The Boys · Season 1
Who's this guy?
The new lad, Hughie. Hughie, Mother's Milk.
That's a… nickname?
[sarcastically] No, my mother actually named me "Mother's Milk".
Did–Did she?
So we got a French whore and a Stephen fucking Hawking. Great job, Butcher.
Well, it was Stephen fuckin' Hawking who dusted the Supe.
So Translucent, huh? How the fuck did you pull that off?
I don't know. Just lucky, I guess.
Still… Must've been scary.
You wanna know what's really messed up? It's, uh, in some ways just right in that moment, it felt kinda good.
It's written all over your face, Hughie.
What? How can you tell?
'Cause I know how this job makes me feel.
When I had that detonator in my hand, I felt like a–I felt like a rush.
I get it.
Like, I felt alive.
But that rush, Hughie, is no different than the shit A-Train shoots up. Everything comes with a price.
[beat] The last thing I ever said to Robin… was, "Don't you ever besmirch Billy Joel." That was the last thing that she heard before she burst into pieces. And I gotta live with that shit for the rest of my life. [pause] The price… Whatever it is, I'll pay it.
Let's hear it for my buddy, A-Train! Am I right?
[Homelander smiles and waves at the cheering crowd]
[laughs; under his breath] Alright... You fucking cocksuckers.
[Hughie and Annie sit down together after he finds out that she's Starlight]
This is just so weird. I mean, the other day–Was it three days ago?
Mm-hmm.
You just seemed like… You seemed so normal, you know? And now, it's just–
Now I'm a freak.
No. No, not–No, that's not what I meant at all. I just meant–I just wasn't getting Beyoncé vibes, but… [Annie laughs] Not that you don't have that–
I'm messing with you.
Okay.
You know… it was really nice to talk to someone who didn't know who I was. Once you're behind the scenes, it's… it's different.
Like how?
I don't know if they really want you to be a hero. I think they just want you to look like one.
[Hughie turns off his radio so Butcher doesn't eavesdrop on their conversation]
The other day on the bench when you were talking about how much you hated your job, you meant… you meant this job? [Annie nods] Then, um… Just quit. Just walk away. I mean, you got nothing to prove.
[beat] I should probably get back, you know, before they send a search party for me.
Yeah, totally. Um, listen, Annie… Starlight? What do you, uh–
Annie.
This is insane, but uh–I know you're you and everything, but if you ever just wanted to, you know, get–
Would you like my number?
[pause] Yeah. Yeah, that's–that's, uh… That's what I was asking.
Okay.
Do I call you, or do I just commit a crime?
Probably committing a crime would get me to you quicker.
Remind me, what was our deal?
What?
What was our fuckin' deal?
Go to hell. I already told you, A-Train runs the Compound…
Yeah, runs the Compound V to the noodle shop up on Division. We've been up on it all week and we ain't seen fuck all.
Well, wherever he's going, it's around there. Because every time he leaves with the V, he comes back with the sesame noodles! That's all I know!
Well, you'd better be right, love, or you and your dearly departed landlord are gonna find yourselves on Pornhub in the fatal cunnilingus section.
[Butcher meets up with the rest of the Boys after Frenchie frees the Female from her armed captors. He inspects a Compound V needle that M.M. found]
So A-Train's runnin' it here, and these blokes are dosin' the Asian bird with it.
Yeah, back when they had eyeballs.
Yeah, but why? Is it a Vought thing or, like, a side hustle?
[shows Butcher a paper bag] Came gift-wrapped in this.
Find out where it came from.
I'll shake a few trees.
Why the hell were they dosin' her?
[points at Frenchie] Why don't we ask Foie Gras over here? He's the one that let her out.
She looked innocent.
Innocent? She's locked up in a cage underground with two armed guards?
I had a feeling about her.
Nah, Frenchie. You just didn't follow the plan. You never follow the plan, man.
You need to unclench your asshole.
You need to eat my clenched asshole.
Why are you two carryin' on like a bunch of fuckin' twats? We're sniffin' down a shit sandwich the size of Watergate. Vought and the Supes are both gonna be lookin' for her. All we gotta do is find the Female first.
[Butcher notices Hughie looking at his cell phone]
Keep lookin'. [to Hughie] Who's that, then, eh?
It's nobody.
[Butcher gestures for Hughie to hand him his phone. He scrolls through Hughie's text messages.]
"Annie?" Starlight?
Yeah, it's nothing. I mean, we were supposed to go on a date. Not a date. Just, she asked me if I wanted to ask her for her number, and then we just kinda platonically exchanged information, but the… the word "date" was never mentioned.
Call her back right now. You're fuckin' goin'.
As a rule, I don't usually go out after a gory massacre.
