Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

I didn't know you were from Iowa. Famous potatoes, right?

Grace

That's Idaho you ignorant jerk.

Oh, yeah? What's Iowa famous for?

Jane

Gullible women.

Grace

That's not fair.

Lisbon

He needs to go to a hospital. He has to go if you order him to.

I could, but someone did try to kill him, remember? We can protect him better here. At less expense.

Jane

Thanks, Virgil.

Okay. But this is a favor. If you die in this department, I'm responsible. I do all the paperwork. In fact if he does die for whatever reason, move him to a public area, would you? I'd be very grateful.

Jane

I hope he's smiling.

Jane

Holding something of James' would help me pick up a feel for him. Get a sense of his being.

Okay. Excuse me. [She leaves the room]

Jane

Thank you.

Lisbon

"Sense of his being"? What are you playing at?

Jane

Just go with it. I have to practice this touchy-feely stuff. It's been a while.

Lisbon

You're not gonna be blind forever.

Jane

No, right. Because bad stuff like this doesn't happen nearly as often as people think it does.

Lisbon

How long will his vision be affected?

It's hard to say, really. The body's healing powers are unpredictable. But 48 to 72 hours is the norm. We must wait and see, so to speak.

Jane

Ha, humor. Great. Everybody loves a witty doctor in times of trouble.

Another bomb threat. Third this year.

Jane

Not on my phone it isn't.

Well, granted they don't usually come through the CBI, but that's what the drills are for.

Jane

The text read, "Are you smart enough to find it?" I think this was directed at me.

Lisbon

Of course you think this is about you.

Rigsby

Who kissed her?

Jane

Didn't catch his name.

Rigsby

It's probably that knucklehead from payroll. He's been stalking her like a chicken. What did this man look like?

Cho

How do you stalk a chicken?

Rigsby

You know what I'm talking about.

Grace

Hey. Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?

Jane

No.

Grace

Yes, you are.

Jane

They've had enough of me. Officer Powell here was kind enough to give me a ride back.

Grace

Well. Thank you...I guess.

Rigsby

Jane, I need to ask you a favor. I need you to, uh...I need you to find out from Van Pelt about this guy she's dating. You know, what's the score?

Jane

The score?

Rigsby

Is it serious? Are they, uh, you know?

Jane

Ask her yourself.

Rigsby

Yeah, right. No. Come on. You know the situation. It's against the rules, relationships between coworkers.

Jane

What are you, a man or a mouse?

Rigsby

A man, obviously.

Jane

Could've fooled me.

Rigsby

If it's that guy from payroll, I will kill him.

Jane

Well, that would be a strong, romantic statement. Women like a man that would kill for them. Hey, Van Pelt!

Rigsby

Don't!

Jane

Grace, personal question. Rigsby and I were wondering, uh...who is this man you were kissing by the coffee cart?

Grace

That's...that's none of your business.

Jane

Not from payroll?

Grace

Payroll? No, he doesn't even work here. It's none of your business.

Jane

Well, thank heavens for that, at least. No killing needed.

Rigsby

Don't be so sure.

Jane

You'll see. Honesty's best.

Rigsby

Yeah, honestly, I'd like to kick your butt right now.

Lisbon

What the hell?

Jane

Oh, doctor's orders. She said it was the best thing for me to do, get back to work.

Lisbon

She did not. She said you insulted the entire ward and were a complete pain in the ass.

Jane

Nah. So?

Lisbon

So, you can't do that.

Jane

What was I supposed to do, just sit there and listen to television? Besides, the food was terrible.

Lisbon

You need the rest.

Jane

I need to work.

Lisbon

You're blind.

Jane

It's no problem, honestly. My other senses are heightened. They're super heightened. I'm like Daredevil. Now, if you'll excuse me.

Lisbon

Okay.

Jane

Ah, heightened.

Jane

Oh, please don't look at each other like that.

Lisbon

Like what? You can't see.

Jane

I can feel. I can feel your pity.

Cho

How is he?

Lisbon

Guess what, he's a bad patient.

Cho

Who would've thought.

Jane

I'm not a bad patient. She's a bad visitor.

Jane

You're very confident of his innocence. How can you be so sure?

Jessie Skelling

Because I asked him if he did it and he said no, he didn't do it.

Jane

You suspected he might indeed have done it. But he denied it. You believe him.

Jessie Skelling

Lee don't lie to me. He'll cause me trouble a hundred which ways, but he don't lie to me.

Jane

Wives often say that about their husbands. Easy to fool yourself that the people you love are honest.

Lisbon

I know. I can read your mind.

Jane

Oh, you can?

Lisbon

You're thinking Mr. Skelling is innocent and we should release him. [Calls out to Cho] Cho.

Jane

That's amazing. That's exactly what I was thinking. How do you do that? Let me try. You're thinking, Jane is right, the man is innocent, we should let him go.

Lisbon

No. I think you want him to be innocent because his guilt would be too simple. He has a motive, opportunity and no alibi.

Jane

Yeah.

Lisbon

Any word on Skelling?

Rigsby

Couple potential sightings in the Mount Whitney area. Locals and park services are all over it. We'll get him

Jane

I doubt it. Skelling's in his element up there. His survivalist fantasy come true. He's gone aground like a grizzly bear.