Brenda Leigh Johnson quotes from The Closer

Brenda

Lieutenant Flynn, your resignation surprised me most of all. The whole time I've been here, you've never said one complimentary thing about or to me.

Flynn

Chief, you have really great legs.

Brenda

Are you wearing your gun?

Fritz

[smiles] Yeah.

Brenda

Can I have it?

Fritz

What's wrong with yours?

Brenda

Well, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm off duty. So, would you let me borrow yours? For a minute, please? [Fritz hands her his sidearm] Could it really be that simple? [aims at mirror] Bang.

Fritz

What are you doing?

Brenda

Trust me... Trust me. [crouches down] Now walk towards me like you're trying to find out what I'm doing.

Fritz

[still smiling] I am trying to find out what you're doing.

Brenda

["aims" hairbrush at Fritz] Bang. See? That's how I shoot Barak with Martin's gun, and then I shoot Martin with Barak's. That's how. 'Cause he knew Barak was coming. That's how. [kisses him] That's how.

Hubbard

[agitated] I'm his father! Charlie's my son! I taught him how to walk! And I taught him how to read! And I taught him... I've been with him through seven surgeries and 38 procedures! And where was the great Tim Martin when it mattered, huh? Huh? Where was he? When Charlie's life was on the line? Where was he? Where was Tim Martin?

Brenda

I don't know, Det. Hubbard. But I know where he is now. I saw his brains splattered all over the floor of an abandoned warehouse while his body was being eaten by flies, and I can't help but think you may have overreacted.

Hubbard

You can't. You can't tell Charlie about him, this, you won't do that.

Brenda

I can and I will.

Taylor

Hey, hey, hey. Write it all down and we'll get you a deal from the D.A.

Brenda

You can wear a bracelet and stay with Charlie until his illness...resolves itself.

Brenda

Good morning, Det. Xavier, and the elusive Mr. Cohen. Here you are! So kind of you to join us.

Ari

I was dragged here against my will, and all I'm going to do is plead the Fifth.

Brenda

You can't plead the Fifth.

Ari

I can't?

Brenda

It would be a violation of the agreement you made with the D.A. to be a cooperating witness. So if you plead the Fifth, I'll arrest you as an accomplice in a double-homicide. So please, Mr. Cohen, do take a seat.

Capt. Leahy

Ma'am, I want to note you've used your investigation to smear Tim Martin's reputation and in this department that's just not the way we play ball.

Brenda

Well, Captain, if you don't like the way I'm doing things, you're free to take your balls and go straight home.

Brenda

Did you make the match?

Tao

Any minute.

Brenda

You don't have it?

Tao

It's coming.

Brenda

Lt. Tao, I need to start this interview, and if you don't finish I could be up a nasty-smelling creek without a paddle!

Tao

Just go slow. As soon as the match comes through I'll bring it directly to Gabriel. [Hands her two small chocolate-covered eclairs] Here. For all our sakes. Please.

Brenda

[accepts them] Thank you.

Brenda

[looks at phone as it's ringing, sighs] How do they always know? [answers it] Hi Mama. How are you?...I'm good. I'm at work, but I have a minute. Is everything all right?... [Fritz enters] Great Aunt Who? Mama, is this someone I've even met?...No, I just ran upstairs and I'm out of breath. ... I don't know where Santa Clarita is.

Fritz

It's just north of here.

Brenda

[shushes him] Alright, I'll send her a get well card or something. Can you spell the last name? E-U-L-E-S-S...Mama, I have never met this woman before in my life, I swear...Well, what's wrong with her?...Oh for heaven's sake. If she's been in a coma for two years, how much worse can she get?...Look, I can't talk about this right now because I'm about to, um, interview a serial killer who just stabbed 30 people to death. Alright, alright. OK. Bye!

Hubbard

I'd heard Xavier had an alibi.

Brenda

Oh, it'd fall apart in a dryer.

Taylor

Chief Johnson?

Brenda

Yes?

Taylor

I just want to make sure I understand why you're bringing Det. Xavier back in?

Brenda

I want to question him.

Taylor

Why?

Brenda

Because I need more answers.

Taylor

Did you ever ask him where he was last Saturday morning when the murders were committed? Because I looked into it, and he was at home, on the phone for two hours.

Brenda

Well, his line was busy. That doesn't mean he was on it.

Taylor

I'm trying to help you here, Chief. Xavier has an excellent record, and yes, Tim Martin, he might have been a womanizer, but if you can't tell how much people respected him around here, you're not looking.

Brenda

Trust me. I see it.

Taylor

If you end up smearing a man who gave his life to the badge ...

Brenda

I have factored your concerns into how I'm dealing with this case. Anything else commander?

Taylor

No ma'am. Just trying to be of assistance.

If you're gonna treat me like a criminal, shouldn't I have an attorney?

Brenda

Oh, we'd get in such trouble if we gave legal advice. I was trying to get you in and out, but if having a lawyer would make you feel more comfortable, you just call one, and we'll wait. That's the nice thing about working for the government. You get paid for just being here.