Listen, here's the job. You're gonna hot mic her phone. From now on, we hear everything she says. I mean, this is a golden opportunity. And after all you done, piece of cake.
Yeah, she's not a… She's not a bad person.
She's a Supe, Hughie. Just like the fuckin' rest of them.
[Trans-Oceanic Flight 37 has lost both pilots after Homelander and Queen Maeve kill the last of the hijackers]
Can you fly a plane?
[shakes his head] Wouldn’t matter if I did. [points at the destroyed control board]
What do we do?!
[Homelander just aimlessly looks around and walks out of the cockpit]
[to the passengers] Alright, everyone, remain calm. Stay in your seats. Everything’s under control. [gives thumbs-up]
You’ve gotta go out there. Lift the plane up.
Lift the plane? How? Th–There’s nothing to stand on; it’s fucking air.
I don’t know, fly at it! Ram it straight!
You know, at that kind of speed, either the plane goes ass over tit, or I’ll punch straight through the hull or–
[The plane dips into a nosedive. Oxygen masks to deploy, which sends everyone into a panic]
[to the passengers] Whoa! That was a big one! Everything’s fine, don’t worry about it!
[pause; Homelander glares at her] Okay. Okay, you take everyone one by one. You fly them to the ground.
[laughs] And what, come back 123 times? Maeve, think.
[Maeve realizes to her horror that Homelander has no intention of saving the passengers]
We’re done here.
Please!
[to the passengers] Everything’s fine, guys. Everything’s fine. You’re okay.
Wait, you’re leaving us?
No, no, no, no, no. I’m just seeing something down the back.
Oh, my God. You’re leaving! He’s leaving us!
I said I’m not.
[The plane turns on its side. Everyone panics even harder.]
Homelander, are you gonna save us?
Oh, sweetheart, of course I’m gonna save you! You betcha! I’m gonna save everyone here. Don’t worry about it.
[Maeve looks around in dismay as the passengers continue freaking out]
Maeve!
[Homelander heads to the back of the plane and breaks the emergency door open. Maeve sees a mother with her daughter and tries to save them.]
Okay, you two. Take off your masks. Come on! Now! [to Homelander] Take these two!
No, no!
Just these two, please!
No! What, so they can tell the world we left the rest of them to fucking die?!
Come on!
No, Maeve! [to several passengers trying to escape] No, you stay back! ALL OF YOU, STAY BACK! [activates laser eyes] YOU STAY THE FUCK BACK OR I’LL LASER YOU, GODDAMMIT!! I’LL LASER EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU!
So where's the girl, Frenchie? Since you're the psycho chick whisperer all of a sudden.
Maybe subway. Maybe she wants to find a train, no?
Oh, yeah? How deep up your ass did you pull that out?
Well, it depends. How deep does your tongue go?
Listen, you lost her, man. We had orders, we're supposed to follow them. We're professionals and we count on each other, but you're on some fucking Bohemian flaky drug shit. Even Hughie–who's a fucking white Urkel–is more professional than you.
I understand it's hard for someone who's anally OCD to understand.
Okay, then help me understand, Frenchie. What happened the night that Mallory had you tail Lamplighter?
Oh, that's enough!
Mallory was our boss, man. We had orders. And you were supposed to follow him. You were supposed to follow Lamplighter, tail him, but you let him go!
I didn't know.
And Lamplighter goes and torches Mallory's grandkids!
I didn't know!
It doesn't matter! You didn't follow orders and it cost some lives!
[Frenchie punches M.M. in the face, causing a brief scuffle. Butcher quickly intervenes.]
Hey! Hey, knock it off! Knock if off!
You know what? Fuck this, Butcher. And fuck you! I'm done!
M.M., wait!
You said this time would be different. [gestures to Frenchie] But this motherfucker's still here doing the same old shit! And we're all gonna fucking end up like Mallory!
Yeah, fuck off. [throws his fist in the air as M.M. walks off]
Fuck this.
Oi, both of you! M.M!
What?
What's Sporty Spice up to?
Who?!
Sporty fuckin' Spice. What is she up to?
[pause; walks back up to Butcher] I don't know.
Exactly. [to Frenchie] How 'bout Posh? You know what she's doin'?
I don't understand.
Makin' clothes for anorexics, alright? Not exactly a growth market. And Baby? You know what she's doin'? Fuck all. Not even page six of the Daily Mail. And Scary Spice? Up to her eyeballs in lawsuits and sex tapes. Ginger, on the other hand, has released three albums: Passion, Schizophrenic, and Scream If You Want To Go Faster. They'll all make your ears bleed. You see, when they're apart, they're absolute fuckin' rubbish. But you put 'em together… They're the goddamn fuckin' Spice Girls.
How do you know so much about the Spice Girls?
