Donnie quotes from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

Mikey

Hey, guys! Leatherhead is totally off the chain.

Raph

You mean you set him free?!

Mikey

No, off the chain means he's cool. [his brothers sigh in relief] And that's why I set him free. [his brothers gasp]

Donnie

You let that maniac loose?! Maybe you forgot that he grabbed me by the face. So I'll remind you: he grabbed me... BY THE FACE!!!

Raph

Relax. You've been hurt worse since.

Donnie

But we're still chaining him up, right?

Splinter

Of course, I am compassionate, not insane.

Leo

Mikey, poke him.

Mikey

No way! I'm not poking him! You poke him!

Leo

OK, we'll put it to a vote.

Mikey!

Mikey

I want a re-count!

Raph

And the award for worst leader goes to-

Leo

How am I the worst leader?

Raph

If we did this my way, Snakeweed would be toast by now!

Mikey

Ugh, that'd be some nasty toast.

Leo

This way would've worked if you hadn't wasted time second-guessing my orders!

Raph

Don't give bad orders, and I won't second-guess 'em!

Leo

You know what, Raph? If you think you could do better, why don't you lead?

Raph

First good idea you've had all day!

Mikey

We'll compromise. I'll lead.

Leo

Fine, Raph, the team's yours. I'm out of here. [walks away]

Mikey

I can't believe he's gone.

Donnie

Aw, don't worry, Mikey. Leo... just needs some space. [Mikey gives him an annoyed look] You meant the pizza guy, didn't you?

Mikey

Yeah.

Donnie

[to Mikey] You feel like we're missing something?

Mikey

All the time.

Mikey

So...

Don

We're thinking somebody should start talking!

Leo

I should have told you about Karai sooner, but I really thought there was a chance she would be good. And I guess I... sort of liked her. Go ahead, laugh.

Mikey

Dude, I can't believe you trusted her.

Donnie

I can't believe you didn't trust us enough to tell us.

Leo

I was wrong, I'm really sorry.

April

I tried to warn him.

Raph

You too, huh?

Donnie

You okay?

Pulverizer

Uh, sure. [groans] You can survive with just one kidney, right?

Raph

Great, first this doofus gets in the way of a good Purple Dragon stomping, and now he knows where our lair is.

Pulverizer

Oh, no problem. I blacked out most of the way here.

Donnie

How do you even know we exist?

Pulverizer

Oh, I saw you months ago. [to Leo] You were like, "Let's finish this!" [to Raph] Oh, and you were like, all, "You're going down!" [to Mikey] And then you were, like, all, "Bees!" [to Donnie] Oh, and you were like... you were like the strong, silent type.

Pulverizer

[notices some Kraang tech] Hey, what's this? [picks up the Kraang tech, Donnie snatches it back] That looks like the stuff those guys were stealing.

Donnie

That's impossible. It's Kraang tech.

Pulverizer

[puzzled] What- what's a "Kraang"?

Raph

If we told you, we'd have to kill you. [pauses] You see, the Kraang are aliens from another dimension. [Leo elbows him to stop]

Raph

Are you sure the parking brake's not on?

Donnie

For the hundredth time, YES! [notices that the parking brake is on] Oh, wait. [turns it off] Sorry, guys! Try it now.

DONNIE!

Donatello

I know I've seen this symbol; it's so familiar.

Michelangelo

The Olympics!

Don

No!

Mikey

I got it! The Olympics!

Donnie

Stop guessing! Obviously it's a Kraang signal.

Leo

But from where?

Mikey

The Olympics!

Donnie

QUIT IT!!

Donnie

It's beautiful. Uh, Scientifically speaking.

Raph

Well, if you love it so much, why don't you marry it?

Mikey

Do you, Donatello, take this portal to be your lawfully wedded....

Leo

Knock it off!

Mikey

Alright, Roachie, it's time to meet your maker!

Donnie

Wait, isn't that me?

Mikey

Exactly. Go get 'im, tiger!

Raph

Hey, the stealth bike's my thing!

Leo

Now your thing is sucking it up.

Donnie

Hey, that's my thing!

Pulverizer

This is my chance to be like you guys. Once I mutate I'll unleash all my awesome mutant powers on Shredder.

Donnie

Uh, doing the mutation thing is notoriously unpredictable and really stupid!

Raph

I can't believe Mikey actually came through.

Leo

I can't believe he fired the Shellraiser cannon inside the lair.

Mikey

I told you you should let me shoot it more often. [eats some pizza and burps; to Donnie] Pizza me.

Donnie

No, I'm not gonna "pizza you".

Mikey

I guess you're right. It's not like I did something incredibly brave and saved your life.

Leo

You did save our lives. But you also used my favorite comic book as TOILET PAPER!

Mikey

Yeah, but I only did it so you'd chase me.

Leo

Well, it worked! [starts chasing Mikey]

Mikey

WAIT! STOP!

Leo

MIKEY!

Mikey

I'M A HERO!