A character in Stargate Atlantis
Played by David Nykl
Stargate Atlantis · 512 quotes
6th most-quoted character in Stargate Atlantis: in 46 of its 512 quotes
Most scenes with: Rodney McKay (19), John Sheppard (10), Elizabeth Weir (6)
Dr. ZelenkaExplosives, yes, yes. Uh, the problem with an explosive delivery system is that, because the drug is now an aerosol, a third of the tests ignited the medication [he and Dr. Beckett laugh nervously] rendering it useless.
They call it flashing! [he briefly opens his lab coat at the Wraith]
Dr. ZelenkaIt's like being handed the Wraith encyclopedia and don't know where to start.
When I was a kid and got my first encyclopedia, I started with the letter S.
Dr. ZelenkaYes, well, I'm sure the Wraith sexuality is interesting.
(the Orion is under heavy fire without shields)
One more shot Zelenka, that's all I'm asking!
Dr. ZelenkaI just cannot give you what I do not have! (checks a console) THERE'S TOO MUCH DAMAGE! WE NEED TO ABANDON SHIP! (runs towards the exit)
Hey, stop! Listen to me-
Dr. ZelenkaWe sacrificed our shield capabilities with that first salvo, we shouldn't wait any more moments, major!
Col. Caldwell, I'm afraid we've done everything we can on our end! Requesting immediate beam out to the Daedalus!
Their ear-drums have been perforated.
How?
Dr. ZelenkaThe whales are emitting an intense, low frequency pulse...like...like a sonar; as well as an EM field. The combination is very dangerous to humans - particularly in such close proximity.
[having heard none of this; his voice raised] It's the whales!
[ignoring Rodney] Their hearing's been impaired; it should heal soon...
[continuing anyway; his voice still raised] It's their echolocation! It's creating very powerful vibrations! The closer we got, the worse it became!
Dr. ZelenkaYes... [Raising his voice] Yes Rodney! We know!
[after a brief pause] Oh!
[after an even longer pause] What?
Dr. ZelenkaNormally if Dr. Esposito weren't around, I doubt you would have been as reckless as you were.
Are you insane?
Which one is Esposito?
Dr. ZelenkaOh, the long dark-haired...
Oh, right, the one with the perky little...
Do you mind?! We're trying to work here.
For the record I was gonna say 'smile'.
Ya, I'm sure you were.
[Elizabeth walks into the "Game Room" to find Lorne and Zelenka arguing. They are unaware of her entrance.]
Dr. ZelenkaAbsurd!
What are you talking about? It’s a perfectly reasonable request!
Dr. ZelenkaOh yeah. Perfectly reasonable! I give you all of my food and my people starve.
[Elizabeth walks deeper into the room and sees the two of them on either side of the ‘games’ console. Radek is already on his feet and now Evan stands up to shout at him over the top of the screens.]
I am not asking you for all of your food! Plus, I did say that we would make a deal.
Dr. Zelenka[sarcastically] A deal. Oh yeah. Baskets.
Big baskets! Two dozen of ‘em, hand-woven and very nice.
Dr. ZelenkaOh, very nice. What am I gonna put in them, huh? Certainly not food!
[Elizabeth, still unnoticed by the two men, folds her arms and looks at them angrily. They continue to bicker, getting more and more agitated with every remark.]
You know what? I think you’re holding out on me. I think you have plenty of food.
Dr. ZelenkaAre you calling me a liar?!
No, I think you’re trying to squeeze me for a better deal, that’s what I think.
Dr. ZelenkaI have got nothing to hide! Now, if you’re ...
OK, OK, so maybe I’ll send some of my army troops down and we’ll have a look!
[very angrily] What the hell are you two doing?
[The two finally notice her presence and look down, ashamed. Both of them are wearing expressions akin to ones that you would find on the faces of children who have just been found stealing cookies from the cookie jar.]
I thought I gave specific orders to stay away from this device.
Dr. Zelenka[quietly, ashamed] Yes, yes, you did.
We just saw that there were some people in trouble and we thought that maybe that we could...um...help.
