[singing while floating around] ♪ I was bouncing on the moon one day… ♪ [bumps into the wall and looks up at a mural] Huh? Hey, Peridot, who is this supposed to be?
Peridot[approaches and gasps in surprise at the mural] It's Blue Diamond! Wait. Are they all here?! Ah, yes! There she is!
[They run up to the mural of Yellow Diamond]
Peridot
Behold, Yellow Diamond! Isn't she magnificent?
Wow! So, who are the Diamonds anyway? They seem like a big deal.
Peridot
Are you joking me? The Diamonds are the Gem matriarchs! Together, they make up the Great Diamond Authority that governs Homeworld and all the outlying colonies! We live to serve them. [Garnet clears her throat and glares down at her in annoyance; nervously chuckles] I…I mean, we were all made to serve them, even though some of us don't anymore.
Peridot
This is so incredible! Only the most elite can enter these sanctums. We are literally walking in the footsteps of the Diamonds.
They must really like stairs. [They enter an upstairs room with only a single mysterious object in the middle] Hey, what's this room?
[continues walking] It's not what we came for.
Can we hurry it up? This place gives me the creeps.
[as they reach the top of the moon base] We really are on the moon.
[Peridot brings up a hologram of Earth, which starts eroding to a hollowed-out version with a ring system as Steven and the Gems awe in shock]
Peridot
Ta-da! A finished Earth colony. Wow, look at this! Eighty-nine Kindergartens, sixty-seven spires, a Galaxy Warp in each facet, efficient use of all available materials. What were you thinking shutting this operation down?! It could've been great!
Peridot
What do you mean? It's perfect. Look at it!
Completing this colony would have meant the extinction of all life on Earth!
Peridot
But think of the good it would've done! The Gems that would've been made, our empire expanded!
Rose Quartz believed all life was precious and worth protecting.
Peridot
Well, if she wanted to protect it, she did a lousy job! There'd be no Cluster if the Earth had stayed a colony! Now there's no colony, and there's gonna be no Earth! So thank you, Rose Quartz, you doomed the planet!
[Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst stare angrily at Peridot for a beat]
Ohh-hoh-hoh! [nervously] Is there anything that's worth more than—
[picks up Peridot by the tunic, sharply] You, listen to me, now. [summons gauntlet] You are talking about things that you do not understand.
Garnet! Stop, please! It's not worth it. We're done here. Let's just go home.
[Garnet drops Peridot on the seat and smashes the control panel with her gauntlet and the hologram dissipates; the Gems start leaving soon after. Steven sighs]
Peridot
What'd I say? I'm just stating a fact. The rebellion didn't really save Earth, it just delayed the inevitable.
[sighs] That's not the way they see it. They've spent thousands of years trying to protect the Earth. I thought maybe you finally understood why.
Peridot
[quickly hides the Diamond Communicator prism behind her back when she sees Steven] Oh! Steven.
Peridot, I need to talk to you.
Peridot
Uh, yeah! Sure. [They both enter the truck] Why are we in this broken down vehicle?
I wanted to ask you… [looks down at her hiding right hand, then up to her face] about the Diamonds?
Peridot
Oh! I don't know what the others have told you, but there's a reason they're in charge.
Peridot
They're objectively better than us. Every Gem has their strengths and weaknesses, but not them. They're absolutely totally completely flawless beings! Especially my diamond, Yellow Diamond, the most perfect, the most reasonable, rational, efficient decider ever to exist in the universe!
You're really loyal to her, aren't you?
Peridot
How could I not be? We might have our little truce, but I'll never forsake the Gem I was made for!
[Steven and the Gems hide behind the Peribot as Peridot activates the Communicator, contacting Yellow Diamond]
This is the Yellow Diamond control room.
PPearl
Not all Pearls know each other, Steven.
Who authorized you to make this call?
Peridot
No one. But it's an emergency!
That's no excuse to use the direct Diamond communication channel!
Why is there someone on the diamond line?
I don't know! I was just about to tell her that…
I'll take it from here. [brings the screen up to her eye level, revealing herself]
[Steven and the Gems gasp in shock]
Peridot
Log Date 7-1-5-2. I can't believe I just did that! I disobeyed my orders and went against Yellow Diamond's wishes! I'm a traitorous clod! I never want to think about what I've done again! [stops recording, rewinds and plays the recording; laughs madly] And I called Yellow Diamond a clod, right to her face! [falls to her knees] I called Yellow Diamond a clod, right to her face.
