BCBarrie Cassidy
See that thing you're doing with your hands?
Yes.
BCBarrie Cassidy
Never do that.
Characters
John ClarkeJohn Clarke · 128 quotes
Gina RileyGina Riley · 51 quotes
Bryan DaweBryan Dawe · 38 quotes
Nicholas BellNicholas Bell · 16 quotes
LJLiz Jackson6 quotes
JJournalist4 quotes
JHJack HughesMatthew Green · 3 quotes
JHJasmine HoltLouise Siversen · 3 quotes
SMStaff Member3 quotes
Most scenes together: John Clarke & Gina Riley (36), John Clarke & Bryan Dawe (24), John Clarke & Nicholas Bell (11)
S1 E1The Press Conference
BCBarrie Cassidy
This is just a huge distraction, isn't it?
Pardon?
BCBarrie Cassidy
This is just a huge distraction.
Pardon?
Pardon?
Gina Riley Pardon?
BCBarrie Cassidy
Isn't this whole issue just a distraction?
Er ... sorry Barrie? Er ... yeah. It probably was.
Does anyone have any questions that don't have anything to do with lacrosse?
How much over budget are the Games at the moment?
Have we got any more lacrosse questions?
Is Mister ... "Costellopto" going to be coming?
Your budget figures seem to be blown to the shithouse.
Excuse me? That's a question is it, Shakespeare?
S1 E2Athletics Schedule
John, what is this amount here?
Where it says 'contingency'?
Yes.
It's a contingency.
Yeah. What's it for.
I don't know what it's for. If I knew what it was for, it wouldn't be a contingency. That's what a contingency is.
John, I know what a contingency is. I want to know what it's for.
Well, the opening ceremony. How the hell are we supposed to know how much the opening ceremony's going to cost, it hasn't happened yet!
John, why didn't you guess a hundred million?
A hundred million dollars?
Yeah.
It's a bloody opening ceremony Bryan, it's not global poverty!
John? John?
[To President Clinton on the telephone] Sorry to do this to you again, I'll be with you as soon as possible.
John, this contingency here is supposed to be in the bank account according to your figures.
You're still here.
It's not in the bank account!
Bryan, look, I don't want to worry you. I've got Juan Antonio Samaranch coming here in half an hour to see a swimming pool. We haven't even finished stage 1 on!
Appreciate that.
We've finished the water! I can show him the water! I've got the Premier out there now having a cup of coffee, I hope he doesn't drop it - he'll set fire to himself Bryan! I've got a very nice Mr Clinton on the blower here, I've not even had time to speak to him! I haven't got time to go pushme-pullyou with all this budgetary crap!
Are you serious? No-one is going to see the final of the 1500 metres? It's one of the most popular events we've got going! I mean, the only people not watching it, Gina, will be people who like watching synchonised drowning on channel six million and eight!
It's on at a quarter to four in the morning!
A quarter to four in the morning out here, sure, by all means! But that's not where the bloody audience for the event is!
But there's not going to be an audience! You're not going to get an audience! You've got the thing on in the middle of the bloody night!
That is the only place ON THE PLANET where it will be the middle of the night!
[Discussing the film Chariots of Fire]:
It's about this guy Anderson...
Abrahams.
... and he's competing in the 400 metres ...
100.
... in the Helsinki Olympics.
In Paris.
In 1932.
24.
And there's this other guy, Little.
Liddell.
S1 E3Funding
Eighty years of age. We would have had him kneecapped at forty.
Ah, one message! This is the Olympics and we have one message. The rest of the world has conducted its business while we slept and we have one message. Let's hear it world. How can we help you?
VOVoice on answering machine
... so if you could call back on that number at your earliest convenience Mr Clarke, I would be very grateful.
After the beep! AFTER the beep! Après le bloody beep!
You know what irritates me?
Pollen?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Games pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.