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7 SEASONS

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The Closer quotes

394 quotes · page 23 of 27

The Closer
All S1 S2 S3 S4 S5 S6 S7

S4 E4Live Wire

I've got to tell you, Brenda, I am so sick of this double standard.

What double standard?

You sent me on a needless and very expensive stakeout, you undermined three years of hard work, and if I had done anything remotely similar to that, if I had screwed with your case, my God, you would have changed the locks on the doors. I would have been so far out of line, but here is the difference: I would know it and I would try to correct it somehow.

Now wait a minute! Just hold on! I never lied to you. I gave you exactly what you asked for. Exactly! Now, I'm sorry. I should have called you when we took Dean into custody, so I apologize for that.

That. That's what you're sorry for?

Yes.

Really. That's it? Apology not accepted. [turns and walks away]

[chases after Fritz until he stops] Now, wait a minute! All I did -- all I did was try to get the justice system to work for my victim! That is all I did!

That is bullshit! You didn't do it for the justice system! You didn't do it for the victim! You did it to close your case! That's it! It's obviously the most important thing to you. It's clearly not me, and you know, maybe that's fine, but Brenda for once in your life be honest with yourself!!

S4 E5Dial M for Provenza

I can't decide what's more nauseating: her trying to kill her husband or watching her come on to Provenza. Chief, we have guns, we can stop this.

Well, congratulations, lieutenant.

[facetiously] Yeah, I know, you're thrilled. I just dropped by to tell you that I am never going to retire. Ever.

Why?

Look. I'm not going to tell you I'm Charlie Hustle. The only thing I chase these days are women who have had a few drinks.

Okay.

But if you want to save a couple of bucks out of our division by trading my experience for a rookie?! I have a civil service job, and the only way that I am going to leave the Los Angeles Police Department is if I get shot, have a heart attack and then you run me over! After which, I will consider a disability position.

But you really still haven't told me why.

When my first wife and I divorced, I agreed to split my pension with her from the day I retire. I'll be damned if she gets a nickel.

That I understand.

Really?

I made a distressingly similar agreement with my first wife. You do realize that I may eventually be forced to put you in some crappy desk job.

Then expect me to die with a stapler in my hand.

S4 E6Problem Child

You want to call off the critical missing?

This kid, Sergei, has an extensive juvenile record and a history of running away. It appears that his father punished him, not unjustly, and the boy ran off in the middle of the night.

If we investigated everything based on appearances we'd have a whole lot less to do.

What makes a child go bad, nature or nurture?

Unfortunately, chief, by the time we get involved it really doesn't matter.

S4 E7Sudden Death

RRRicardo Ramos

So, to me it seems like the only way a murder case gets treated as a priority by the L.A.P.D. is if you're rich, white, or related to a cop.

Can I read the articles about these murders?

RRicardo

Excuse me?

Front-page articles that your paper wrote about these boys?

RRicardo

Well, that's still a work in progress...

So, the only way a murder gets treated like a priority at your paper is if it happens to someone rich, or white, or related to a cop.

RRicardo

That's your response?

No, it's a question. You can dodge it if you like. You certainly have the right to remain silent.

S4 E8Split Ends

If I hear one more mention of weddings or chapels, I swear I am going to kill someone.

They're just excited. That's all.

No, no, no. You don't understand my daddy. When he wants something he will not stop until he gets it. Trust me on this.

So it runs in the family then.

Ha. Ha.

RHRyan Hughes

Rachel was murdered trying to help someone else?

Yes, she was. And now, to finish up here, on behalf of the entire LAPD, allow me to say how sorry I am that you lied to us so much and that you knocked your wife around to such an extent that we considered you a suspect in her murder.

RHRyan Hughes

That's your apology?

[nods] Mm-hmm.

RHRyan Hughes

You people have no idea what I'm going through, do you. Excuse me. [exits Pope's office]

I'd still like to arrest him.

Odds are, one day you will.

S4 E9Tijuana Brass

Bless me father, for I have sinned.

FDFr. Donahue

How long has it been since your last confession?

Well, I almost got one last night.

S4 E10Time Bomb

This is ridiculous. You all had no right to haul me off of that crime scene like a sack of potatoes!

(exasperated) Look, Chief, you get upset with us when we break the rules, you get upset with us when we follow the rules. Now, if you wanna beef us for getting you out of the middle of a bomb scene, be my guest!

Lieutenant, what just happened?

The explosives on Mellman were unstable so they had to be BIP'd.

Wha...?

BIP... Blown in place.

So where's my victim?

My guess is he's probably all over the ceiling.

JMJohn McFadden

You keep on reducing this to some miniscule high school shooting, but it's SO much more than that! I'm talking about setting the record; killing the most people ever! It's about inspiring others. Columbine was a great idea, they just didn't execute it right. We will. And people will remember us as they line up to die.

S4 E11Good Faith

I hope we find a proper place for y'all to get married before we have to get on that ship. Brenda Leigh always lets things slide till the very last minute. I wish she'd take more of an interest in all this.

Oh, she's very interested, Willie Rae. For example, look at how hard she's been searching for the right cake.

[camera pans down to eight cake samples]

CClay

If that girl had her way, she'd ask the minister to stop by a crime scene, then serve Ho-Hos out of her purse.

Two patrol officers from the Hollywood division wrote up a suicide last Sunday. Morales calls back from the morgue, says the guy was murdered.

Hollywood Homicide detectives didn't follow up?

Did you not hear the words "suicide" and "Sunday"?

These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Closer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.