Juniper Kim Lee quotes from The Life and Times of Juniper Lee

Juniper Lee

And this is not a baby, it's a three-ton monster sitting in our attic.

Juniper Lee

Oh, man! Monroe! I told you to keep an eye on him!

Juniper Lee

Monroe!

Juniper Lee

Yeah, love, Mom's photo album and our toilet!

Juniper Lee

He is in our furnished basement. There's wall-to-wall carpeting in a foosball table. I don't think Amnesty International is gonna protest. Now, he's on twenty-four hour watch, do not let him out of your sight.

Juniper Lee

Oh, huh, hey! Dennis, watcha doing there, big brother? (closes the door behind her)

Juniper Lee

(stops him) Oh! Okay, uh, I was just gonna go play video games in the den.

Juniper Lee

(deadpan tone) Oh, Dennis, stop. That's so unfair.

Juniper Lee

(deadpan tone) Oh, Dennis, please, come on, this isn't fair. When do I get a turn?

Juniper Lee

The TV, the pool table, the couches, the... (groans) He's eating our house one room at a time! (Hector burps loudly; groans) You aren't just bad luck, you're a menace!

Juniper Lee

Oh, please! How much worse can it get?

Juniper Lee

(observes from the window) And the hits just keep on coming.

Juniper Lee

Oh, great. First, this thing eats half of our house, and now he's got company dropping by? (groans) You are the worst house guest ever!

Juniper Lee

(as she appears on the roof) Hey, I've got an idea. How about I kick your butts and sell your outfits to biker chicks?

Juniper Lee

You gonna come to my house and mess with me?! Huh?! Huh?!