“Witness” quotes from The Golden Girls

Blanche

I remember growin' up in Atlanta, how all of us girls used to pretend to be Confederate belles and receive gentleman callers. It got to be like a competition. In fact, I once received seven callers in one evenin'.

Dorothy

I'm just thinking out loud, but, uh... isn't Atlanta where the Center for Disease Control is?

Blanche

Coincidence.

Blanche

I just don't know what I'm gonna do -- [walks into living room and sees Miles dressed in Amish attire] -- boy, you find out you're a Jew with a dilemma and these rabbis come out of the woodwork.

Dorothy

Rose...who is this?

Rose

Oh, this? This...this is...this is a friend...his name is Samuel Plankmaker. [to Miles] Samuel, these are my roommates. [to the others] Girls, you know Miles -- Samuel ! [grimaces] Shoot! Sorry...

Miles

I'm so sorry ladies, it's -- it's me! I was trying to play a trick on ya.

Sophia

Silly rabbi, tricks are for kids.

Dorothy

[indicating Sophia, who is wearing a pair of dark glasses with prescription lenses because she lost her regular glasses] Ladies and gentlemen, Roy Orbison! Ma, where did you get those glasses?

Sophia

They're an old pair of Pop's, but at least they've got prescription lenses.

Dorothy

I know you can't possibly see through them. Now take them off before you hurt yourself.

Sophia

No, they're great, I see just fine... [Indicating Blanche] who's the black guy?

Dorothy

Well, I hate telling you this, Blanche... no, that's not true, I look forward to telling you this, Blanche. The woman your great-grandfather married was born, well, outside of Georgia.

Blanche

How far outside of Georgia?

Dorothy

Buffalo. You're a Yankee, Blanche!

Blanche

Oh no, this can't be!

Dorothy

A Yankee Doodle.

Blanche

There must be some mistake!

Dorothy

You are that Yankee Doodle gal.

Dorothy

Oh, did I mention her last name was Feldman?

Blanche

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, that can't be. I can't be Jewish!

Sophia

I'll be damned, the black guy is prejudiced.