[O'Neill and Teal'c are wrestling with an alien archaeologist near a control system for an ancient device which he has activated. There is a blinding flash, and we suddenly cut to a shot of O'Neill in the mess hall, holding a spoonful of froot loops. He looks astonished. Slight pause, then cut to a shot of Jackson. He is gesticulating with a fork that has a piece of waffle on the end of it]
...Anyway, that's just how I feel about it. [pause] What do you think? [he looks expectantly at O'Neill]
[O'Neill looks confused]
[O'Neill looks around, disoriented]
...Maybe. [Title card roll]
...Weren't we just somewhere else?
[O'Neill looks around, confused]
...Everything just changed.
I'm not talking about briefings in general, Daniel, I'm talking about this briefing; I'm talking about this day.
Col. O'Neill is correct. Events do appear to be repeating themselves.
Since we went to P4X-639.
We haven't been to P4X-639.
Yes we have. [points at Dr. Jackson] No, we haven't. That's what you were going to say.
Of course that's what I was going to say.
[pause]
Okay, bad example. Look, you'll all believe me when SG-12 comes through that gate in [he looks at his watch, ticking off seconds] four...three...two...one...
[he silently ticks off the final second, and when he reaches zero, he makes a flourishing gesture toward the gate room. Cut to a shot of Carter, looking confused, then to a shot of the unactivated gate, then back to O'Neill. He frowns and begins to tap his watch doubtfully]
GHGen. Hammond
[calmly] SG-12 isn't due back for three days.
[alarms go off]
TTechnician
[over loudspeaker] Unscheduled off-world activation!
[under his breath] So close.
[O'Neill correctly sums up what Carter was about to say]
Now, how did I know you were going to say that?
Maybe you read my report?
[more than a little skeptically] Maybe he read your report? [he narrows his eyes and raises his eyebrows questioningly at Carter]
Look, General, if it were just me, I'd agree. But what about Teal'c? Come on, is this the face of a crazy man!?
[pause, shot of Teal'c looking askance at O'Neill in a vaguely insane way, cut back to O'Neill]
What kind of archaeologist carries a weapon?
[pause]
[O'Neill and Teal'c have just successfully convinced Hammond, Carter, and Daniel that they're trapped in a time loop]
Look, I don't know why none of you remember any of this, but I do know for a fact that there's no point in having ol' Doc Frasier examine us again.
[shot of Carter, looking amazed. Pause, then shot of Jackson and Hammond, looking amazed. Pause, then shot of O'Neill looking vaguely hopeful, then cut to...]
[shot from O'Neill's POV- Dr. Frasier is shining a penlight in his eye]
[with obviously forced patience] I ask you: What could possibly be in my eye that could explain this?!
[shot of Teal'c. A nurse puts a thermometer in his mouth. He glances at her, then sighs, looking resigned]
O'Neill, should we not be assisting Daniel Jackson with the translation?
I'm taking this loop off.
[Col. O'Neill starts squirting mustard and ketchup onto an empty plate.]
I'm telling you, Teal'c, if we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm going to lose it.
[Teal'c raises an eyebrow.]
Lose it. It means go crazy. Nuts. [from this point on, he becomes increasingly agitated] Insane. Bonzo. No longer in possession of one's faculties. Three fries short of a happy meal... [by now, O'Neill is ranting. He holds up his plate, which now has a crazed mustard-and-ketchup smiley face on it] WACKO!
You know the worst part about this? Every time we loop, Daniel asks me a question…and I wasn't listening the first time.
You are not the only one who must experience some discomfort, O'Neill.
[The loop resets to the beginning. Cut to corridor, we see Teal'c get slammed in the face by a door being opened.]
MMan
I'm sorry, sir, I didn't see you there.
You have said that on many occasions.
Perhaps next time I will not be so forgiving.
[In a later loop.]
MMan
I'm sorry, sir, I ... whoa!
[Teal'c slams the door on the man and walks away with a smirk.]
So, how many loops have you-have we-been through?
Wow, that's gotta be frustrating...
[as though Daniel has just stated the very obvious] Uhh...yeah.
Still, it seems like sort of an opportunity.
[In a mildly patronizing tone] ...How's that?
Well, if you know everything's going to go back to the way it was, then you could do anything... [shot of realization dawning on Teal'c] ...for as long as you want... [shot of realization dawning on O'Neill] ...without having to worry about consequences.
[Shots of O'Neill and Teal'c looking at each other, as the full implications of what Daniel has said sink in]
...Excuse me. [Gets up and leaves]
[Teal'c puts down the chalk he's been using to write on the blackboard, bows slightly at Daniel, and exits]
[Shot of an officer in one of the corridors of the SGC. We hear a bicycle bell ring. The officer steps back quickly to reveal O'Neill riding a bicycle towards the camera.]
[As he rides past] Hey, Vern. How's the wife?
OOfficer
[confused] Uh...fine, sir...
[Teal'c and Col. O'Neill are standing on a patch of astroturf in front of the activated Stargate in full golf clothing, holding drivers. Teal'c shoots a golf ball into the gate.]
[appreciatively] Oh yeah! That'll play...How far is Alaris, anyway?
[As he tees up a ball for O'Neill to shoot] Several billion miles, O'Neill.
That's gotta be a record.
[O'Neill shoots a ball into the gate.]
[O'Neill is once again standing in front of the activated gate in full golf clothing. He begins his swing to shoot the ball into the gate...]
GHGen. Hammond
[off, over the speaker] Colonel O'Neill, what the hell are you doing?!
[turns to face the control room, which is behind and above the camera, shouts and gesticulates, frustrated] In the middle of my backswing?!
[O'Neill enters the control room in civilian clothing]
George. [He hands Gen. Hammond a sheet of paper, pulls up his sleeve and examines his wristwatch]
GHGen. Hammond
Colonel, what are you doing out of uniform?
Handing you my resignation.
[shocked] Resigning? What for?
[looking at his watch and obviously measuring his words to coincide with the end of the time loop] So I can do...this. [He kisses Carter deeply just before the loop repeats]
[O'Neill is in the mess, sitting with Daniel and Carter. He is eating oatmeal with obvious relish]
I don't think I've ever seen anyone enjoy oatmeal so much.
When you've been eating Froot Loops for who knows how long, a little variety helps.
We got a message from the Tok'ra. Apparently they've been trying to contact us for over three months.
Who knows when they first realized we were cut off? I mean, there's really no telling how much time passed.
Let me ask you something. In all the time you were…looping, were you ever tempted to…do something crazy? I mean, you could do anything without worrying about consequences.
You know, it's funny, you've asked me that before. [looks at Carter]
[Looks at Carter and smiles, then looks back at O'Neill] ...And?
[O'Neill just looks at Carter, smiles, and takes a bite of oatmeal. Fade to credits.]
You know what they say, General. If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try again.
