Bryan Dawe quotes from The Games

Gina Riley

We were flying in the face of one of the basic rules of food consumption.

Bryan Dawe

Which one?

Gina Riley

"Never eat in a Scottish restaurant."

Bryan Dawe

All of those trees we planted were uprooted and blown away in last week’s hailstorm.

John Clarke

I take it you’re not telling me this in order to demonstrate the awesome power of nature.

Bryan Dawe

I've had sponsors on the phone all day trying to screw extra value out of their deal.

John Clarke

Yes, thank you Bryan. Yes, yes, thank you very much Bryan.

Bryan Dawe

They want to know where every cent is going. Selfish pricks.

John Clarke

[Gesturing to camera operator] Perhaps you could just lose Bryan very, very slightly.

John Clarke

No, that's good.

Gina Riley

Are they paying us a lot of money, John?

John Clarke

I believe they are, Gina, yes. That's certainly the proposal.

Bryan Dawe

How much?

John Clarke

A shirtload, Bryan, I believe was the expression the Minister used. An absolute shirtload.

John Clarke

They're one of the biggest fast food franchises in the whole United States. Very popular with the young, Bryan, as their very amusing name might suggest.

Bryan Dawe

And do you know what they sell?

John Clarke

I'd go for donuts, but I'm pretty sure it's already taken. I'll have a crack at something else. Drinks.

You are Bryan Dawe?

Bryan Dawe

[Turning to judge] Can I have have a glass of water please?

Bryan Dawe

He's in the newspaper today.

John Clarke

Oh, not again! What's he done today? Give us a look

Bryan Dawe

Yesterday he christened a baby gorilla the the zoo.

John Clarke

Oh, yes. There's virtually no end to his capacity.

Gina Riley

He's the one on the left.

Bryan Dawe

These are the latest figures on the sponsorship shortfall.

Nicholas Bell

Situation.

Bryan Dawe

Sponsorship shortfall situation.

Nicholas Bell

Sponsorship situation.

Bryan Dawe

Sponsorship situation.