Raphael quotes from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987)

Three sailors?

Irma

You're gonna problem with that?!

Raphael

Those cardboard cutouts will get their attention, while we attack them from the side.

Excuse me. Which one of you ordered the pizza with chocolate sprinkles and clam sauce?

Michelangelo

Yo, dude. Right here. [grabs a pizza, opens it and eats it]

Leonardo

I think we've got you, Raphael.

Raphael

My beautiful strategy done in by a pizza.

Splinter

The winners of the next contest will be champions for the day.

Raphael

It's time for you to get motivated, Michelangelo.

Vernon

This is the story of the century. And I caught it, all by myself.

April

[outraged] With my video camera.

Vernon

[smugly] Who cares? I'm Channel 6's new star reporter now.

Irma

[angry] Oooh, of all the lowdown, sneaky, backstabbing...

Michelangelo

Hey, don't sweat dudettes. The whole world's got his numero.

Donatello

Yeah. He'll be lucky to keep his own job.

Raphael

Yeah. Once it gets out that he totally blew the story of the century.

Vernon

[indignantly] Just what are you blabbering on about?

Raphael

Looks like you forgot to take the lens cap off, Mr "star reporter".

Vernon

[shocked and sinks to his knees] Oh. All that great footage....gone.

April

Yep. Along with any hopes you had of stealing my job.

Leonardo

It's so nice of you to look after us while we're sick, April. By the way, this soup is cold. Could you warm it up again?

Raphael

April, can I have a glass of water?

Donatello

Could you get me another blanket?

Michelangelo

Tell me a story.

April

Ah, for a bunch of heroes on the half shell, they can be real babies!

Leonardo

What is it?

Donatello

He looks like a giant turtle.

Splinter

Be careful, my students. You are pitted against a superior fighting machine.

Raphael

That doesn't scare us.

I am Metalhead. I crush turtles.

Raphael

Now, that scares us.

Michelangelo

Nyah, nyah nyah, nyah you can't get us.

Raphael

[annoyed] Will you cool it, Michelangelo. We've got more important things to worry about.

Donatello

Hey, Michelangelo, how about a pizza with the works?

Michelangelo

Pizza? No way, dude. I crave pizza no more.

Leonardo

Amazing.

Donatello

Astonishing.

Raphael

Not bad. Maybe now it's safe to order out for some pizzas.

Shredder

No need, dudes. I brought back some takeout. So, like, let's get down and pig out.

Leonardo

It's Shredder!

Shredder

Where!? Where!?

Raphael

Psst! Yo, April.

April

Turtles, what are you doing here?

Shredder

Hey, babe! What's going down in this here town?

April

[gasps] I don't believe it. That's Shred-

Leonardo

[covers April's mouth] Whatever you do, don't say his name. I'll explain later.

Raphael

That guy's seen too many Filthy Harry movies.

Leonardo

Come on. We better stop him.

Raphael

Why us? Let the cops handle him.

Donatello

Think, Raphael. He pops in and out of the sewers. He fights crime. He knows Kung Fu.

Raphael

In other words, people are gonna think he's us.

Leonardo

Now do you see why we have to stop him?

Michaelangelo

Yeah. Our reptile reputations will get a bad rap.

Raphael

Say cheese, cheeseball.

April

Turtles. Oh, thank goodness you're here.

Raphael

Has your camera always acted like that?

April

It's like it suddenly had a mind of its own. And worse, my scooter drove off by itself.

Donatello

We'll deal with that later. Right now, we gotta find that dipstick in the hockey mask.

Donatello

Well, so much for those bugs. And Krang's giant knucklehead.

Leonardo

And we couldn't have done it without you, Casey.

Michaelangelo

Yeah, you are truly.... [he turns around to see that Casey has left] ...gone.

Donatello

How do you like that? He didn't even say goodbye.

Leonardo

He was a strange guy. Reckless, dangerous, and totally violent.

Raphael

Yeah. I liked him too.

Leonardo

Somehow, I got the feeling he'll cross our paths again.

[he has overheard the conversation from afar] Somehow, I got a feeling he's right.

Raphael

I don't believe it! We finally got rid of Shredder.

April

And best of all, before he could get his evil hands on Channel 6's latest transmitting equipment.

Leonardo

Knowing him, he would've turned it into some powerful new weapon of destruction.

Michelangelo

Do you realize what this means, dudes?

Raphael

Yeah. Turtles retire with honour.

Leonardo

I can resume my studies of the martial arts.

Donatello

I can get back to my inventions.

Michelangelo

I can get back to making pizzas.

Raphael

I don't know about you, but this turtle can use a well-deserved vacation. You know, London. Paris. Borneo. Some real fun.

Donatello

Whoa!

Leonardo

We're being invaded by giant vines!

Donatello

Do you realize what this means?

Raphael

Somebody traded our cow for a handful of beans? [They all start shouting as the vines tangle around them]

Donatello

It's the rays from the Professor's molecular intensifier! It actually works!

Leonardo

It's a Neutrino baby. She must have come through a portal.

Donatello

Here's a note. "Dear Ninja Turtles, please keep an eye on our Tribble. We'll dig you later, Gizzla and Zenter”. [While he’s reading, Tribble climbs out of the basket, onto the floor, and crawls away]

Michelangelo

This diaper dudette must be their offspring.

Leonardo

They wouldn't have sent her unless there was real trouble.

Raphael

Well, there's real trouble right here in Sewer City. Tribble has disappeared. Oh, great. Two minutes on the job, and we're blowing it."