Thor quotes from The Life and Times of Juniper Lee

Thor

"ordering pity party of one please, your table is ready, tonight's special is an oven roasted fillet of poor me, served on a delightful bed of cry me a river."

Thor

Tremble in fear, demon cur! Thy hour of judgement hath come! Abandon all hope of mercy for the power of the hammer Mjolnir shall lay waste to all in my path!

Thor

By the twin giants' realm of Non and the raven claw of Nestor, cast down Odin's mighty hand and all thine evil plans to--

Thor

Sweetheart, call me T-Money. Oh, man! Forgive my manners. Have you met my new assistants, the Hammerettes?

Thor

Oh, well I was gonna totally destroy your school.

Thor

Oh, I totally can. Just watch (assembles Mjolnir to do that)

Thor

Oh. (laughs) Gotcha. My bad. Look, an enchanted Vindolf Hobgoblin escaped from the caves of Midgard and took refuge inside that building. If the creature contains freedom on Earth for a fortnight... Wait, a fortnight, that's, like, 3 days, right? No, or is that a thrightnight?

Thor

So anyway, after the Vindolf's, like, free for three full cycles of the moon and sun, it'll transform into a four-headed Hydra, which is virtually unstoppable, and that, doll, is bad news, which means your school has gotta go. (assembles Mjolnir to destroy the school)

Thor

Baby, you're, like, standing on Thor's hair.

Thor

(thinks about it) Deal. You got 3 days to snag us the Vindolf, or me and the ladies are gonna go mad dog on this joint. Now, get off my melon, you're scuffing the locks.

Thor

Okay, everyone who's bored, raise their hand. (he and all the Hammerettes raise their hands, so do the gorillas) Motion passed, it's official. Welcome to Boresville, population: us. What do you think we should do?

Thor

But, like, the deadline isn't up yet. (looks at the zoo brochure) I thought we could hit the reptile house. They got iguanas! I loves to see me some iguanas!

Thor

(blows Mjolnir) Sweet!

Juniper Lee

"Thanks for all your help. I hope we did not interrupt anything."

Thor

"Well, just book club. But it's ok,"...whispering: "I hadn't read it yet anyway, don't tell anybody."