David Gabriel quotes from The Closer

Gabriel

So, you guys all heard, right? About the, uh, IA investigation?

Provenza

What IA Investigation?

Gabriel

An anonymous complaint against Deputy Chief Johnson. Conduct unbecoming. Anybody here know anything about that?

Gabriel

Let's suppose I have no specific knowledge as to who filed the complaint. Suppose I were just to discuss the charge of conduct unbecoming an officer on its merits because Internal Affairs is going to ask me about it. And I'm going to answer them.

Taylor

And your response will be...?

Gabriel

I'm going to tell them that I've observed Deputy Chief Johnson on every case that she's worked and that I think that the charges against her are small-minded, petty, and malicious, and that I'm ashamed of whoever may have filed them. That's what I'm going to tell them.

Taylor

[Laughing] You feel better now? You feel righteous, all puffed up?

Gabriel

No, sir. I feel sick to my stomach. If you'll excuse me, I'm investigating a murder, Sir.

Gabriel

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Brenda

I don't know. What are you thinking?

Gabriel

I'm thinking that no one could have gotten from here to Pruitt's house and back in under an hour. I mean there were shows at the Greek and Hollywood Bowl. It would have been bumper to bumper for miles. Is that what you were thinking?

Brenda

No. I was thinking about the subway.

Gabriel

Oh, yeah. We got a subway.

Hey, whoa. Why don't you people just wait in the living room?

Gabriel

Hey, first of all we're not "you people", we're Los Angeles police, and when we show up unexpectedly, it's not because we have a problem, it's because you do. Now I suggest you step aside and be quiet.

If you're gonna treat me like a criminal, shouldn't I have an attorney?

Brenda

Oh, we'd get in such trouble if we gave legal advice. I was trying to get you in and out, but if having a lawyer would make you feel more comfortable, you just call one, and we'll wait. That's the nice thing about working for the government. You get paid for just being here.

That's how you're treating Tim's death? As an overtime opportunity?

Brenda

Well, I was going to ask you some questions ...

What do you think I could know?

Brenda

Well, I'm not sure, ma'am. But there was a third person in that warehouse and we're trying to figure out who that could've been. I'm only bringing it up because you were the first person to report him missing, and you are licensed to carry a handgun.

And I carry a handgun because it is my constitutional right to do so. And I have an ex who is also a cop and likes to drive by my house sometimes at night and flash his brights in my window. He even knocked on the door at Tim's one night. Drunk.

Brenda

Are you talking about Lawrence Xavier?

I am.

Gabriel

If he intimidated you, why didn't you report him?

Because Tim talked me out of it. He said he'd put a stop to it, and he did. And I only got one more call from Lawrence complaining about how much money he had wasted on our dates. So I sent him a check for $1,000 by messenger and y'know what? He cashed it, too. A------.

If you're gonna treat me like a criminal, shouldn't I have an attorney?

Brenda

Oh, we'd get in such trouble if we gave legal advice. I was trying to get you in and out, but if having a lawyer would make you feel more comfortable, you just call one, and we'll wait. That's the nice thing about working for the government. You get paid for just being here.

That's how you're treating Tim's death? As an overtime opportunity?

Brenda

Well, I was going to ask you some questions ...

What do you think I could know?

Brenda

Well, I'm not sure, ma'am. But there was a third person in that warehouse and we're trying to figure out who that could've been. I'm only bringing it up because you were the first person to report him missing, and you are licensed to carry a handgun.

And I carry a handgun because it is my constitutional right to do so. And I have an ex who is also a cop and likes to drive by my house sometimes at night and flash his brights in my window. He even knocked on the door at Tim's one night. Drunk.

Brenda

Are you talking about Lawrence Xavier?

I am.

Gabriel

If he intimidated you, why didn't you report him?

Because Tim talked me out of it. He said he'd put a stop to it, and he did. And I only got one more call from Lawrence complaining about how much money he had wasted on our dates. So I sent him a check for $1,000 by messenger and y'know what? He cashed it, too. A------.

