Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Maddy

What are you, a moron? My dad just died.

Jane

Yes. My condolences. It happens. You'll learn to live with it. Not for, uh, a while, but in the end, you will.

Maddy

Who are you?

Jane

My name's Patrick Jane. I'm the man that will find out who it was that killed your father and have him or her or them put in a prison cell if you'll talk to me.

Jane

Now I have access to all your innermost thoughts.

Lisbon

Yeah, right.

Jane

I'm serious.

Lisbon

Okay. So what am I thinking right now?

Jane

You're thinking, I'm so glad Jane is joking around and he can't actually read my mind.

Lisbon

No. Well, actually, yes, but not for the reason you think.

Jane

What reason do I think?

Lisbon

Never you mind.

Rigsby

You're blushing.

Jane

You are blushing.

Maddy

I don't care!

Patrick

Yes you do. I think you care very much!

Lisbon

What if we take this case and it turns out she's guilty?

Jane

She didn't do it.

Lisbon

How do you know?

Jane

Because she told me she didn't. She wouldn't lie to me.

Lisbon

Why not?

Jane

Because she wouldn't.

Lisbon

Suppose she did.

Jane

Well, if shes is guilty, then we need to catch her and punish her, but she's not.

Lisbon

Jane, I know I said I wouldn't ask, but I'm asking. Who is this woman? What's the connection?

Jane

You don't wanna know.

Jane

Yeah, I went through a rough patch. Did a little time in a hospital. Sophie helped me through that time.

Lisbon

It's not on your record.

Jane

No. Believe me, I...it's not easy to do. I know there's nothing shameful about having a breakdown, but I gotta confess, I am ashamed of it.

Lisbon

Thank you for being so honest with me.

Jane

Sorry I kept it from you.

Lisbon

Seriously, I've stuck my stupid neck out for you for the umpteenth time. I think I deserve the truth. Why is Sophie Miller so important to you?

Jane

She was my doctor.

Lisbon

She's a psychiatrist.

Jane

Yes. She was my psychiatrist.

Lisbon

But you hate psychiatrists. So you always say.

Jane

She was a good psychiatrist.

Lisbon

She must have been, if she managed to keep you in the room.

Jane

It was a locked room.

Lisbon

[pauses] Oh.

Jane

You don't like the way I drive, you despise it.

Lisbon

You drive way too fast.

Jane

I drive just fast enough. You hate not being the one in control and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears to cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing, Lisbon. Thank you, I'd love to drive.

Lisbon

Never mind.

Lisbon

Aw. Jane kissed a girl.

Jane

What? Yeah on the cheek.

Lisbon

Still counts.

Jane

Let's keep it casual to start with Sophie. Let her relax. If she gets her guard up, we'll get nothing from her.

Lisbon

You're very combative all of a sudden.

Jane

Yeah, if she is guilty, she lied to me and I believed it. She fooled me.

Lisbon

The ultimate sin.

Jane

Yes it is.

Jane

The widow's not a true blonde. She's naturally dark.

Lisbon

And what?

Jane

And her hair's colored and styled to look like Sophie, only younger. She was a brunette when I knew her.

Lisbon

So Nelson was a control freak like you said.

Jane

A control freak with a serious thing for getting his women to dye their hair blonde.

Lisbon

Kerry Sheenan has roots.

Jane

Yes, she does.

Lisbon

Sheenan and Alex Nelson were having an affair.

Jane

Bravo!

You are skeptical. Nevertheless, it's true we are plumbing the depths of the human soul. Do you know what's down there? Do you know what your soul is made of?

Jane

Frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails?

Ah. Humor. Good.

Jane

Hey, thanks for not telling I made you take the case. Lisbon? Hello?

Lisbon

Tell me the truth.

Jane

Truth. Darth Vader? Luke's father.

Jane

Eighteen years of secret anger. How did you stand it?

Nobody's life is perfect.

Gardner Renfrew is a player in this town. You can't go to his house and screw around with him.

Jane

Why not? It's a free country.

Lisbon

Minelli wants me to keep a watch on you.

Jane

What are you going to do?

Lisbon

I'm not going to follow you around. Let's compromise. When you get into trouble, call me first so I can try and minimize the damage.