The Games · Season 2, Episode 5
“Inquiry” · Season 2, Episode 5
In this episode: John Clarke (7), Bryan Dawe (4), Nicholas Bell (2), Gina Riley (1)
I've had sponsors on the phone all day trying to screw extra value out of their deal.
Yes, thank you Bryan. Yes, yes, thank you very much Bryan.
They want to know where every cent is going. Selfish pricks.
[Gesturing to camera operator] Perhaps you could just lose Bryan very, very slightly.
[The camera pans off Bryan altogether]
No, that's good.
Are they paying us a lot of money, John?
I believe they are, Gina, yes. That's certainly the proposal.
How much?
A shirtload, Bryan, I believe was the expression the Minister used. An absolute shirtload.
Nicholas, this is very cloak and dagger. What do you want to do? Draw all the curtains? Why don't you turn the radio on? The Russians normally pop a bug in the lamp, don't they?
Well, I can't go and answer a whole lot of questions about a subject I know nothing about.
You know, it's actually easier. It's easier to answer questions on something that you don't know anything about.
I wouldn't even know how to begin to talk about art.
Well, you'll be alright then.
You've never been before an inquiry, have you, John?
No, Nicholas, and I've never been cleaning anything when it went off either.
Well, I can't go. I've already fronted the ticketing inquiry.
And didn't you go well, Nicholas. I'm surprised they don't want you back. You couldn't remember either end of any conversation you ever had and you didn't turn out to have kept any notes about anything.
Thank you, John. Yes, well, there's a way of doing these things, alright?
You got a round of applause at one stage for remembering your own name.
Thank you John. I will tell the Minister that you will be in touch when you've spoken to the barrister.
It was like watching a zeppelin fall out of the sky.
I want you to listen very carefully. If you're asked a question about what happened on a particular occasion and you don't want to answer, you say "I don't recall."
I don't recall.
Yes. And if you're asked if some event happened, you say "Not that I recall."
Not that I recall.
That's right. If you're asked whether something happened and it has been established that it did happen, you say "Not in my presence."
Not in my presence.
That's right. If you're asked any detail about anything, it means they think they've got you. You clam up, you say "Not to my knowledge.
Not to my knowledge.
That's right. And if you think you're about to reveal something, anything, you stop immediately, you turn to the judge and you say "Can I have a glass of water?"
Can I have a glass of water?
That's right.
God, it's no wonder the court system's going so well is it?
They're one of the biggest fast food franchises in the whole United States. Very popular with the young, Bryan, as their very amusing name might suggest.
And do you know what they sell?
I'd go for donuts, but I'm pretty sure it's already taken. I'll have a crack at something else. Drinks.
You are Bryan Dawe?
[Turning to judge] Can I have have a glass of water please?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Games pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