Brenda

I can't believe I left my mother with Fritz for the whole day.

Gabriel

She'll be fine.

Brenda

I'm not worried about my mother.

Brenda

I can't believe I left my mother with Fritz for the whole day.

Gabriel

She'll be fine.

Brenda

I'm not worried about my mother.

Brenda

Oh, for heaven's sake, it is a head. Oh, my Lord, I found some feet!

Do these feet go with this head?

Gabriel

I sure hope so. 

Brenda

[after throwing up] ... dirty diapers in that trash over there...

Gabriel

yeah, because there's nothing else around here to make a person sick. [looking at the decapitated head and feet]

Brenda

I don't want to here another word about you and Daniels, ok? Just ... keep it to yourself. [Referring to the news of Gabriel and Daniels dating]

Brenda

Oh, for heaven's sake, it is a head. Oh, my Lord, I found some feet!

Do these feet go with this head?

Gabriel

I sure hope so. 

Brenda

[after throwing up] ... dirty diapers in that trash over there...

Gabriel

yeah, because there's nothing else around here to make a person sick. [looking at the decapitated head and feet]

Brenda

I don't want to here another word about you and Daniels, ok? Just ... keep it to yourself. [Referring to the news of Gabriel and Daniels dating]

Gabriel

Something's bothering me a little.

Brenda

What's that, sergeant?

Gabriel

This whole CIA thing. I don't know how much I trust them. How I feel about the people who work there, you know?

Brenda

I know. It's a gray area. I remember once hearing a speech about what it meant to be on officer of the CIA, and the man who gave this speech talked about the struggle to control civilization and how we're always fighting the same fight and he used the Dark Ages as an example. And he talked about how on one side you had the pragmatic king who was greedy and power hungry and basically took advantage of people whenever he could. And on the other side you had the idealistic church, forcing everyone to follow the same rules, have the same beliefs and all that. Neither the king or the church was ever completely right or wrong, both sides ended up doing terrible things to get what they wanted. Really terrible things. But the point of the story was this: that this struggle from the Dark Ages had been going on forever, and the church and the king might take on different forms and philosophies, but they would always fight each other, pragmatist and idealist, and that most times you're better off standing on the sidelines and letting them duke it out. But every once in a while one side or the other decides it might be better to just blow up the whole world just to get its own way, and when that happens you can't stand on the sidelines anymore. You have to pick a team. And so for tonight, anyway, we're serving the king.

Gabriel

Something's bothering me a little.

Brenda

What's that, sergeant?

Gabriel

This whole CIA thing. I don't know how much I trust them. How I feel about the people who work there, you know?

Brenda

I know. It's a gray area. I remember once hearing a speech about what it meant to be on officer of the CIA, and the man who gave this speech talked about the struggle to control civilization and how we're always fighting the same fight and he used the Dark Ages as an example. And he talked about how on one side you had the pragmatic king who was greedy and power hungry and basically took advantage of people whenever he could. And on the other side you had the idealistic church, forcing everyone to follow the same rules, have the same beliefs and all that. Neither the king or the church was ever completely right or wrong, both sides ended up doing terrible things to get what they wanted. Really terrible things. But the point of the story was this: that this struggle from the Dark Ages had been going on forever, and the church and the king might take on different forms and philosophies, but they would always fight each other, pragmatist and idealist, and that most times you're better off standing on the sidelines and letting them duke it out. But every once in a while one side or the other decides it might be better to just blow up the whole world just to get its own way, and when that happens you can't stand on the sidelines anymore. You have to pick a team. And so for tonight, anyway, we're serving the king.

Gabriel

This isn't the way to Lompoc.

Brenda

No, we're going to the airport.

Gabriel

We're taking the L.A.P.D. plane? I thought you were supposed to be saving money.

Brenda

No, Sergeant, we're supposed to be finding a murderer and we are not doing it in the carpool lane.