A character in The Apprentice
Lord Sugar
The Apprentice · 659 quotes
Most-quoted character in The Apprentice: in 102 of its 659 quotes
(commenting on a poorly designed piece of furniture that the girl's team failed to sell) Functional, yes. Functional in the sense that it's easy to wheel it out to the skip to throw it away!
I hope you weren't wearing a pair of gloves.
Thank God I didn't send you out to buy 20 camels, you'd come back with a packet of fags!
(upon seeing Endeavour's flag) Looks like a blooming napkin!
Kurt Wilson: I agree with it. I made myself look like an idiot.
(moments before firing Zeeshaan) Zee, your idea of going into business with me is going to do with international trading and real estate. And you've just demonstrated that you can't deal internationally!
(to Kurt before firing him) I admire your honesty here, but Kurt you messed up on this task, okay? So Kurt, you're fired!
What do you make of Jordan? His business plan was something to do with an "immersive mobile experience." I thought that was when you dropped your phone in the loo or something.
I am bitterly disappointed with your business proposal. I know that ten weeks ago when I first met you, I just flipped through all of you very, very quickly, "What's your idea?"...and you said something about estate agents. But it don't work and I'm shocked. I tell you, I am totally, absolutely shocked, because if I didn't care about you, if I didn't think you was any good, I couldn't care less to be honest. Yeah? It don't work. it don't make sense.
Neil Clough: It does. It does make sense. This is a business plan that isn't just off the back of a fag packet. I have thought it through and it's a simple plan...
Lord Sugar: You have not thought it through. Neil, don't dig yourself a bigger hole, mate. 'Cos that ain't been thought through.
Neil Clough: I believe in that business plan. I also believe in my self ability that I can drive that to make a success.
Lord Sugar: It is a shame, it is a shame that you're still sitting here, believing in it.
Neil Clough: I'm asking for the opportunity to do it.
Lord Sugar: I know, but I might as well put that £250,000 into a slot machine, right? I may as well just stand on London Bridge and chuck it over London Bridge. Honestly, that's how bad it is.
Neil Clough: I believe that this is the one that I know I can make a success.
Lord Sugar: No, you can't. Neil, Neil, stop saying that. You can't. You cannot. It does not work, mate. Me, I would not have a bat in hell's chance of starting from scratch in this business. There, that's how good it is! It's sickening for me to sit here and that that someone that has been as powerful as you ends up the right man, you know, but the wrong plan. It's disheartening for me, yeah? And you won't move away from it, Neil.
Neil Clough: I'm absolutely convinced that I can make a success of the business and I just wanted that opportunity.
Lord Sugar: No, no, no, no, you can't mate, I'm sorry. You can't. Neil, if this was all about giving someone a job, I'd give you a job tomorrow, right? But coming into business with me, I'm afraid not, my friend. I'm sorry. I'm disappointed and I'm sure even Nick and Karren will be disappointed, but Neil, it is with regret that I have to say to you that..you're fired.
Neil Clough: (showing defeat) Okay, thank you for the opportunity.
Scott, can you tell me what you were doing on this task? Because I've had some reports back that, never mind the bleeding Wolf of Wall Street, you're more like the bloody Poodle of Petticoat Lane.
(on Steven) He is an irritant, there's no question of it, right? But it's not really a reason for placing the blame on a person like that--
Steven Ugoalah: (interrupting Sugar) Exactly! Exactly.
Lord Sugar: Steven, may I respectfully say to you, SHUT UP!
Daniel, what is your opinion about who is responsible for the failure of this task?
Daniel Lassman: I don't want to dig anyone out but it has to be Steven.
(stunned look from Lord Sugar)
Lord Sugar: It does?!
(After hearing Steven's reasons for the failure of the task) Alright, I don't want to hear the rest of the Magna Carta.
(to the initial candidates) This year, I'm going to start things off a bit differently.
(Lord Sugar picks up the phone and calls his receptionist)
Can you send the other candidates in, please?
(Shocked look from Roisin. The boardroom doors open and four more candidates, Sarah, Pamela, Scott and Sanjay join the other candidates)
[To Team Summit on their product] I think even the shoplifters would bring it back.
(immediately after Team Summit's loss has been announced) I've got the feeling that there's going to be a lot of finger-pointing at one particular individual, Robert, for not taking up the project manager's position. It'd be an easy way out, for everybody to be saying "Robert this, Robert that," so I'm going to make this much easier for everyone. Robert, I don't like people who bottle out. So Robert, You're Fired!
Robert Goodwin: Thank you Lord Sugar.
(Robert gets up and leaves and sits in reception)
Lord Sugar: You will go off now and you will have a chat among yourselves. Come back in here and we will discuss what's gone wrong on this particular task. And at least another one of you will be fired. Off you go.
(The rest of the mean leave the boardroom and say goodbye to Robert.)
Lord Sugar: I'm not even gonna mess about. This kind of deadwood is out, as soon as possible.
Sir Alan SugarLord Alan Sugar · 91 quotes
Claude LittnerClaude Littner · 23 quotes
Nick HewerNick Hewer · 21 quotes
Karren BradyKarren Brady · 17 quotes
JEJim Eastwood14 quotes
SBStuart Baggs12 quotes
JMJames McQuillan10 quotes
MSMike Soutar10 quotes
BCBen Clarke8 quotes
MMMargaret MountfordMargaret Mountford · 8 quotes
PTPaul Torrisi8 quotes
KNKarthik Nagesan7 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Apprentice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.