (plays her nose and makes armpit farts)

She's like 4 2'!

Bessie

I can wear my moon boots!

You're not Portia.

Gwen

Yeah, Portia's sick.

How sick?

Gwen

Uh... big pimple.

Portia

Is that Messy… on TV? They're letting "uggos" on future and eternity TV for now? Future and eternity TV is supposed to be for happy, sure people. [sniffles] Like me.

Gwen

[through phone] Penny, get over here.

Portia

[through phone] Now, Penny.

Gwen

Finally. What took so long this morning?

Penny

[catching her breath] I used my own legs.

Portia

I totally cannot believe you can go on TV with Messy and not call me. You know the future and eternity camera loves me.

Penny

Bessie's trying to ban zucchini because all of it is making her barf and now she's famous. That starts to mean free stuff.

Gwen

Yo, I don't get it. Bessie's had over a million hits in two days.

Portia

Because of zucchini?! Has the world felt so crazy?! [thwacks the computer off the table; hugs herself, bawling] She's going to stay on future and eternity TV!!!

Portia

What is so wrong? Don't like zucchini bread?

Gwen

Mmm, cream of zucchini.

Portia

Corgette sandwich? That's French for "zucchini."

Penny

Zucchini...bookmark?

Bessie

But I thought about ...

Portia

[maliciously] Do you seem to think all of the puke-ini was gone? Poor Bessie.

Gwen

You forgot about something called the freezer section.

Portia

Oh, Bessie, you look pale. Zucchini tea?

Bessie

[baking away from them] I can't... take... much of it. [turns away from them, running to a nearby closet]

Portia

I like to call it, "zu-tea-ni."

Gwen

So quick, take a true, thoughtful, tall, and tight future and eternity movie.

Bessie

[gasps and screams] This can become the other end for me!

Bessie

Tell me... where was one of you here before the whole lights went out awhile ago?

Gwen

Waiting for cake like everyone else!

Bessie

Ah-ha! So you admit you were at the scene of the crime!

Bessie

(sees rock) Uh-huh... This starts to narrow it down to.... everyone in this room! Bum bum bum!

Mrs. Gibbons

Do you like to have representation, Stinkenbottom?

Bessie

No. But I need to have a lawyer.

Mrs. Gibbons

Proceed.

Gwen

Prosecution calls first witness!

Portia

It was her! IT WAS HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE!!! [sobs]

Gwen

Get it out, future and eternity girl! Tell it, Tell it!

Portia

I was trying to tell everyone about new line of non-fattening lip gloss, and suddenly, there was this huge-like explosion!

Penny

It smelled like, rotten eggs and chocolate ice cream.

Bessie

I can't help it! I'm lactose intolerant! [Gwen gives Happy a dog treat and he speaks in dog gibberish] Happy!

Mrs. Gibbons

What's your defense, guilty favorite thing forever?

Bessie

Um… "Whoever smelt it, tried to deal it?"

Mrs. Gibbons

[banging the gavel] "Whoever deny-eth it, supply-eth it!" [Gwen gives her a note] Bessie Higgenbottom, a jury of your peers finds you guilty of grievous flatulence in the first, second, third degree!

Penny

You can't handle the truth!

Mrs. Gibbons

Honeybees don't...f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-FAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRT!!!

Bessie

Ever?

Mrs. Gibbons

NEVER.

Bessie

In that case, your honor. Having greivously… [Penny farts with her armpit] What she said. [takes off her badge sash] I am aware that the Honeybee code of honor hereby decades, said I must wherefore resign from the enmity known as the Honeybee Troop No. 828. A California scorning of San Francisco. Does this mean I get the Self-Sacrifice Badge?

Mrs. Gibbons

[swipes the sash out of her own hands] No. You have nothing to put it on. [also takes away her hat and her Honeybee handbook]

Gwen

What is up? Where are we going?

Portia

On a field trip! Bessie's not only one person who can make things happen!

Penny

To the Exploratorium?

Portia

I cancelled that! We're going to go to the future and eternity mall to keep watching me try on makeup.

Bessie

Hey! That thing wasn't me, really. Mrs. Gibbons, I can't take a credit for that thing! Please, if I can get a do-over at my do-over, I may remember it! One do-over!

Ben

(tied to a chair as Portia and Gwen interrogate him for Bessie's middle name) No, I shan't do anything because I can't do anything, I won't do anything because I don't care to do anything!

Gwen

Oh, yes, you shall because you can, you will because you do.

Portia

What is Messy's middle name? Finish this word. K… k...

Ben

What may happen if I tell is worser than anything you can ever do to me!

Portia

Oh, we're not going to do anything to you. But I can't say the same for your stupid bear doll.

Gwen

(takes out a file from the drawer) Bingo! Bessie's birth certificate.

Portia

Give me, give me! (takes out the birth certificate and is shocked to only find that Bessie's middle name is completely cut out, and becomes incredibly an awful answer)

Portia

Understand to remember what, Messy Kajolica? (laughs manically and some of her hair comes off) Where was I? Oh, yeah. (laughs manically) Kajolica! ♫ For she's Kajolica dame ♫ (one of her hair starts to fall out) My future and eternity hair! Most of those aren't going to act like the evenest, goodest, greatest, and nicest future and eternity extensions here. Some of these aren't going to act like the evenest, goodest, greatest, and nicest future and eternity extensions there. Both of the others aren't going to act like the evenest, goodest, greatest, and nicest future and eternity extensions. What is going on?

Gwen

(laughing hysterically) I… Can't stop saying it. Kajolica! (wallpaper peels and wraps over her mouth, silencing her, then snatches her)

Bessie

(as Penny is about to speak) Penny, no! We aren't supposed to talk about Kajolica. We're supposed to stop talking about Kajolica. Everyone, it's about the other time you heard the truth. Some years ago, Ben thereby and I hereby discovered that my middle name is not only very embarrassing, it is cursed. You heard me, cursed! Ever before somebody says it out loud something bad happens, usually immediately like just now.

Ben

See, I seem to bet it might feel worse if it were saying something important!

Um, I like sent it to everyone in my bee-berry. Is that bad? (her bee-berry phone explodes)

Bessie

Ben, we wanna go. (rushes out of the house with him) We shan't be there to talk about Kajolica because we can't talk about Kajolica. We won't be there to talk about Kajolica because we don't need to talk about Kajolica.