“Older and Wiser” quotes from The Golden Girls

Rose

Yeah Blanche, so what? So life threw the dumb country girl a crumb for once. I mean, you're sexy and beautiful all the time. Let's face it, you have Bette Davis eyes and Freddy Krueger hands.

Blanche

I have had it with you! I'm going into my room and may never come out. [Blanche storms off to her room]

Rose

Is it the weekend already?

Blanche

Oh, Rose, silly, silly, water-retaining Rose.

Sophia

[on why she takes her job at the nursing home seriously] Have you ever seen what happens to a person when their brain is allowed to disintegrate and their minds turn completely to mush?

Rose

Hey, my middle finger's the longest!

Blanche

Girls, what a glorious day! I just feel so pretty and alive, and young as a teenager!

Dorothy

Oh, that's terrific, Blanche. Oh, by the way, you got a phone call this morning from your grandson - he got his driver's license!

[pointing to an elderly gentleman in the nursing home who has his arm around a woman] And that's Smokey. He fancies himself a ladies' man. Sort of the rooster of our little henhouse. Whatever you do, don't dance with him, he'll put the moves on anybody.

Sophia

Smokey, I want you to meet my daughter---

Dorothy

MA!!!!

Dorothy

[reading the penny-saver ad, about which Rose and Blanche are very upset] "Does your face look like this? Do your hands look like this? You need Ponce de Leon Anti-Aging Cream!" [begins laughing hysterically, then notices Blanche and Rose glaring at her] I'd sue.

Blanche

[snatching penny-saver out of Dorothy's hand] Dorothy Zbornak, how could you?! Oh, look - they have airbrushed liver spots all over us!!!

Dorothy

Tell me about it. You guys look like you should be barking on the front seat of a fire engine! [clams up when she sees Blanche and Rose glaring at her again] I really would sue.