No! No more help. Clearly we are not qualified!
Dr. Zelenka[About a Wraith cruiser] It's been down there for a very, very, very long time.
Give or take a very.
Shouldn't you guys be bickering or something?
Ah, we've got nothing to bicker about. He's run out of bad ideas... finally.
Dr. Zelenka[sulkily] If we survive this, I'm putting in for a transfer.
Oh, please. We both know that you've done your best work under me.
Dr. ZelenkaUnder you?! I'm my own department head, you know.
Please! We both know that department is a joke.
Dr. ZelenkaWhat?!
Why don't you two just make out and get it over with?
How's it going?
Well I would be making a lot more progress if 'Timmy Torture' over here wasn't trying to kill me every two seconds.
Dr. ZelenkaI wasn't trying to kill him.
ZelenkaI must say, Rodney, this is quite an ingenious idea.
[smug] Were you expecting anything less?
Zelenka[hesitant] Well...
Well what?
ZelenkaWell, you have been in a bit of a rut lately.
[indignant] I have not!
ZelenkaOK, well, like a dry spot, maybe.
That is not true.
ZelenkaOK...
It is not!
ZelenkaI'm all yours. What would you like to try now?
Actually, unencumbered by the continual need to explain things to you, I've actually made remarkable progress.
ZelenkaOh, really?
Mmm. [they start walking into the lab] The systems the Ancients had in place were designed to create fully functional humanoid replicants, right?
Zelenka[suddenly pensive] ...yes.
Well, turns out that trying to create something much simpler is – ironically – much more difficult. In the end I was forced to compromise.
ZelenkaWait, you're not suggesting that...
Ah, I know it wasn't part of the plan but it was either this or nothing.
[Arriving at the Ancient table, Rodney gestures to...]
[smiling warmly at Radek] Hello.
Zelenka[somewhere between shock, horror, and awe] ...oh, my.
Dr. ZelenkaColonel. I think I may have something. I've been working under the assumption that, as you suggested, the device they took must have been broadcasting some sort of sub-space communication ...
You can trace it.
Dr. ZelenkaWell, yeah, if it was broadcasting from Atlantis, yes, but obviously it's not doing that any more.
So?
Dr. ZelenkaSo ... well ... I'm using the work of László Babai as a stepping stone ... You know, combinatorics and, um ... (shakes his head.) No offence, but the math I'm using is so complicated, I don't know if I can dumb it down enough for it to make sense.
Dr. ZelenkaCome to think of it, I think it might have been those little green berries with the purple specks on them, because my tongue did seem a little bit numb afterwards ...
Yeah, FYI, this conversation ended six seconds ago.
Dr. ZelenkaYeah, um, anyway, on the way back I had an idea.
Well, have a little lie down. It'll pass.
You realize it's highly unlikely you're actually gonna find anything?
Dr. ZelenkaWell, then I will have wasted an hour of my time and you'll be able to tell me "I told you so." If, on the other hand, I do find something, perhaps they'll name something after me for a change. [he exits]
[Rodney pauses for a few seconds]
[going after Zelenka] Wait!
Dr. ZelenkaYou'll think of something.
Really? What makes you so sure?
Dr. ZelenkaBecause you're brilliant.
That's true! Doesn't mean I'm going to... wait a minute. What did you say? Why did you say that? What are you sick? Am I sick? What have you heard?!
Rodney McKayDavid Hewlett · 282 quotes
John SheppardJoe Flanigan · 235 quotes
Elizabeth WeirTorri Higginson · 76 quotes
Carson BeckettPaul McGillion · 60 quotes
Ronon DexJason Momoa · 53 quotes
Teyla EmmaganRachel Luttrell · 37 quotes
LFLt. Ford25 quotes
Jennifer KellerJewel Staite · 18 quotes
Gen. O'NeillRichard Dean Anderson · 17 quotes
Richard WoolseyRobert Picardo · 16 quotes
MLMaj. Lorne12 quotes
WWraith12 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate Atlantis pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.