Uh, Peridot? Are you going to be okay?
Peridot
[enthusiastically with a deranged smile] No!
It's all going to work out. You're with us now.
Peridot
You don't understand! I'm protecting a planet I was once trying to destroy! I used to follow every order, every rule. Now I'm a traitor. [cringes] A rebel! [eyes turn to stars] A CRYSTAL GEMMMMMMMMMMMM.... [snickers]
Well, that tape recorder seems to be helping.
Peridot
NO IT'S NOT! [throws it at Garnet, who had just entered] It's a chronicle of my descent into madness!!!
[holding out the recorder to Peridot] You dropped this.
Peridot
Get it away from me! Give it to Steven. Return madness to its source!
[Steven presses the rewind button on the tape recorder, rewinding all the way back to the beginning to where he first gave it to Peridot]
Peridot
[through recorder] Log Date 7-1-1-2. The Steven has given me this Earth machine to replace my communicator log. It looks… extremely primitive. [takes the recorder out of his hand] He also said he wanted me to stop calling him, "the Steven."
Peridot
[through recorder] I said I'd call him whatever I want. [hisses at him; Steven holds up his finger in her face] He told me that was rude.
Peridot
[through recorder] I guess I'll call him, "Steven."
[Steven installs a TV, inserts a VHS tape in it, and Camp Pining Hearts begins to start]
TNTV Narrator
On the last episode of "Camp Pining Hearts"…
PPaulette
I don't care that you're on the yellow team, Percy. We can make this work!
PPercy
It's the color war, Paulette. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
[They lean in closer to kiss]
Peridot
What is this strange ritual?
Peridot
Are they attempting fusion?
No, well, my dad told me during certain stages in your life--
Peridot
How could anyone indulge in this baseless drivel?! I'll have no part of it! [through recorder] Hour 78 of "Camp Pining Hearts." [repeating Percy's line] It's the the color war, Paulette. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
Uh, you've been here for a few days. Is everything okay?
Peridot
I've just been… watching your previously recorded entertainment.
Is that the same episode from three days ago?
Peridot
There's more than one?
Hmm... nah. Oh, you made a picture. [reaches a piece of paper before Peridot snatches it]
Peridot
Picture?! This isn't just a picture, Steven! It's a complex chart cataloging the compatible characteristics between campers. Somehow, the rejects at Camp Clod fail to recognize the superior pair that is Pierre and Percy.
Well, that's 'cause Paulette likes Percy.
Peridot
Paulette? Ha! Paulette has no place in the camp's hierarchy. Now, Pierre-- Pierre is a brute! Pierre laid waste to the three-legged races! Pierre and Percy present the strongest battle formation! They'd destroy the camp!
You got all this from one episode?
Peridot
It's subtext, Steven. Allow me to explain. [cut back to recorder held by Steven] Well, first of all, Percy and Pierre are both on the yellow team, and als-
Ugh, I remember this part. [fast-forwards recorder as we see Peridot speeding through the entire session; Steven soon falls asleep with Garnet now sitting on the couch]
Peridot
[sped through] Percy is using his pogo stick to save her. Not to mention Percy is adept at aquatic sports. He would have won the canoe race if he weren't so busy drooling over Paulette, and the other part where Percy goes to the bottom of the lake to get Paulette's friendship bracelet proves that he has the largest lung capacity in the entire camp! And Pierre is a force to be reckoned with on land, when he hung Bunk Seven's underwear in the tree, the whole- [fast-forwarding stops] And that's why Percy and Pierre are objectively the best for each other! [Steven slumps down the floor; Garnet gives a thumbs up; tears up her complex chart, angrily] GRAHHH!!!
Peridot, I'm proud of you.
Peridot
Why?!
Because you've made an effort to understand me.
Peridot
But I still don't understand you! Why are you fused all the time?!
Peridot
[realizing] Oh!
[Steven fast-forwards the tape recorder]
Peridot
[through recorder] Okay, go.
[through recorder] Log Date 7-14-2.
Peridot
[through recorder] No, you say it "7-1-4-2." [groans] Log Date 7-1-4-2. I have attempted a fusion with the fusion Garnet. I had hoped to gain a better understanding of fusion. Instead, I gained a better understanding of Garnet.
