Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Lisbon

Why so cruel?

Jane

Statistically, it's dad that did it.

Lisbon

Since when do you care about statistics?

Jane

Just wanted to raise his pulse a little.

Jane

Do you always follow your husband's lead? Do you never struggle against his desire to control?

Excuse me?

Jane

Just because you drink too much doesn't mean you don't have a say. I should think he's at least half the reason you drink in the first place. Yeah? A good man, but cold, pious.

You know, possession of that badge does not excuse you from acting with human decency.

Jane

Please understand something. I have a very personal interest in this case. I'll do whatever it takes. I will have you framed for murder. I will torture you, I will kill you myself if I have to.

Geez, Lisbon. Come on, this is on tape. Control your man there.

Lisbon

Cut him some slack. Look, he's just playing the guy. He doesn't mean it.

Doesn't he? You know what Red John does to him. He can't think straight. He would do all that he said and more if you let him.

Lisbon

I won't let him.

Jane

If we catch Red John, he's not walking anywhere. He's mine.

Lisbon

Don't talk like that. I can't let you anywhere near this case if you start talking crazy like that.

Jane

Crazy? You're crazy if you think you're gonna stop me. Red John is mine. You try to stand in my way and you will regret it.

Lisbon

Are you threatening me?

Jane

No, I'm just saying that if you stand in my way you--

Lisbon

[interrupting] I've had it with your egotistical crap. This isn't about justice or the law. This is about you and your wounded pride. I'm done with it.

Lisbon

We still have Hardy, okay? He's gonna tell us what we need to know.

Jane

Oh, you think so? You should have waited. We agreed on that.

Lisbon

What if Hardy had killed you right here?

Jane

He would have led you straight to Red John.

Lisbon

You'd be dead.

Jane

But you would have Red John.

Lisbon

I don't think you mean what you say. I think you'd choose life.

Jane

Well, you think wrong.

Lisbon

No. No, you think wrong. Can't you see there's people who care about you? Who need you? You're being selfish and childish and I want you to stop it.

Jane

I wish that I could, but, you know, some things you just can't fix.

Jane

What do you know about the case?

Not much. He's a serial killer, 15 victims, including your wife and child. I can imagine your pain. Maybe that pain is clouding your judgment.

Jane

Well... [He leaves the room]

Lisbon

And me, Sam? What's clouding my judgment?

Good question. You tell me.

Jane

Candice, take my advice. Forgive your mother. Maybe the headaches will stop.

I love my mother.

Jane

Oh, I'm wrong. Ignore my advice.

Jane

Well, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not happy I'm off the Red John case. You might be right. Here's the thing Sam, if I may. I know this case. I can be a very good resource for you if we could just come to some kind of understanding.

You want me to keep you up-to-date on the case?

Jane

Yeah... sure.

Tell you about fresh leads and so?

Jane

Yeah, let's just keep an open line of communication.

Let me communicate this to you. You're a party entertainer. A clown. Fresh leads? I wouldn't tell you where the bathroom is if your ass was on fire.

Jane

[laughs]

Do we have a good understanding now?

Jane

I understand you. It may take you some time to understand me.

You're filled with equal parts of self-loathing and self-love. You're addicted to control, you're terrified of confinement. Your wife wanted you to quit psychic trade. She begged you to stop. But you were making too much money, you were having too much fun, you can still hear her pleading with you. How am I doing?

Jane

You read the interviews in my case file. You can read. Very impressive.

Look, Patrick. I'm sorry for being so blunt with you. You're not a detective. You're a victim. (leaves)

Cho

Yeah, the door was open.

Rigsby

Uh, no, it wasn't.

Jane

AHA! Of course.

Cho

What?

Jane

Rigsby, you're right. You shouldn't be here. Let us take this. You go find the nearest library.

Rigsby

Why?

Jane

Your punishment for being a wuss is I'm not gonna tell you.

Rigsby

Oh, come on.

Jane

Nope, I'm not gonna tell you.

Jane

You're glad Bosco has the Red John case, aren't you?

Lisbon

Bosco is a good agent. He's as good as they come. It might not be such a bad thing that we're off the case for a while. We got too close.

Jane

Is that what your shrink tells you?

Lisbon

Everybody tells me that.

Jane

But your shrink did tell you that, didn't he?

Lisbon

Who's Miles Thorsen?

Jane

No one in particular.

Lisbon

This is what I'm talking about.

Jane

Oh. No, me too. You want no fuss, no mess, right? I am casting a wide, invisible net, the killer won't even know he's in it until it's too late.

Lisbon

Miles Thorsen is an invisible net?

Jane

Yes, he is.

Lisbon

No secrets, Jane. No lies, no tricks, no surprises. The truth.

Jane

Since when is that the rule?

Lisbon

Since I said so.

Jane

Or else what?

Lisbon

You're off the unit.

Jane

That's not leverage. This is my last case, remember. The only reason I'm still here is because I'm worried about how you guys would cope without me.

Lisbon

Oh, really? So we're lost without you, are we?

Jane

Well, yeah. Let's be honest here.

Lisbon

Let's go!

Lisbon

You're leaving?

Jane

Well, frankly if I can't use this job to seek some kind of personal revenge then, uh, there's not a whole lot here for me. I don't make anything better. I can't bring dead people back to life. What good do we do? We drive around California visiting unhappy people.

Grace

We're fighting evil and injustice.

Jane

And how's that going? Any progress lately?

Cho

We put bad guys away where they can't hurt people. That's good enough.

Jane

Nah. I was doing more good as a psychic. I was giving people hope at least. False hope, but hope anyway.

Lisbon

You're right. Best you leave. That way you can go back to being a full-time fraud and we can continue our useless jobs in peace.

Jane

Can I please continue working with you?

Lisbon

I thought you were quitting.

Jane

You know I didn't mean that.

Lisbon

So the job is worthwhile, is it?

Jane

Uh, it's not that. I mean, it' not that at all. It's just... I have nothing else to do.

Lisbon

No jokes. From now, there have to be boundaries.

Jane

Agreed.

Lisbon

I need to know that you can do your work and be effective without creating a mess that I have to clean up.

Jane

No mess, I swear.

Lisbon

On that basis, you can remain with the unit.

Jane

Thank you. [He hugs her]

Lisbon

How did it go with Bosco?

Jane

Good. It was, uh, it was very good. We had a frank exchange of views.

Lisbon

So he's gonna keep us in the loop?

Jane

No.

Lisbon

No?

Jane

Wouldn't direct me to the bathroom if my ass was on fire.