Cliff Huxtable quotes from The Cosby Show

[who is in the doghouse with Clair] I'd really like to talk to Clair.

Cliff

Alright, but just remember. You don't have me to block for you any more.

Clair

Let's call Theo.

Cliff

Okay, on the count of three: one, two, three!

Cliff

I'm all yelled out.

Clair

Cliff, do you think any of them will ever come up and check on us?

Cliff

I don't think so, dear. I think they've got us right where they want us.

Clair

How are we going to get the water?

Cliff

I'll get it. Gimme some help.

Clair

Cliff?

Cliff

Hm?

Clair

Are you okay?

Cliff

Yes, dear. I'm just gonna take a little nap.

Cliff

Do you have to hammer?

I don't HAVE to...but I wouldn't feel right getting paid for just standing here.

You mean Clair lets you eat potato chips?

Cliff

Lets me eat potato chips!?! I'm a man, I'll eat what I want!

Cliff

These hamburgers are too big for the kids, so if you could take them back...

And you want me to cover them in ketchup, mustard and pickles and squeeze them into regular hamburger buns.

Cliff

Yes!

Say no more, I have three kids myself, they don't like to eat here either.

Cliff

These are your degrees from Princeton.

Elvin

Yes.

Cliff

Fell down.

Elvin

Yes.

Cliff

Rather symbolic, don't you think?

Cliff

These are your degrees from Princeton.

Elvin

Yes.

Cliff

Fell down.

Elvin

Yes.

Cliff

Rather symbolic, don't you think?

Cliff

Hey! You forgot the water heater! Hey! Hey! The water heater!

Rudy

Hi.

Cliff

Hey.

Rudy

You look sad.

Cliff

It wouldn't take the water heater away.

Rudy

I'm sorry.

Cliff

What's the matter with you?

Rudy

I'm little. When you're little you're nothing.

Cliff

So you're nothing?

Rudy

I am a big nothing.

Cliff

Hey! You forgot the water heater! Hey! Hey! The water heater!

Rudy

Hi.

Cliff

Hey.

Rudy

You look sad.

Cliff

It wouldn't take the water heater away.

Rudy

I'm sorry.

Cliff

What's the matter with you?

Rudy

I'm little. When you're little you're nothing.

Cliff

So you're nothing?

Rudy

I am a big nothing.

Cliff

Hey, I'm going down to the novelty shop to pick up something for Rudy's haunted house party.

Clair

What are you getting?

Cliff

Well, I don't know, but I mean, you know, I am the master of fright.

Clair

You just remember that they're children.

Cliff

No, no, I'll take it easy on them. Hee hee hee hee.

Clair

Oh, Jeffrey Engels called. He's gonna be over here in an hour.

Cliff

Clair. It's past 7 a.m., dear.

Clair

So?

Cliff

Well, you have to go to work.

Clair

I quit.

Cliff

No, you're a partner in the law firm. Hit it.

Clair

I'll be a silent partner.

Cliff

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Stop that.

Rudy

What?

Cliff

What? Haven't you ever heard of a glass?

Rudy

But, Daddy, I'm in a hurry. I'm going to Mrs. Hickson's house to play go fish.

Clair

[Talking to Vanessa and Theo] Just go wait in the car.

Cliff

No wait under the car.

Clair

[Talking to Vanessa and Theo] Just go wait in the car.

Cliff

No wait under the car.

Cliff

There you go. Hit your little machine.

Theo

All right, well, my computer says that I counter your move with bishop to knight 3.