Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Jane

I understand your position. There's no reason to beat yourself up about it.

Lisbon

What are you talking about?

Jane

Well, that you feel bad about Rigsby and Van Pelt.

Lisbon

No I don't.

Jane

Well, you can't help wondering if there's a hint of jealousy and resentment in your decision.

Lisbon

Excuse me?

Jane

Message received.

Jane

Who is this "KS," by the way?

Cho

Gang leader. Bad guy.

Jane

What did you do to make him mad?

Cho

I shot him.

Jane

That'll do it.

Lisbon

Where are my key?

Lisbon

You picked my pocket!

Jane

My turn to drive.

Lisbon

Jane!

Jane

Oh, don't be such an old lady. Get in. Your fears are groundless.

Lisbon

You're right. The car has airbags

Lisbon

It's okay. She's gone.

Jane

Who's gone?

Lisbon

Oh please, your guilty conscience is obvious and well deserved.

Jane

Man. Justice can be a harsh mistress.

Lisbon

I apologize for my colleague.

Jane

No, she doesn't! I retract that apology.

Lisbon

You know what made me feel better? Punching you in the nose.

Jane

[smiles] Glad to be of service.

Lisbon

What are you looking for?

Jane

The dirt under his nails smelled like rosemary. [finds a planter of rosemary which fits a jewelry box found at the scene] Whatever was inside this box killed our man.

Lisbon

Well. The case is practically closed.

Jane

There's no reason to be snarky.

I guess it's your way of saying you're unhappy with how I'm handling Lisbon.

Jane

We spend a lot of time together, and when she's unhappy I'm less happy. It's human nature.

Yes, it is. I'll tell you what, Patrick. Why don't you let me handle my business my way and judge me by the results, and I'll let you handle yours your way. Up to a point.

Jane

That sounds fair. Up to a point.

Jane

Catching killers I enjoy, but being reminded that we're just a cog in a petty, fascist machine? That is a little depressing.

Lisbon

Crime fighting is hard. Suck it up.

Jane

I'm going into the Drapers' lair.

Lisbon

That's not a lair, it's an office, and no you're not.

Jane

Oh yes I am. Listen, I'm a little scared, you wouldn't want me to get hurt would you?

Lisbon

Don't bet on it. Why the Drapers?

Jane

A hunch. They're key in this somehow.

Lisbon

You think they hired Silva?

Jane

Well, they certainly look the part.

Lisbon

Why the hell didn't you call Cho?

Jane

You were closer.

Lisbon

Call Cho. I'm not even armed.

Jane

More lies! You have at least two guns in that car. Three?! You're the poster girl for the NRA.

Jane

Well, we caught the bad guy.

Lisbon

Yes, we did.

Jane

Most days that's enough.

Lisbon

Yep.

Jane

You want to go to the range and shoot something?

Lisbon

I'll drive.

So you're the psychic, huh?

Jane

No. There's no such thing as psychics.

Don't you ever get tired of your own cynicism?

Jane

Oh, weary as hell, but what's the alternative?

Jane

So, is she telling the truth?

Kristina

I'm not sure. The spirit is deeply conflicted. I can't get a clear reading.

Jane

What are you using, dial-up?

Kristina

You can smile your arrogant smile and pretend you know everything about everything, but you don't. There are whole worlds that you can't even begin to understand.

Jane

Synchronized swimming is the only world that springs to mind, but I'm sure you're right.