Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

I do what Red John tells me to do.

Jane

What?

Your freedom, our night together. That was a gift from him. He can harm me if you'd like.

Jane

No, I don't wanna hurt you. I've given up, he knows that. What does he want from me?

He doesn't want anything from you. After all these years, he's coming to see you as an old comrade rather than an enemy. He hopes you'll come to feel the same way.

Jane

A comrade.

Patrick, look at yourself. You need a new life. He can give that to you.

Jane

You have to leave.

He's offering the hand of friendship, if you refuse him, he'll be upset. Anyone would-

Jane

Get out.

You know where to find me.

Jane

This is God! What is it now?

Lisbon

You scared the life out of me.

Jane

I crawled all the way on my hands in these from that door, but was worth it.

Lisbon

What are you doing here?

Jane

It's good to see you! How have you been?

Lisbon

Worried sick, that's how I've been! And then you pop in here like you're some sort of a lunatic playing games and asking me how I've been?!

Jane

Just-

Lisbon

Shame on you.

Jane

Just stay calm, ok? It's important no one sees us together.

Lisbon

Why not?

Jane

I'm faking my breakdown. It's a boost to trap Red John.

Lisbon

You son of a bitch! You. Son. Of a bitch!

Jane

Ok, we are in a church.

Jane

Fooled you, I could fool him.

Lisbon

Yeah, you fooled me. Alright, well done.

Jane

Yeah... Well, I'm sorry.

Lisbon

I tried calling. I tried calling you hundreds of times, begging you to talk to me, begging you to get help. Not a reply, not a word, not a text.

Jane

Sorry.

Lisbon

You know what? I've not been sleeping, I have not- Forget it, never mind. You know, you're a jerk. And your plan, it's not even a plan.

Jane

But you will help me?

Lisbon

What am I supposed to say? No? God, you're despicable!

And you'll need to bring him a gift. To show your respect for him.

Jane

What kind of gift?

Teresa Lisbon's dead body would be the perfect thing.

Lisbon

So that thing you said before you shot me... What did you mean?

Jane

...what did I say? I was kinda hyped up.

Jane

Your inarticulate rage is understandable, but it's misplaced. You should probably just calm down.

You calm yourself down, I'm not angry.

Jane

No? Your temples are pulsing like some weird under-sea creature. If that's not anger you should see a doctor.

Lisbon

So did you buy that bracelet for Lorelai?

Jane

No, just a whim. Liked it. When I talk to her I need to be alone.

Lisbon

You will be.

Jane

I mean, with nobody watching or listening. I need to be able to tell her truthfully that we are alone.

Lisbon

Okay.

Jane

Thank you.

Lisbon

Just be careful. Don't get pulled into her game.

Jane

And what game is that?

Lisbon

I don't know, you tell me.

Jane

Well, I'm supposed to tell the game that you're thinking of? Okay, you're thinking of... Twister?

Lisbon

Go ahead. Laugh. But she's practically the first person since your wife that you...

Jane

Ooh!

Lisbon

It wouldn't be surprising if you had feelings for her.

Jane

She's a stepping stone to Red John. I knew that from the beginning. I don't have any feelings for her.

Hello Patrick.

Jane

Lorelai.

Is it just us or are your friends listening?

Jane

Just us, we're alone. (Lisbon is actually listening, but Jane doesn't know)

Good. Much nicer that way.

Jane

Sorry I didn't come to visit you sooner, I've been a little busy with a case.

It's okay. I've been enjoying the peace and quiet.

Jane

You need anything?

I'm fine. Nevermind about me, how are you? Back to solving crimes, huh?

Jane

Yes.

Why do you bother? You're trying to hold back the tide with a broom. I think you do it to be close to Teresa Lisbon. I think you're a little bit in love with her.

Jane

I-I do it to... pass the time.

Jane

I can do anything you want if you give me Red John.

I want your trust and friendship.

Jane

You have that.

I don't believe you.

Jane

How can I make you believe?

Kiss me.

Jane

What does that prove?

First you say you'll do anything I want, then you refuse the first thing I ask for. You're very complicated. (Jane kisses Lorelai)

Lisbon

What are you? Huh? Crazy?

Jane

Excuse me?

Lisbon

I told you to be careful. I told you not to go over the edge.

Jane

And I told you not to listen.

Lisbon

Don't be childish! I am not your girlfriend, I am an officer of the law! How could I not listen?! You kissed her. And you offered to help her escape.

Jane

And I would ask her to marry me if I thought she would buy it. I was playing her.

Lisbon

She was playing you.

Lisbon

I don't think you should be talking to Lorelai. You're too close.

Jane

Well I disagree.

Lisbon

I could put a stop to this right now. One word to Bertram-

Jane

Please don't do that. I know I can turn her. I know I can. And I promise you I will be careful.

Lisbon

Okay. (Jane touches Lisbon on the shoulder)

Jane

Thank you.

Rigsby

Ah well done.

Cho

Good job, when do we get her back?

Jane

The judge said we can pick her up from County Jail tomorrow.

Rigsby

Did Mancini really throw a bottle at you?

Jane

Yes he did. And then he procedeed to chase me through the State House. But failed to catch me.

Lisbon

Congratulations, another mortal enemy made. You shoul be very proud.

Jane

Look, I'm sorry by the way.

Lisbon

For what? There's a long list of possibilities.

Jane

Well, it's just some general apologies. Use it for your top issue.

Lisbon

Thanks.

Jane

I had a daughter named Charlotte.

Charlotte

I know..

Jane

No. No you don't. Who put you up to this? Red John?

Charlotte

Red John, Red John, Red John. I'm so over Red John!

Jane

You are not my daughter. My daughter was murdered. I found her body.

Charlotte

You are safe, you are loved and you are wise.

Jane

Who told you those words?

Charlotte

You did. Every night when you tucked me in the bed.

Charlotte

What happened to you? I've been dead for ten years and you're still stuck in neutral. You have no life, just this endless obsession. Red John, Red John. Mom would not be happy.

Jane

Well, my relationship with your mother is... it's my business. Show a little respect.

Charlotte

Hello? I'm a figment of your imagination. Show yourself some respect.

Jane

This is what I've missing out? All these years? When you're gonna go to college again?

Charlotte

Look at you, you can't even be real with someone who doesn't even exist. Does anyone know who you are?

Jane

Yes.

Charlotte

Who? Come on, who?

Jane

Lisbon.