[through recorder] Wait, keep it on a moment. Steven, you probably shouldn't have listened to Peridot's logs, but I know your curiosity comes from a place of caring. You should give the recorder back to her now. She's going to want to keep it.
Peridot
[through recorder] Wait, what?
Peridot
Didn't you feel that?!
Peridot
The ground shook! This could be the start of the emergence of the Cluster! Stage 1: Slight tremors every quarter hour. Stage 2: Full-scale earthquakes. Stage 3:… [flips the board that shows a drawn picture of the Earth being destroyed with words reading, "CLUSTER EMERGES / BYE BYE EARTH"] THE EARTH IS DESTROYED! We're running out of time! We need to drill, right now!
GAGarnet, Amethyst, & Pearl
Malachite?!
Peridot
What?
I was on Mask Island. I was in a Watermelon Steven. They have a lovely community, but Malachite, she was there!
[Amethyst coughs out a bite of her sandwich sub]
Lapis Lazuli is losing control. Soon, Jasper will overpower her and Malachite will be loose.
Who knows what sort of destruction an unstable fusion like Malachite could cause?
Peridot
[sitting on mattress with Steven] So, Lazuli has Jasper trapped in a fusion? You're joking me.
It's true! But Lapis must be getting tired from fighting Jasper for so long.
Peridot
Just being on a ship with Jasper made me tired. [the ground starts trembling, Steven shouts]
Ahh! I gotta help them! But they told me it was too dangerous.
Peridot
Why don't you just disobey them? They rebel. Isn't that like, your guys's thing?
Ah! You're right! Oh, I know! I'll fall asleep and go into a Watermelon Steven again! This way, I can help them and be safe at the same time. [chuckles sinisterly, falls asleep]
Peridot
Wow. You are a real anarchist.
No one can tell me what to do. [snores]
Peridot
Wait! What do I do now? Don't just leave me here! [sighs deeply]
Peridot
[being shaken next to drill] If you're done just lying there, maybe it's about time that we STOP THE WORLD FROM ENDING! Where are the others?!
They're stuck on Mask Island! We have to drill without them!
Peridot
Ugh! Am I the only one who understands the meaning of teamwork?! [Steven comes up, and she grips his shoulders] Okay. Steven, are you ready to drill down into the planet, to depths never before reached by your species, to stop the Cluster before it forms and save your world?!
Peridot
Don't say that! Say we'll do it together and it's gonna be great!
We're gonna do it together and it's gonna be great!
Peridot
Liar!
[Peridot and Steven then scamper into the drill's cockpit as the ground continues to shake]
Peridot
Ready or not, we have a mission.
[Inside the drill]
All right, bracing for impact!
Peridot
It's actually two more hours to the Cluster.
Oh. Wish I'd brought some tunes.
[Looking annoyed, Peridot presses a button, making some quiet music play]
Uh, thanks. [short silence; starts to look nervous] It's kinda... freaky down here, huh?
Peridot
Why's that?
It's just dark, and cramped, [shuddering] and, uh... I can't even... uh, stretch out. [they are both disturbed by a brief rumbling] How'd you think you were gonna get everyone in here anyway?
Peridot
I don't know. They'd... shrink or something.
[As it appears that the Cluster will take form and destroy the Earth]
Peridot
[terrified] It's too late! It's taking form! Steven, I'm sorry I couldn't save you, or the billions of other lifeforms who matter far, far less to me! Do you have any last words?!
[hugging her] I love you, Peridot.
Peridot
[emotionally] Wow... thanks. [hugs him back] It's still struggling to take its form! This means we still have time! There's still a chance!
[After Steven helps the Cluster bubble itself]
Peridot
[hugging him] You did it!
We did it together. And it was great.
[The other Gems arrive, with an unconscious Lapis]
Guys! You're back! I-is Lapis okay?
[concerned] You look happy! Uh, did you destroy the Cluster?
It doesn't want to destroy the Earth. It just wants company. And it's got it now! It's like a bajillion people! They'll have lots of time to get to know each other, now that they're in a bubble.
[utterly astonished] How on Earth did you bubble that whole thing?!
[The Cluster is shown again, still peacefully contained in its bubble]
Steven Universe · 493 quotes
