Kimball Cho quotes from The Mentalist

Cho

Hey, do you wanna go to work or do you wanna play nurse with King Tut?

Grace

Work. Definitely work.

Ben

I didn't know you guys were cops.

Cho

You thought we were selling magazine subscriptions?

Cho

How did you kill Nelson?

Poison.

Cho

What kind of poison did you use?

Wouldn't you like to know.

Cho

I do know, I'm wondering if you do.

Do you realize that the real rulers of this planet are insects?

Grace

Why do people say "Eureka!" when they do something good?

Cho

It's Greek for bingo.

Grace

Well, Eureka.

Cho

Man, I thought you were going to have her cast a spell, find the murder weapon.

Jane

Oh, spell's already cast.

Cho

When did she cast it?

Jane

She didn't. I did.

Cho

You can cast spells?

Jane

Cho, there's no such thing as spells.

Cho

I know that.

Jane

Relax. No such thing as witches.

Cho

[to himself] Yeah, it's easy for you to say. Weird witch-lady didn't burn you an effigy and bind you to her power.

Cho

Why did you give her my name? She said I was going to kneel before the Lord of Beasts. What does that even mean?

Jane

Oh, come on, you're not telling me you believe she's an actual witch?

Cho

No, of course not. But, I mean if dark forces did exist, stands to reason that there could be people who control them for their own ends.

Jane

They're called investment bankers.

Cho

Look, a goat. Goats are signs of Satan.

Lisbon

So petting zoos are, like, gateways to hell?

Cho

Pretty much.

Jane

If we're lucky, we'll find a murder weapon. It was obviously a well-planned robbery.

Cho

Why is that obvious?

Jane

Nobody finds themselves in a locked room full of old masters in the middle of the night by accident, do they? So, well-planned.

Rigsby

You better call Lisbon, give her an update.

Jane

You call her.

Rigsby

I can't. I'm driving. Cho?

Cho

No way.

Jane

Oh, come on, guys. I just robbed a Russian mobster. You can't call Lisbon?

Cho

When did you first meet Paul Fricke?

At a wine tasting event a friend was throwing.

Cho

And how long were you and he romantically involved?

Um, three, maybe four hours.

Grace

[about Mr. Wolcutt] He's also the type that would hire other people to do his dirty work.

Cho

Yes, he is. Hitmen aren't cheap and they don't take credit cards.

Cho

You didn't steal jewelery from her?

Please. She dresses like a Mormon call girl. I wouldn't wear her jewelery if you paid me.

I can make one phone call and your career is toast.

Cho

[decidedly unimpressed] That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.

Rigsby

You think about older women?

Cho

Where's this coming from? I don't think about older women. My mother's an older woman.

Rigsby

Not old, old. Just older, you know, older than you.

Cho

Why are you asking? You're not trying to set me up with somebody, are you?