Boy, you Orientals are strict.
EEveryone
Hey!
What? It's not like I called them cat-eaters.
EEveryone
Hey!
Oh, they eat cats and I'm the monster.
For what it's worth, she's not actually racist for her age.
I'm pretty sure she is.
Shhh.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
TSTim's Mom
Okay, yes, we did hurt a lot of people. Bad people.
TSTim's Dad
Yes. Mostly bad people. And some people who, you know, just got in the way.
TSTim's Mom
I guess you'd call them "innocent bystanders."
TSTim's Dad
Yes. You could call them that.
You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy then in... the suburbs.
Like Jedi, but without all the merchandise.
Prock, should we arrest them? Or something?
For what? Lying to their son?
My momma never lies to me. She tells me that I'm God's most beautiful creation. And she is right.
My parents told me that when I was in my momma's belly, I ate my twin. They would tell me that a lot.
And by the way, right now you're plenty safe with us. I told Frantic to do recon.
And I've been doing reckonin' every since. I reckon when this is over, weh should have catfish. I reckon we're in for a cold snap, and I reckon I should get some new headshots done because I'm about to be famous.
Wait, so you haven't been doing recon?
I have not, because I do not know what that means.
I have no idea what the Awesomes are up to, or what you, Dr. Malocchio, are trying to pull. But I don't need ideas. I never have.
On the bright side...
Don't say German porn.
Well then the glass is half-empty.
I loathe to use the "N" word...
EEveryone
Don't!
I hate ninjas.
EEveryone
Ohhh...
This is bad news.
Why? Your German pornography can't help us?
No. I left it in the car.
It's like they're cool-looking versions of us.
Not cool: evil! They're evil versions of us. And I'll add, evil version of me looks kind of whorish.
That's a pretty great coat, though.
Figures evil me would have style. I bet she has boyfriends instead of cats, too.
AProfessor Astounding
We are... the Astoundings.
Astoundings? Shouldn't you have, like, a kind of an opposite name, like *bleep*?
*bleep* works for me.
MMMercenary Moll
Watch that mouth, Dorothy. You ain't in Kansas anymore.
No, but we did find ourselves a witch.
I am absolutely, 100% going to find them. I will leave no stone unturned. See this stone? I already turned it, and they are not there. But that will not keep me from looking under all other stones. All. Other. Stones.
I looked everywhere on Earth. And not like the cliche. I've got x-ray and telescopic vision. I mean I looked everywhere on Earth. I saw a lot of naked people I'd rather not have seen. And reruns of Friends. No matter where you look, there's always a rerun of Friends.
So which Earth is this? Earth 2?
No, it's opposites. Which means this is Earth 4. Earth 2 is where everybody is really fat.
What's Earth 3?
Earth 3 is run by apes.
I thought Earth 3 was Nazis.
It was, then the apes went to war with the Nazis and took over.
Way to go, apes!
I would have really liked to see the Nazi-ape war.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Awesomes pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.