That's how you're treating Tim's death? As an overtime opportunity?

Brenda

Well, I was going to ask you some questions ...

What do you think I could know?

Brenda

Well, I'm not sure, ma'am. But there was a third person in that warehouse and we're trying to figure out who that could've been. I'm only bringing it up because you were the first person to report him missing, and you are licensed to carry a handgun.

And I carry a handgun because it is my constitutional right to do so. And I have an ex who is also a cop and likes to drive by my house sometimes at night and flash his brights in my window. He even knocked on the door at Tim's one night. Drunk.

Brenda

Are you talking about Lawrence Xavier?

I am.

Gabriel

If he intimidated you, why didn't you report him?

Because Tim talked me out of it. He said he'd put a stop to it, and he did. And I only got one more call from Lawrence complaining about how much money he had wasted on our dates. So I sent him a check for $1,000 by messenger and y'know what? He cashed it, too. A------.

Brenda

We'll talk about this...all this...later...this evening or something...

Fritz

This reluctance of yours, it has nothing to do with what's going on with Pope, does it?

Brenda

What's going on with Pope?

Fritz

His wife served him with divorce papers last Friday. You didn't know?

Brenda

No.

Fritz

What do you do for a living again?

Brenda

I can manage this. You look tired. Why don't you head on home?

Pope

[Rolls eyes] Please don't use the techniques you employ in there [pointing to the Interrogation Room] on me. Something you'd like to know, ask me.

Brenda

Well, I didn't think it was any of my business. I just...I heard you were getting a divorce, that's all.

Pope

I'm not getting a divorce. Estelle's getting a divorce. The job, the hours. She's seeing someone else. They're getting married. So no alimony. She doesn't want our kids because he doesn't want them. So there's that. And y'know, at some point it will...stop hurting and I'll just...hate her and go on with my life.

Brenda

[to Fritz, on the subject of their moving in together] There are all these problems that would have to be worked out.

Fritz

Like ... like what?

Brenda

Like gettin' a new phone, for one thing, because you couldn't answer mine when my parents called.

Fritz

That really isn't a ... problem ...

Brenda

And I can be just impossible.

Fritz

I like that you're impossible sometimes.

Brenda

Well, what if you stopped? Stopped liking me?

Fritz

If I was gonna stop liking you, I would have done it already.

Brenda

Good. Well, look, I haven't had a lot of success living with guys, and it could just ruin everything.

Fritz

Yes, but if, uh, we're trying to sort of become closer, more like full partners, living together would give us a chance to see what that would be like.

Brenda

Lt. Provenza, are you eatin' chocolate in here?

Provenza

[With a guilty look] Sorry.

Brenda

I thought we'd agreed to keep snacks with processed sugar out of the murder room. If y'all have to have candy please do so in the hallways or the electronics room. Or you could try givin' it up. Since I stopped eatin' all that crap I have more energy. And I'm sleepin' better too.

Flynn

What about nuts?

Brenda

Excuse me?

Flynn

Are my nuts allowed in here?

Brenda

Do they have sugar on them, Lieutenant?

Flynn

No, they're salty.

Brenda

Well, there's your answer, then.

Pope

[into cellphone, presumably with Estelle] You could've told me about it in person. In advance. Yeah, I can't talk about this now, I'm sorry you feel that way, but we've just lost a 15-year veteran in a shootout and that's actually more important than you are at the moment. [clicks off] Leahy, is it true your men were circulating 100 flyers of some guy who was not connected to the crime?

Leahy

I got 98 of them back, sir.

Pope

And where is Det. Martin's partner?

Leahy

Det. Xavier is waiting in Cmdr. Taylor's officer with the murder book and the informant packet.

Pope

So unless you'd like to start collecting your pension tomorrow, Central had better back off and allow Priority Homicide do its job. You're dismissed.

Brenda

Captain, I'm so sorry, but we're gonna need all of these flyers, because otherwise ...

Pope

That's good enough for me. Ninety-eight percent is fine. Go on Captain. (Leahy leaves)

Brenda

You understand that this is not a picture of the informant Det. Martin was working with.

Pope

I don't want to talk about this anymore. [closes door] You left a police officer lying next to the man who shot him, and that is never done.

Brenda

The reason I left Det. Martin lying there is that police officers are trained to fire in bursts. And Martin only put one shot into Barak. One. And the bodies were lying close together. Too close. And what was Martin doing there in the first place? Now, he and Det. Xavier were working with an undercover informant and I need to question him.

Pope

You can't release the informant's name to law enforcement.

Brenda

Well, how am I supposed to talk to him, Will? What if he's not just ... just waitin' by the phone?

Pope

Why is it you can never do your job without constantly complaining about everything? The informant was guaranteed anonymity. [calms down] You can release his name to one other member of your squad and that's it. Now I've upheld your authority with the entire department looking on. But when a police officer is killed, we expect closure quickly and completely. Is that clear?

Brenda

Yes it is. Your attitude, however, is a complete mystery.