Grace van Pelt quotes from The Mentalist

Grace

Why do people say "Eureka!" when they do something good?

Cho

It's Greek for bingo.

Grace

Well, Eureka.

Grace

Witchcraft creeps me out.

Rigsby

It doesn't bother me. Nerds in cloaks.

Grace

There's more to it than that.

Rigsby

It's just a silly alternative lifestyle, like Star Trek or yoga.

Grace

I do yoga.

Rigsby

[holding a bag of carrots] What is this?

Grace

That is healthy and nutritious snacking.

Rigsby

I'm gonna die.

Lisbon

Where's everyone?

Grace

Weird. They all called in to sign out. Jane wasn't feeling well, Rigsby's got a hot date, and Cho got Kings tickets.

Lisbon

Son of a...

Grace

What?

Lisbon

Jane doesn't get sick, Rigsby's not on a date because he's in love with you, and the Kings aren't playing tonight.

Grace

You know about that?

Lisbon

Yeah, they're on an East Coast road trip. They're playing the Knicks tomorrow night.

Grace

No, I mean about Rigsby. How do you know about that?

Lisbon

Everybody knows about that. The attorney general knows that.

Grace

[about Mr. Wolcutt] He's also the type that would hire other people to do his dirty work.

Cho

Yes, he is. Hitmen aren't cheap and they don't take credit cards.

Grace

What was she thinking? She was so beautiful and he's so creepy.

Rigsby

Yeah, Dr. Rubenstein was hot, too. How does he do it?

Jane

All you need is a basic understanding of the evolutionary psychology of women. Rigorously and fearlessly applied. You get to know what buttons to press.

Lisbon

Like we're toasters?

Grace

Like men don't have buttons, too?

Jane

Men are like toasters. Women...little more like accordions.

Grace

I say we bring him in anyway for creepiness.

Lisbon

Which should be a criminal offense but it isn't.

Grace

Boss?

Lisbon

Hmm?

Grace

I've been here nearly six months now, half a year.

Lisbon

What do you want? Half a cake?

Grace

I want to take the lead on this interview.

Lisbon

[she pauses] Okay.

Grace

Okay?

Lisbon

Yeah, sure.

Grace

Thanks, boss.

I didn't know you were from Iowa. Famous potatoes, right?

Grace

That's Idaho you ignorant jerk.

Oh, yeah? What's Iowa famous for?

Jane

Gullible women.

Grace

That's not fair.

Grace

Hey. Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?

Jane

No.

Grace

Yes, you are.

Jane

They've had enough of me. Officer Powell here was kind enough to give me a ride back.

Grace

Well. Thank you...I guess.

Jane

Grace, personal question. Rigsby and I were wondering, uh...who is this man you were kissing by the coffee cart?

Grace

That's...that's none of your business.

Jane

Not from payroll?

Grace

Payroll? No, he doesn't even work here. It's none of your business.

Jane

Well, thank heavens for that, at least. No killing needed.

Rigsby

Don't be so sure.

Jane

You'll see. Honesty's best.

Rigsby

Yeah, honestly, I'd like to kick your butt right now.

Cho

He's from the A.G's office. We're catching a hot one.

Jane

Hooray. I was about to go mad with boredom.

Grace

Don't say hooray. Someone's died.

Jane

Well, if they have, my happiness makes no difference to them.

Grace

Nor does catching their killer for that matter.

Jane

True, but it makes a difference to the killer.

Dr. Daniel

You're ambitious, more than you let anyone see. A girl from nowheresville, desperate to make it big, but you're worried that you'll always be smalltown, smalltime, you haven't got what it takes, and that's why you're so shut down to everything but this job.

Grace

Dr. Daniel, no offense, but I've been working with Patrick Jane for nine months now. You wanna get under my skin, you're gonna have to up your game.

Grace

Where's your gift?

Jane

Oh, it's on its way. [Rigsby laughs]

Lisbon

Typical.

Jane

You really think that I would forget your birthday present? [Lisbon nods] It's on its way.

Lisbon

Yeah, right.

Jane

Little grumpy because daddy didn't buy you a pony?

Lisbon

You're leaving?

Jane

Well, frankly if I can't use this job to seek some kind of personal revenge then, uh, there's not a whole lot here for me. I don't make anything better. I can't bring dead people back to life. What good do we do? We drive around California visiting unhappy people.

Grace

We're fighting evil and injustice.

Jane

And how's that going? Any progress lately?

Cho

We put bad guys away where they can't hurt people. That's good enough.

Jane

Nah. I was doing more good as a psychic. I was giving people hope at least. False hope, but hope anyway.

Lisbon

You're right. Best you leave. That way you can go back to being a full-time fraud and we can continue our useless jobs in peace.