Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Jane

Here we go Lisbon... Gossip.

Jane

Beautiful orchid, Grace. Well chosen, Rigsby.

Jane

I keep finding strangers in my bedroom. Guess it was a good party.

Why is it you can't sleep?

Jane

Because I can't get the good pills without talking to a doctor.

You don't like talking to a doctor?

Jane

They always want to be the smartest person in the room, don't they? When in fact, that's me, obviously.

Jane

Be reasonable. This is my case.

Lisbon

Your case?

Jane

Red John's mine.

Lisbon

Red John doesn't belong to anyone.

Jane

He belongs to me.

Grace

Mr. Jane, I have a question regarding your previous career path.

Jane

Fire away.

Grace

When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending?

Jane

There's no such thing as real psychics.

Grace

I beg to differ. My cousin Yolanda is a psychic.

Jane

Your cousin is deluded or dishonest or both.

Rigsby

Hey, steady.

Grace

No, no, he's entitled to his opinion. He's wrong, though. She has power. She can communicate with the other side. I've seen her do it myself.

Jane

She let you speak with someone that's gone, someone that you love and still miss very much. You wanted her power to be real so it was.

Rigsby

You're so sure you're right. Science doesn't know everything.

Grace

Five hundred years ago, radio would have seemed like magic. Five hundred years in the future, it could be totally normal to communicate with the other side.

Jane

The other side?...There is no other side...

I don't understand. You're psychic?

Jane

No, just paying attention. I used to make a good living pretending to be a psychic. I tell you this because I want you to understand there's no point hiding things from me.

Grace

How do you do that?

Jane

Telekinesis.

Cho

He blew on it.

Jane

That is another way to do it.

Grace

Okay do you want this desk or that one over there? I mean that one gets more light so...

Patrick

More light, definitely!

(looks up and says sarcastically) Oh Hi. When did you get here?

Don't even start! I'm still angry!

Patrick

I'm sorry!

No you're not! (Patrick places an origami frog on her desk and walks away) A frog? This makes everything better doesn't it?! (gasps as the frog jumps at her and turns to smile at Patrick but turns away when he smiles at her)

Lisbon

If it wasn't him, then who was it? And if you say a man who likes red hair and silver duct tape, I'll scream.

Patrick

I don't want you to scream.

Jane

I made a booking for two for this afternoon. Could you put us on the terrace? It's more romantic. Thanks... Yeah, Patrick... Lovely. See you then. [To Lisbon] Don't fret, I wouldn't seduce you over a meal. That'd be very sophomoric.

Lisbon

I didn't think you were trying to seduce me.

Jane

Come on, how could that thought not have entered your head?

Jane

Your denial that it did intrigues me.

Lisbon

Bite me.

Lisbon

That was funny, the way she gave him up so easily like that?

Jane

Yeah, it was. But you were right, huh? Secret lover. Guess I was wrong about the whole red-hair-and-duct-tape thing.

Lisbon

You hypnotized her, didn't you?

Jane

I certainly did not. [Lisbon just stares at him] Okay, no. Yes, I did hypnotize her, but--

Lisbon

But nothing. It's unprofessional and it's illegal. It's totally out of bounds.

Cho

That's what I told him.

Jane

I was gonna say you had nothing to do with it, but hey.

Lisbon

[Cho]if you allow him to pull that stuff again, and you'll be showing visitors around the statehouse in a stupid hat.

Jane

Raquel, look at me. Before you fall asleep tonight while you're lying in your bed relaxing and slowly drifting off into sleep... I want you to think of me. Think of me and imagine that you can fly. Imagine that you're weightless. You can float gently into the air if you want to. Safe, and calm, and serene. You can fly away and leave all your burdens and worries and fears behind you. [pauses] Imagine that. What a nice feeling it is. Next time you see me, [taps Raquel gently on the knee] when I say hello you'll remember that good feeling and you will want to tell me the truth. Because when you do tell the truth, you feel that a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I'll say hello and you will feel as light as a feather... as if you are floating on air. [leans back with a smile on face] Why don't you sit here a moment and think about that before you go back to work?

Whatever. [turns to Cho] Your friend's crazy. Can I go now?

Cho

Yes.

Jane

[looking at Cho] It worked on the chicken.

Lisbon

Everything's funny.

Jane

Well, if you try. I mean, come on. That was pretty funny. Strange though. I was sure the Chef would bite. I mean, there's still a chance he could show up.

Lisbon

The chef? Malcolm? Why do you think it's him?

Jane

He uses way too much butter.

Lisbon

Say--?

Jane

He's a gluttonous baby. He's self indulgent. He wants what he wants and takes it.

Lisbon

Too much butter.

Jane

Yeah.

Lisbon

It's fascinating, the way your mind works.