Vanessa Huxtable quotes from The Cosby Show

Clair

Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.

Vanessa

Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.

Cliff

But not to the death!

Vanessa

I thought it over and I've decided I'm not taking off this sweater until you apologize for poking me in the shoulder.

Denise

I'm not apologizing.

Vanessa

Okay. [pokes Denise in the shoulder] We're even.

Denise

Hey, wait a minute. You're not even, you're still wearing my sweater.

Vanessa

Knock it off, Denise!

Denise

I don't have to.

Vanessa

You're just mad because this sweater looks better on me.

Denise

Yeah, right.

Vanessa

Don't shove me!

Denise

I can shove you any time I want to!

Vanessa

Is that right?!

Denise

Yeah, that's right!

Vanessa

Get off! Let go of me, Denise!

Denise

Let me-- LET GO-- LET GO OF MY HAIR VANESSA!!! LET GO! [Rudy is outside hearing the fight and Cliff and Clair rushes over]

Cliff

What's goin' on in there?

Rudy

Fight, fight!

Cliff

All right, now-- stop stop the two of you stop! Stop it! [Cliff falls over]

Rudy

[screaming] STOP IT!!!!!!!

Clair

All right, that's enough that's enough now stop, Denise and Vanessa, I said you better stop! Cliff, are you alright?

Cliff

They took me out.

Clair

Rudy, wait in my room please

Rudy

Do I have to?

Clair

Yes you do.

Rudy

Now.

Clair

Yes now.

Rudy

Oh boy.

Clair

I wanna know what's goin' on in here? [Denise and Vanessa talk at the same time] Wait a minute, wait a minute. Denise you go first.

Vanessa

Why does she get to go first?!

Clair

Because I said so!

Denise

She went into my closet and took the sweater: the one I said she couldn't have [Denise hits Vanessa and they keep fighting]

Clair

GIRLS, I SAID "STOP"!!! Stop it. Vanessa is this true?

Vanessa

Well---

Cliff

[Interrupting her] No, no, no, before you start to say "No" let me remind you that you are wearing the evidence?

Vanessa

Oh yeah. Well, mom she shoved me!

Denise

I shoved her because she took my sweater!

Clair

We have rules in this house: one of them is "We don't take things that don't belong to us" and the other one is "We don't try to kill each other", Denise, you may not drive your car for 2 days.

Denise

But mom!

Clair

Don't "But mom" me! Vanessa, you can't talk on the telephone for the next 2 days. Now give your sister her sweater back.

Cliff

And you will wear the same clothes for 2 days in a row!

Vanessa

Aw, come on, dad!

Clair

Come on, Vanessa, give your sister her sweater back. [Vanessa throws Denise's sweater at her]

Denise

Stop!

Clair

Give it back nicely.

Vanessa

I'm sorry, Denise.

Denise

Now I have to get it clean!

Clair

Okay, the money for the cleaning comes out of your allowance.

Vanessa

Yes, mom.

Clair

Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.

Vanessa

Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.

Cliff

Yeah, but not to the death!

Vanessa, that's a pretty name.

Vanessa

Thank you, Sir.

You're welcome, Madam.

Vanessa, that's a pretty name.

Vanessa

Thank you, Sir.

You're welcome, Madam.

Vanessa

Did Denise decide on a college while we were gone?

Clair

About a dozen times.

Vanessa

Did Denise decide on a college while we were gone?

Clair

About a dozen times.

Vanessa

Okay, here we go. "The Reptile Family." Sort of a who's who of snakes. [chuckles and give the book to Cliff]

Cliff

Okay, here we are. [opens the book to the first page]

Rudy

[immediately points to the page] THAT'S IT! [short pause] That's it!

Cliff

[in disbelief] This is the snake? [Rudy nods] That's an anaconda. It lives in Brazil.

Vanessa

Rudy, it's 25 feet long and weighs 200 pounds!

Rudy

That's what I saw.

Cliff

I don't think this snake lives in the United States.

Rudy

It could come for a visit.

Vanessa

Okay, here we go. "The Reptile Family." Sort of a who's who of snakes. [chuckles and give the book to Cliff]

Cliff

Okay, here we are. [opens the book to the first page]

Rudy

[immediately points to the page] THAT'S IT! [short pause] That's it!

Cliff

[in disbelief] This is the snake? [Rudy nods] That's an anaconda. It lives in Brazil.

Vanessa

Rudy, it's 25 feet long and weighs 200 pounds!

Rudy

That's what I saw.

Cliff

I don't think this snake lives in the United States.

Rudy

It could come for a visit.

Clair

Mmm, mmm,mmm, mmm. It is amazing what you can find when a person takes off her sunglasses.

Vanessa

Mom, I didn't mean to put on the make-up. But, all of a sudden all of this stuff was on my face. It was like temporary insanity!

Vanessa

I did it, I'm sorry and I should be punished.

Cliff

We know it, we accept, and you will be.

Vanessa

You were saying that in life you must always move forward.

Robert

Yes, but I was hoping we could move forward together.

Vanessa

We will...as friends.

Robert

[sadly] Okay, I hear what you're saying.

Vanessa

And who knows what the future holds. Maybe I'll feel differently in time.

Robert

Vanessa?

Vanessa

Yeah?

Robert

Would it speed things up if I begged?

Rudy

Smoking's not good for you. It makes your breath stink, it gets your lungs dirty, and then you die. Smoking also causes forest fires, which is why you never see animals smoke.

Vanessa

I think she gets the point, Rudy.

Rudy

None of MY friends smoke!

Vanessa

Wait, Theo said that when you caught him and Cockroach smoking, you yelled so loud you cracked the walls.

Cliff

Yeah, because those two fools were upstairs smoking, I knock on the door and they say, Just a minute! Just a minute', Just a minute please! so I open the door. They go 'Hi dad!' and 'Hi Dr. Huxtable', they've tossed the cigarettes under the bed still lit! Smoke's coming up, I ask a dumb question, I say 'have you been smoking?' they go 'Oh no' and smoke's coming out the side of their mouths, I say what's that? They say 'Oh well we were trying this very strong beef jerky'. They're lucky I didn't crack more than the walls by yelling.

Vanessa

Would you like to do me a really big favor?

Theo

No.

Vanessa

Oh, come on Theo. You owe me a favor. Remember the time when you wanted to buy that yo-yo that lights up in the dark? I was the one that lent you the 75 cents.

Theo

That was three years ago Vanessa.

Vanessa

Here you go, Mom. I brought you some warm milk and cookies.

Clair

Thank you, sweetheart.