Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Lisbon

[Answering her phone] Where the hell are you?

Jane

Nicole remembered everything. She can describe the suspect. We're looking for a tall, well-built man with brown hair and glasses. Mid-thirties.

Lisbon

That's it? That describes half the men in California.

Jane

Yeah, that's it. But at least we know it wasn't her that killed Kara. And it wasn't Rulon Farnes.

Lisbon

Nice work. For this you illegally abducted her from the sheriff's custody?

Jane

Yeah, I was gonna tell you about it, but seeing that it's illegal, best to keep you out of it so you have deniability.

Lisbon

How considerate of you.

Jane

Oh, let him go.

Lisbon

Let him go?

Cho

What for?

Rigsby

We had to fight to catch him.

Jane

Oh, you're such policemen. Yes, let him go.

Jane

Tell me, of the men on this search party, which one would you guess is a violent sexual predator?

What kind of question is--

Jane

[Interrupting] Who's name just popped into your head? Someone's did. There's always someone.

This is your method? Asking people to guess who done it? Strange kind of detective work you guys do.

Lisbon

Bad karma doesn't have an expiration date.

Jane

Uh, actually it does. According to traditional Buddhist teachings. I'm counting on it.

Jane

Let's go. I got us a table booked at the best restaurant in town. Apparently they tell you the name of the cow your steak came from.

Grace

That's horrible.

Jane

You guys are gonna be going over a punch of boring files now, I expect. So I think I'll work here, play a little, get the lay of the land. Give me a hundred bucks?

Lisbon

I don't think that's such a good idea.

Jane

Sure you do. I'll give it back to you double.

Lisbon

Look, here's a hundred, but you'll pay me back double, right?

Jane

Triple.

The Casino's on the Nevada side of the resort and offers full-service gaming. We recently spent ten million upgrading the facilities to improve the experience.

Jane

They use the same techniques in state-of-the-art animal husbandry to make cows and sheep feel more comfortable.

Really?

Jane

Dim lights, soft music, a maze of passages that lead you back to the pens, or in this case the slots.

Don't hold back. Speak your mind.

Jane

There's no clocks or windows anywhere, so there's no passage of time. Low priced alcohol is poured down you by attractive young women. Oxygen is pumped into the place to make you stay awake and the constant symphony of bells and sirens that make it seem like someone's winning all the time.

But someone is always winning. You see, our machines are carefully designed to let every gambler have a taste of victory. Just enough to keep them pumping their money into the machines and on to the table. So what's your point?

Jane

Oh, no point. I love it.

Rigsby

No. We're gonna be talking to the hand for a long while.

Jane

Why so glum? A case is a case.

Rigsby

We're in the middle of nowhere. Windy as all hell. I haven't eaten anything. Dismemberments are a bitch. Spend months assembling the victim, there's always a piece missing.

Jane

There's already plenty to work with right here.

Grace

It's a right hand with the number 43 on it.

Daniel

That last hand. How did you do that?

Jane

Oh, I cheated.

Daniel

But how?

Jane

Next time we play, I'll show you.

Lisbon

Did your wife have anything to do with this?

Daniel

No. No. She had nothing to do with this. And the idiot never suspected it was me. How's that for denial? How did you know it was me?

Jane

Well, when we first met, you were more concerned about the college football scores than you were your father-in-law's murder.

Daniel

So?

Jane

So when you're searching for a killer, the degenerate gambler in the room is a good person to look at.

Daniel

I'm not degenerate. I'm a professional. I'm just having a streak of bad luck.

Lisbon

Yes, you are.

Lisbon

Play nice, Van Pelt's entitled to her opinion.

Jane

Not if it's wrong. This is like believing in the Easter Bunny.

Rigsby

Who said there's no Easter Bunny?

Jane

Calling? Is that what this is?

Yeah. Calling. Gift if you like, there's no doubt you have it. Why'd you give it up?

Jane

It was the suits. Chaffing. Horrible.

Jane

Nice cradling.

Play lacrosse?

Jane

No. Fast moving sticks scare me.

Kristina

I talked to your wife...[Patrick begins to stop her] ah, ah... [Kristina pauses] Ever since your wife and daughter were killed, there's a question about that night's events that's been tormenting you, yes? Yes?

Jane

Yes.

Kristina

Your wife wants me to tell you that your daughter never woke up. She didn't know what happened. She wasn't scared, not even for a second.

Jane

Are you done channeling? That's it?

Kristina

That's it.

Jane

[Curtly] Thanks.

Kristina

Goodbye, Mr. Jane.

Grace

[Talking about Kristina] Excuse me, but you might consider the possibility that she's actually honestly in touch with something beyond your understanding.

Jane

That would be golf and musical theater of the 30s and 40s.