Look, the point… is that we're all shite by ourselves. We need each other. We need each other, or we're fuckin' dead in the water. Now, you guys can beat the livin' fuckin' shit out of each other. I really don't care. It ain't gonna change the past. [takes gas canister from Frenchie] What d'you say we go find that dirty little bitch, gas her arse, and get the fuck outta here?
[Frenchie and M.M. exchange confused looks with each other as Butcher walks away]
Jesus, he gives the worst pep talks.
He really, really does.
[Homelander and Queen Maeve solemnly watch the floating plane wreckage wash up on the beach]
Once again, the horrific wreckage of Trans-Oceanic Flight 37 just beginning to wash up on shore. Every passenger onboard presumed dead.
…They didn't have to die.
[The reporter motions for the camera crew to follow him and he approaches Queen Maeve and Homelander]
We have Homelander and Queen Maeve on the scene. [to Homelander] Do you have a comment?
I said they didn't have to die. We arrived three minutes after the plane went down. And why? Because we're not in the chain of command. If NORAD called us before they scrambled jets, then we could've saved them. One hundred and twenty-three men, women and children. [tearfully] Excuse me.
[Homelander starts crying and takes a deep breath]
But if they let us into the military, then this will never happen again. That is my solemn promise to you. Right, Maeve? [pause; Maeve just nods] Talk to your congressmen. Talk to them. They'll listen to the people. And together… Together, we will make sure that this never happens to our great nation ever again! God bless you! God bless America!
[All the reporters start applauding and cheering for Homelander]
We hear you, Homelander!
And I hear you, brother! I hear you! And the world hears you! And very, very soon, my friend, whoever did this to us WILL HEAR FROM ALL OF US!
[Maeve shakes her head while Homelander salutes the reporters chanting his name]
$15,000 for an exclusive VIP experience with Ezekiel. Seriously? There's not an easier, cheaper way for us to get to him?
We ain't gettin' to Ezekiel. You are.
I am?
Whoa, wait. What?
Well, Starlight's one of the headliners, right? She'll get you in.
Whoa. Look, we've only been on, like, a date and a half, okay? I can't just ask her for a diamond club pass.
[takes off sunglasses] What's the matter? You worried your fake Supe girlfriend's gonna think you're usin' her?
Okay, then what? I just go up to Ezekiel, "Hey, man. What's up with you smuggling blue dope into Chinatown basements?"
Yeah, pretty much. Once you show him this.
[Butcher shows Hughie a video of Ezekiel making out with two men at the Supe nightclub]
Jesus. [pause] This is from that club you took me to?
You remembered our first night together. I'm touched.
Okay, why is this the first time I'm hearing about this plan? This kid needs to be trained up, Butcher.
Yeah. Yeah, what he said. I–I don't know how to blackmail anybody.
Hughie, you've done a murder. Comparatively speakin', this'll be a piece of cake.
I'm–I'm not really sure what you're saying, son.
I'm sayin' that if there is some geezer up there with a big white beard, he's a world heavyweight cunt.
What?
I–I'm sorry, did you just call God a c-word?
Yeah. He's got a hard-on for mass murder and givin' kids cancer, and his big 'ol answer to the existential clusterfuck that is humanity is to nail his own bleedin' son to a plank. That is a cunt move. Come on, even you gotta agree with me here.
Hey, hey, hey. Please…
We should lob a fuckin' nuke at him, get it over and done with. Y'know what I'm saying?
[to the pastor] We're sorry, sir. We apologize. [to Butcher] My man…
Alright. Good talk. Think about it. I'm here all day, alright?
[Butcher and Mother's Milk walk away to a less populated area]
You mind pipin' it down just a little bit, huh?
Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to offend your inner black Baptist mum shoutin', "Praise the Lord."
Fuck you. I'm Episcopalian. And there's nothing wrong with havin' a little church up in you, you know?
Said the bishop to the nun. What about you, Hughie? D'you believe in God?
I mean, I don't know.
What? Come off it.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't think it's Morgan Freeman up there or anything, but it can't all be random chaos.
[Homelander confronts Stillwell about the speech he's about to give at the Believe Expo]
What are you doing here?
Skipping work now?
I am taking Teddy to the pediatrician.
Maybe reschedule it.
I've already rescheduled three times. What is the emergency?
My speech.
Your speech?
Yes, my speech. It reads like corporate fucking mayonnaise. We're talking Believe here. These are my people.
But you're not just talking to them. Every dove and Democrat in Congress is gonna be watching you on CNN. You need to appear moderate…
No.
Humble.
No, you… There is an opportunity here. People are scared. They don't trust Washington or the coastal elite, and they hate foreigners. What they want is a little John Wayne frontier justice. And that is what I do. [pause] Don't forget… it was me that saved that Flight 37 thing. I turned that into a win. For us.
