Vikki Devyne quotes from The Life and Times of Juniper Lee

Vikki Devyne

Listen, darling, you pull this kind of stunt one more time and I'll personally come down there, tear your innards inside out and wear your ribcage like a hat! You understand me?! Good! Now, I love you, too, Daddy. Tell Momma hi. You must be Juniper. What brings you here?

Vikki Devyne

Oh, right, the Thompson boy. Nice kid. Didn't want to be a monster. I love to help people, I'm a real people person. It's really all about love. (speaks into her intercom headset) Bobby, where's my protein shake?! If it's not in here by the time I finish this sentence, you're fired! You're fired, fired! BRING ME MY SHAKE, AND NO BANANA!!!!

Vikki Devyne

Listen, sweetheart, I broke our packages. If I change one monster, I gotta change 'em all. It's an all-or-nothing deal. The kid initialed the contract.

Vikki Devyne

Listen, sweetheart, You seem like a nice kid and I'd really really like to help, but my hands are tied, and by that, I mean I don't want to! I work deals here, okay? If you had something I wanted, then maybe we'd be having a conversation.

Vikki Devyne

For starters, a protein shake that doesn't taste like an elephant's butt! AND I SAID NO BANANA!!!! (disintegrates Bobby, leaving his eyes bouncing away) There was a glorious protein shake that I used to get when I was just a little assistant agent demon in the underworld land of Quegara. I woulda taste that again.

Vikki Devyne

You got yourself a deal, sweetheart, but the offer expires at midnight. After that, the spell will be too powerful to overturn and those kids will be human forever.

Vikki Devyne

So I say to this chowderhead, I said--

Vikki Devyne

What is this?

Vikki Devyne

Okay, okay. A deal's a deal. I'll make the call. Shouldn't take more than a second. (calls a number as Juniper checks that it's almost midnight) Hi, sweetheart. Hey, Gary. How are ya? Great! Marsha and the kids? Oh, you aren't kidding. Oh, she did not! That's amazing for her age! My little one didn't take her--

Vikki Devyne

Right. Listen, sweetheart. You know the deal I made with the Thompson boy? Right, yeah, I need to reverse it. Okay, thanks, I'm sure. Dinner next weeks sounds fab. Oh, and if you're one minute late, I'll tear your eyes out. Bye-bye! (ends the call)