The Awesomes · Season 1
Ah, that was fun.
Fun?
Well, technically, it was awful. But I'm going to say it was fun because we're on opposite Earth. I think it's important to try and fit in.
Ooh, I like that. I mean, I hate that.
You guys are geniuses. i.e,. idiots.
Everyone, stop talking.
Don't you mean, "nobody start being quiet"?
Arrgh.
The correct expression is, "Yay!"
I'll bet on Earth 4 sewers are magical places full of wonders. Or just slightly worse sewers.
Holy crap! He looks just like Tom Boy, your arch-enemy who's a lesbian and totally in love with you except on this Earth, he's a crazy hot dude.
Mama gives Earth 4 a perfect 10.
Say there, sister. Would you be insulted if a fella would...?
Make passionate love to me over by the sanitary sewer overflow juncture? I'd be honored.
I wish I hadn't heard any of that.
What?
Sometimes we forget you're smart.
I'm a super-genius. How can you forget that?
I guess the other stuff like being injury-prone and whiny kind of takes first position.
I'm not whiny!
Ha. Good opposite Earth joke.
Well, I did understudy for Elaine Stritch in Pal Joey.
Wanna find some room under the pasta bar? I make a mean penne ala sausage.
I need to stop hearing stuff like that.
It's been some ride, my Handy Man. You've done things to my lady parts that I will not soon forget.
And no one has ever treated a tool as well as you treated mine. And I should know. I'm... the Handy Man.
At this point, I should admit to myself I like it.
First of all, we didn't zip. We were zapped. Huge difference.
I may have zapped my pants on re-entry, if you know what I mean.
Uh, who wouldn't know what you mean?
Is there any way to appeal the decision?
Yes, you can appeal it verbally to my right now.
I feel like you're just going to say no.
Well, you won't know until you appeal.
Will you please...?
No.
My cousin used to make patterns in the cornfield with a tractor. He said he was sending signals to alien lifeforms.
That's crazy.
What's crazy is how he died.
Aliens?
No, the horse he was having sex with fell on him.
Who wants some nose candy?
Prock: Gadget Gal!
And by that, I mean Dr. Bloomer's Nose Lozenges.
Oh, that's fine, then.
Made from pure cocaine.
In my day our men kept their feelings bottled up inside. Just a churning mass of emotions and rage they could never show the outside world. Eventually that pressure would be too much to bear. The weak ones would blow their brains out, but the strong ones would use it. They'd use it in the bedroom. And it would turn them from men into animals who exploded with passion. And then when it was over, they'd cry out, "Mama! Mama!" And then you'd have to slap them and say, "I ain't your mama and I never will be, but if you think you can muster the energy, I'd happily take another ride.
I just hit puberty.
*bleep*
But robots always turn on us.
Says who?
Says the "Robots Always Turn on Us" mural.
You need to ask yourself, why am I rampaging?
Uh, cause Wombat like rampaging. And stealing. Must steal. I mean, rampaging not pay very well.
But I'm not crazy.
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, baby.
Nope, it's also a stripper my daddy used to let sleep over. Ohh, Mary Ann Denial. You are likely dead.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Awesomes pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