You're really gonna talk to me about "saving" Flight 37? [snickers]
Well, why wouldn't I?
Look, can I please just talk to you later? The speech is perfect! Trust me!
"Trust you." Okay. That's what you always say.
[to Teddy] Come here.
[Stillwell ignores Homelander and picks up Teddy from his car seat]
You're not even fucking listening to me! You're so full of shit! You say you want my input, but you don't.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't. And you never will.
I do! Can we please just talk later?!
Why? You gonna run off and play "strong single mom"? Please… That baby is an accessory.
We need boundaries.
Excuse me, sir. May I speak with you just for a moment?
Sorry, son. I got a packed schedule.
Alright. I understand, sir, but it's just–I need your guidance. I need Christ's guidance.
What is it?
Just hold on… one second. Let me just show you something.
[Hughie realizes his cell phone, which has the incriminating video of Ezekiel, stopped working after being water-damaged]
[chuckles] What's wrong?
Uh… You fucked me.
What?
Yeah, in a private Supe club. You know, the one on East 29th? Secret Lair, I think it's called?
Don't know it. Nope.
There were three of us oiled up, and you just wrapped your stretchy arms around me and it was–it was so fucking hot. And your dick was so perfect and long and… stretchy. And you–you played my butt like jazz. With poise and skill and… willingness to improvise.
[Later, Hughie calls M.M. on another phone after successfully blackmailing Ezekiel]
Hey, so that wasn't a piece of cake.
Hughie, that you? You alright?
Yeah. Yeah, it's me. Sorry. I had to–had to borrow a phone. [to someone offscreen] Thanks again. [to M.M.] I got baptized. Yeah, it's a long story. Blackmailing somebody is not cake, okay? It is weird, it's scary, you wind up just saying shit.
Okay, but did you get him to talk? What'd he say?
Uh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you–you know that charity of his? Samaritan's Embrace?
Right.
Alright. So what they do is they take boxes full of that stuff and they ship it to hospitals all across the country. And apparently, the latest one is going to the NICU at Mercer Hospital. It's, uh–It's Midtown, I think.
You are a natural, kid. You're like the fuckin' Rain Man of fucking people over.
[laughs sarcastically] Not a compliment.
[Homelander gives his speech in front of a crowd of Christians]
A terrible tragedy befell our nation last week. Terrible. Now, let's not mince words about this. We were attacked.
[The crowd starts applauding and cheering. Cut to Stillwell nervously watching the event from her office.]
America was attacked. Some people… They want me to come out here and speak empty platitudes to you all. A little bit of corporate talk. But I don't wanna do that. I can't do that. You wanna know why?
Why?
Because I believe that what God wants me to do is get on over there, find the filthy bastards that masterminded this… whatever cave they're in, and introduce them to a little thing called God's judgment! That's what I think! Sounds like the American thing to do! Sounds like the right thing to do! But no! No, no, no, no, no! Apparently, I gotta wait for Congress to say it's okay! [pause; the crowd boos in response] Right? I say, I answer to a higher law.
[The crowd cheers for him again]
Wasn't I chosen to save you?! Is it not my God-given purpose to protect the United States of America?!
[As the crowd chants his name, Homelander spreads his arms out, floats up in the air, and slowly hovers over to them]
Psalm 58:10: "The righteous shall rejoice when he sees the vengeance, and he will bathe his feet in the blood of the wicked!"
Every single word that I say up here, I'm reading from a script. I didn't write any of these words. I don't even know if I believe in them. I mean, I believe in God. I love God so much, but… honestly, it's… it's just how goddamn certain everyone is around here. [pause; the audience gasps] I mean, tickets start at, what, 170 bucks so that these people can tell you how to get into Heaven? How do they know? How does anybody know? When the Bible was written, life expectancy was 30 years old. I mean, I'm not so sure you're supposed to take it literally. It also says that it's a sin to eat shrimp. What, if–if you're gay or if you're… Gandhi, you're going to Hell? I mean… [scoffs] And if you have sex before marriage, that's–that's not immoral. That's human. What's immoral is the guy who shoved his dick in my face.
[The audience gasps again. Cut to The Deep and Madelyn Stillwell at Vought Tower.]
[watching from the Seven's meeting room] Shit.
[watching from her office] Shit.
[looks at Hughie and her mom before continuing her speech] Here's the truth. Anyone who tells you they know the answers is lying. And I know, I know, I'm supposed to be this hero-idol-symbol-whatever, but... I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm just as scared and confused as the rest of you. I'm done pretending, and I'm done taking any more shit. [pause] Thank you.
[Hughie is the only one in the audience who claps for Annie after she walks offstage]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Boys pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
