The Looney Tunes Show Season 1 quotes

"Literacy" is the ability to read and write.

Ohhh! Then, count me in! "O-N" In!

Lola

A hundred thousand dollars!

Lola

Bun-Bun! I am back!

Lola?

Sold!

Lola

I am back in your life! At least for one day, but you cannot say no because it is for a good cause—littering!

So now let me get this straight. You fought in World War II?

Yep.

How old are you?

I will never tell.

Well, can you at least tell me if you are a boy or a girl?

Hmm, I was wrong.

What are you wearing?

Mall pants.

What kind of pants?

Mall pants, pants to wear the mall. It's a sign of respect.

Then why aren't you wearing a shirt?

Too much respect. It's a mall, not a church, also I can't afford a shirt.

Where do you get all your money?

I invented the carrot peeler.

You invented the carrot peeler?

Daffy, are you telling me you don't use toilet paper?

Mine was gonna be called "butt paper!"

(after the credits munching on his carrot) And that's the end.

[Deadpan] Can I help you?

Daffy Duck. I am here to pick up my business cards.

I really need to get a girlfriend.

Strike!

Where'd you get that?

Why didn't you tell me I have a bump on my beak?!

I never noticed a bump.

Do not patronize me. If there's something wrong with me that I don't know about, then you owe it to me, as my best friend, to tell me.

All right. You're narcissist. You're a sociopath. You're probably a psychopath. You're a...

Those are just quirks. Endearing quirks. I'm talking about something important. My appearance. And if you won't be honest with me, then I'll find someone who will. (He gives the toilet to Bugs) Here. Take this home for me. It's a really good toilet. (They walk out of the carpark)

(after the credits, she opens the WB shield-shaped door) Is this the bathroom?

(offscreen) NO! GO HOME!!

Lt. Riggs doesn't make it! He never sees Barbara again!

(after the credits) Th-h-h-h-h-That's all folk-(stomach rumbles). I knew I shouldn't have those artichoke p-p-p-poppers.

I bet you're a terrible husband and father!

Strike 3!

(laughs)

...And he's out!

(talking to Marvin and Daffy) And you two make the pizza. Any questions?

How do you make pizza?

(referring to Pete being in his dream) You were in it, but when you talked, you had a woman's voice.

Ooooh, did I sound pretty?

What's the order?

I think pizza.

You know what they say: starve a cold, feed a head injury.

Like pizza dough, we'll rise to the occasion.

Turns out the secret to a successful restaurant: a mouse.

Speedy

Tell that to the health department.

(stuttering) This whole time I've been eating pepperoni, I've been eating me!

Speedy

(after the end credits, taking off his sombrero) ¡Hasta luego, amigos!