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SEASON 1

The Looney Tunes Show · Season 1

The Looney Tunes Show Season 1 quotes

55 quotes · page 1 of 4

S1Best Friends

I did it! I got us on tomorrow's episode of "Besties!"

How'd you managed that?

There are some things you shouldn't know about me. But you better know everything else.

I'm more concerned with how little you know about me.

I know everything about you. Hit me with some questions. Go ahead.

Alright, what's my favorite color?

Pass.

What time do I go to bed at night?

Pass. Give me something easy.

Fine. When's my birthday?

January... February... Septem... December.... Jul... July! July 1st, July 2nd, July 3rd, July 4th. 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th!

27th.

July 27th! Well happy extremely belated birthday, or happy extremely early birthday.

S1Members Only

Bugs Bunny. Dumped. I have been their brother; you will never get over it. Let me buy you some golf clubs! Waiter, bring this man your finest set of golf clubs, and charge it to sixteen to seventy-three!

WWalter

Sixteen to seventy-three? That is my membership number! [comes up to Daffy, angrily, and punches him in the face]

Sounds like she likes you two going out again?

Could you drop that thing on me again?

Wait until you meet Pepe. He is the wedding planner for the R.O.G.O.O.O.C.C.

Can't you people just say country club?

PPepe

Lola, Mon Cheri. [kisses her on both cheeks; referring to Bugs] And this must be the lucky groom. [kisses him on both cheeks] Mm. So lucky. So, so lucky. Your wedding day is the single most important day of your life. I should know, I have been married seven times. Now, I am seeing an outdoor ceremony. You should feel the beauty of nature embracing you as you walk down the aisle. The smell of honeysuckle kissing your cheeks as you exchange your vows.

Ugh.

PPepe

There will not be a dry eye in the house.

I will be crying harder than anyone.

S1Jailbird and Jailbunny

A Thousand and One Grand Canyon Jokes. That's about a thousand more than I thought there were.

[Bugs and Daffy getting their mug shots]

GGuard

Name?

DAFFY DUCK.

GGuard

Crime?

CONTEMPT OF COURT!

GGuard

Name?

Bugs Bunny.

GGuard

Crime?

Well, some might say being too good looking. [Bugs poses as he would for a magazine cover while hip music plays] Nah, I'm just kidding. Contempt of court.

Can you keep it down?! I'm trying to sleep!

Well, I'm trying to read, and it's not easy with you tossing and turning.

You think I like having to share a bed with you?

At least in prison we weren't chained together. We had a whole cell to enjoy. Oh, cell block #5!

Well, you're no picnic, either! You think I enjoy listening to you wax nostalgic about your time in jail? Ha! And by the way, a prison nickname doesn't count, if you give it to yourself, dynamite!

You better watch it, Duck, because the fuse just got lit! [flexes his arm with a dynamite stick tattoo; Daffy spits his hand and wipes the tattoo off; gasps] How dare you! No one, and I mean no one, would do something that rude in prison! Now good night, Leopold.

Good night, Randy.

S1Fish and Visitors

What have I always say: don’t involve in your neighbor’s business. Before you know it, their business is your business.

S1Reunion

[Daffy Duck reads a letter until the Mailman comes by.]

MMailman

Um... What are you doing?

[Beat] reading a letter.

MMailman

That's not addressed to you.

Oh? Is that a crime?

MMailman

Yes! [snatches the letter away then gives him the mail] This is your mail.

Look. [tries to give Mailman the money] here's a twenty-spot if you give me back that letter.

MMailman

Bribing a governor official is also a crime. [the "twenty-dollar money" is revealed to be a paper with crayons drawn in it.] And is this counterfeit money?!

What?! You're going to tell me that's a crime, too?! [Gets close to his face] Last time I checked, I was living in America. Ooh! Look over there! [attempts to distract the Mailman to grab the letter only for him to get pepper sprayed. He screams in pain as the Mailman drives away.]

SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PEOPLE DO NOT LET ME READ YOUR MAIL?!

S1Casa De Calma

SJStarlett Johansson

Mmm. Good looking and great with kids?

And I cook too.

S1Devil Dog

S1The Foghorn Leghorn Story

Did you just call me a "no rooster?"

FLFoghorn Leghorn

What are you gonna do about it, huh, son? I say, what are you gonna do about it?

[Daffy viciously punches Foghorn in the face]

These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Looney Tunes Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.