Michaelangelo quotes from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987)

Michaelangelo

We're not gonna find anything here.

Michaelangelo

[To April] Well, what do you think?

April

I think you did those robberies. [She makes a break for the exit but is blocked off by Donatello]

Raphael

Ah ah ah ah ah. Wait a minute. Did I miss something here? Ain't you up on current events, lady? We just saved your life.

April

The thieves were ninjas, pal.

Michaelangelo

Yeah, but were they turtles?

April

It doesn't matter. You're still news.

Donatello

No way. You put us on TV and every scientist in town will be after us.

Raphael

And we spent half our lives crawling around the bottom of a glass bowl. And we ain't going back.

Donatello

Which means that you're staying here until we work this out.

Michaelangelo

Uh-oh. It's that Retro Mutant Thing-of-a-bob.

Donatello

He's gonna use it to turn us into ordinary turtles

Raphael

Well, gang, it looks like it's back to the ol' pet store for us.

Shredder

No, far from it. Tonight I dine on turtle soup.

Leonardo

He's still alive. Let's get him to shore, quick.

Michaelangelo

Man. This is one freaky-looking alien.

Donatello

He probably thinks you're pretty weird too.

Shredder

[watching from a nearby bush out of sight] What have those meddlesome turtles stumbled upon, now?

Michaelangelo

Whoa buds. That was one totally radical ride.

Leonardo

Now all we gotta worry about is getting to shore.

Raphael

We've got bigger problems than that, Leonardo.

Donatello

[To Raphael] You're always looking for trouble.

Raphael

[points] Oh yeah? Well, this time the trouble's looking for us.

Donatello

Yikes. It's Moby Dick's big brother.

Michaelangelo

I promise, dudes. I'll never eat another anchovy pizza again.

Raphael

I got news for you. You may never eat another pizza, period.

April

What a story. And the remarkable thing is, they were defeated by four half-teenagers and half-turtles.

Raphael

Hey. And let's not forget one half-man and half-rat, huh?

April

Hey, I just realized something. I'm the only 100 percent human being in this place.

Michaelangelo

Aw, don't feel bad, April. Nobody's perfect.

Michaelangelo

Aw, man. What a scuzzbucket.

Donatello

[To April] Well, at least you still got the video tape of us tangling with Shredder.

Leonardo

Right. That'll prove we're not villains.

April O'Neil

Sorry guys, but my camera was totalled during the battle. [shows her camera into immune, which has indeed been totalled.]

Donatello

Oh great. Our name's still mud in this city. [The turtles turn around disconsolant and start walking home.]

Michaelangelo

Total bummer, dudes.

Raphael

Some days it just doesn't pay to come out of your shell.

Raphael

Oh man. He whipped our shells, but good.

Leonardo

There's something strange. I know sensei's fighting style. And that wasn't it.

Donatello

Yeah. Do you know who it reminded me of?

SHREDDER?!

Leonardo

[a bonk to the head has given him amnesia, so he believes that he is D'Artagnan] Come, my comrades. There are wrongs to be righted, and damsels to be saved. And you Musketeers aren't even dressed. [throws clothes towards Raphael, Donatello and Michaelangelo, who all catch them]

Donatello

Uh, my fault guys. I left the costumes that April sent over in Leonardo's room.

Raphael

Clever move, brainiac.

Actually, Donatello did the right thing. You must humour him by putting on these costumes.

Michaelangelo

Pretend we're musketeers? Bogus dude.

Raphael

Look, I'd give Leonardo the shell off my back, ok? But I am not wearing lace with feathers and that's final.

Donatello

Same here.

Michaelangelo

Ditto. [They are now dressed in the costumes].

Raphael

I feel pretty stupid.

Donatello

Same here.

Michaelangelo

Ditto.

Leonardo

We've been trudging through this swamp for hours, now.

Donatello

Yeah. And all we've got to show for it are blisters the size of Rhode Island.

Michaelangelo

Yeah. And mosquitoes the size of seven-forty-seven's.

Raphael

That guy's seen too many Filthy Harry movies.

Leonardo

Come on. We better stop him.

Raphael

Why us? Let the cops handle him.

Donatello

Think, Raphael. He pops in and out of the sewers. He fights crime. He knows Kung Fu.

Raphael

In other words, people are gonna think he's us.

Leonardo

Now do you see why we have to stop him?

Michaelangelo

Yeah. Our reptile reputations will get a bad rap.

Donatello

Well, so much for those bugs. And Krang's giant knucklehead.

Leonardo

And we couldn't have done it without you, Casey.

Michaelangelo

Yeah, you are truly.... [he turns around to see that Casey has left] ...gone.

Donatello

How do you like that? He didn't even say goodbye.

Leonardo

He was a strange guy. Reckless, dangerous, and totally violent.

Raphael

Yeah. I liked him too.

Leonardo

Somehow, I got the feeling he'll cross our paths again.

[he has overheard the conversation from afar] Somehow, I got a feeling he's right.

Donatello

[He's just used his personality ray gun on Leonardo to turn him back] There. That should take care of it.

Raphael

Do you think it worked?

Donatello

We'll know in a minute. [removes the goggles from Leonardo's eyes]

Leonardo

Donatello, this workshop of yours is a disgrace. And Raphael and Michaelangelo, why aren't you in the practice room, working out?

It worked.