Thank God You're Here quotes

Frank, how are you feeling?

Frank Woodley

I’m feeling…I’m feeling… I’m feeling…good! Not cocky, but just feeling, well actually you know what? I’m feeling like I’m a spider of entertainment. And that’s because I’m going to weave a web of comedy from stuff I just pull out of my bum. We’ll see. Fingers crossed.

Oh, I can’t wait. Get the Mortein!

Heidi

These products are all good, as the slogan says...

Fifi Box

If you can do it, you can!

Frank

Does yours hurt as much as mine?

A little bit.

Frank

It’s like agh! (Hits metal on chest.) Far out! They could make them out of mink! It wouldn’t be so good in the battles of course. But in this bit, (Hits metal on chest.) the mink would be better. In the battle, agh, agh! You’re dead!

Tell me, what news from the Eastern Front?

Frank

Oh, the barbarians are going off their nut! Hairy, hairy, hairy bastards.

Frank

Rome glorious Rome! We root like rabbits.

This one was the dolphin pad, which we have clearly marked ‘H’, because dolphins, they’re high intelligence beings, have their own alphabet. They understand D as an H.

Frank

I am Pete. But my friends call me Tom.

Tom.

Heidi

Okay.

Frank

No, you are not my friends yet!

Heidi

Do any of you hold any qualifications for early childhood?

Frank

Oh, yes. I’m qualified to go through early childhood.

Heidi

Now, of course we have to do a police check, ‘cause you will be working with children. Now, who...

Frank

Right. (Drops his giant toothbrush, and walks out of the room, disappearing out the back.)

Heidi

Welcome to Australia’s number one children’s show...

Hey, That's My Hat.

Heidi

And what's our special letter for today?

Today's letter is from Alfred Gurnes.

Heidi

Goodbye to all our friends today, we’ve had so much fun and so much gay.

-ness of us, that is a lifestyle choice, so whether you’re a girl or whether you are boys, come again tomorrow won't you, I… crave?

I am the Amphibian Man. My code name is Get Me Out Of Here Immediately.

I am the Spotty Dick. And my code name is Chunder.

And you, fellow?

Angus Sampson

My name is Beaver. My code name is Beaver.

It’s our friend from the French resistance.

Hubba hubba!

(His microphone falls from his pocket.) My God, these haven’t been invented yet!

Before we start. Frank?

Frank Woodley

(Indicates bald head.) This is all I know, They’ve given me this. I’m not sure what that means. I dunno if I’m gonna be a baby or if I’m gonna be sort of um, “Whoa, the power and the passion!” (Dances crazily.)