Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Jane

The law's the law. My desire for revenge doesn't outweigh the rules. I have to accept that.

I'm glad you understand.

Jane

Thanks for your time.

He's lying through his teeth, isn't he?

Lisbon

Yes.

Red John is the friend of a friend of mine.

Jane

What is this friend's name?

His name is get me out of here and I'll tell you that and much more. I'll sing like a bird.

Cho

Man, I thought you were going to have her cast a spell, find the murder weapon.

Jane

Oh, spell's already cast.

Cho

When did she cast it?

Jane

She didn't. I did.

Cho

You can cast spells?

Jane

Cho, there's no such thing as spells.

Cho

I know that.

Jane

Witches have the power of telekinesis. She says that she has a spell, which will raise the weapon from wherever it's been concealed, and reveal itself to us.

And you believe this evil crap?

Jane

Well, you never can tell. We're going to give it a whirl.

Jane

They should wait 10 minutes, then go in.

Lisbon

Why wait?

Jane

Let the plot develop, let the fruit ripen, let the yeast rise, etcetera.

You don't speak to my son, without my permission.

Jane

Oh, well that's a little weird and controlling, but okay. Do you mind if I speak to your son, Mr. Elkins?

Jane

Must be tough being Cody Elkins' little brother.

No. Well, yeah, sometimes.

Jane

Me? I'd hate it. He gets all the attention, the glory, the girls flocking around, for what? For running and jumping and catching a thing?

Yeah, monkeys could do that.

Jane

Yeah.

Monkeys could do it better.

Jane

You know, if monkeys played football, they would kick some serious jock butt.

Go away.

Jane

I can't. I wish I could. It's my job to hound people until I get the truth.

Jane

Relax. No such thing as witches.

Cho

[to himself] Yeah, it's easy for you to say. Weird witch-lady didn't burn you an effigy and bind you to her power.

Cho

Why did you give her my name? She said I was going to kneel before the Lord of Beasts. What does that even mean?

Jane

Oh, come on, you're not telling me you believe she's an actual witch?

Cho

No, of course not. But, I mean if dark forces did exist, stands to reason that there could be people who control them for their own ends.

Jane

They're called investment bankers.

If a friend of mine had done this, they wouldn't have pointed the police right to me with a pentacle and flame. No, Cody's murder was staged to look like wicca. Any fool in this town would think of it. It's obvious misdirection. There's a witch in town. Duh.

Jane

A witch that put a killing spell on the boy in question.

Exactly. It's perfect.

How can you be so cold?

Jane

Practice.

Are you mad?

Jane

No, just kidding. It's just a prop to get me into the room. I am aware that you have the real painting.

Really? You are aware, and how are you aware of this?

Jane

I guessed. Confirmed by the predatory smile on your face when you asked me about it just then. You enjoy trapping people in nets of their own making, don't you?

Jane

Is that an M-16 or a Kalashnikov?

[to Kathryn] Son of a bitch. There's a machine gun in my painting. How in the hell could you not notice that?

[talking about the painting] $50,000,000, right there.

Jane

It's about $10,000 right there. It's a fake.

The hell it is.

Jane

Fake as a $6 bill.