Elizabeth Weir quotes from Stargate Atlantis

Dr. Weir

Rodney, we need the shield up in 40 seconds or we're dead.

Dr. McKay

What? Are you kidding me?!

Dr. Weir

No!

Dr. McKay

Okay, because I think you're trying to determine the point at which I will completely snap. [puts the ZPM in the slot, nothing happens]

Dr. Weir

Rodney nothings happening.

Dr. McKay

What?! That should be it.

Dr. Weir

20 seconds.

Dr. McKay

Okay, SNAP! That's it! You all happy now?!

Dr. Weir

Rodney!

Dr. Weir

Rodney, you can take the rest of the day off.

Dr. McKay

Oh. I am gonna curl up in bed with the largest sandwich I can find. [lays down on the floor like he's going to go to sleep]

Teyla

Shall I just explain to the rest of the Wraith left on the base that you are unavailable to fight?

Dr. Weir

Ok, what are our options?

Dr. McKay

Let me see, we've got quick death, slow death, painful death, cold, lonely death...

Dr. McKay

[whispering] They're scanning for us.

Dr. Weir

Why are you whispering?

Dr. McKay

I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

Dr. Weir

You said you wanted the best.

Dr. Beckett

But all of these people are more qualified than I am, how am I supposed to choose between them?!

Dr. Weir

Dr. Beckett, you are my chief medical head, I have full trust in you to make the right decision.

Dr. Beckett

[smiles] Well, when you put it that way...

Lt. Col. Sheppard

This is what I do when I'm having problems with my laptop. I turn it off, then I turn it on again.

Dr. Weir

I think it's a little more complicated than that.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

I'm just saying, if we're taking a page from the John Sheppard Book of Computer Repair, we're really desperate.

Dr. Weir

Pack up what you need.

Dr. Beckett

I don't think an operating room and bloody army would fit through the gate.

Dr. Weir

He really sold you.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

He asked me to trust him.

Dr. Weir

You destroyed three-quarters of a solar system!

Dr. McKay

Five-sixths, but it's not an exact science.

Dr. Weir

Rodney, can you give your ego a rest for one second?!

Dr. Weir

When will it arrive?

Dr. McKay

[to himself] Let's see, carry the four. [to Dr. Weir] 42 million years. Shall we go wait on the porch?

Dr. Weir

Rodney, slow down. Are you all right?

Dr. McKay

[babbling excitedly] Yes, yes! I mean, I'm... I don't know! I mean, I did take out the guards, they were huge and dumb and stupid and...

Dr. Weir

What guards?

Dr. McKay

Ford's guards! Didn't I mention Ford?!

Dr. Weir

No, you didn't! You haven't mentioned Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon either-

Dr. McKay

YES!!! They were there too, and there were two guards! They were huge, massive and to take them out, I had to inject myself with some of the enzyme...

Dr. Weir

[incredulous] You took some of the enzyme?!

Dr. McKay

Nonononono, I didn't took some of the enzyme, I took a lot of the enzyme because I had to take out the guards do! You should have seen me, I was amazing!!!

Dr. Weir

Are you insane?

Dr. McKay

Yes! Yes! No, I took some of the enzyme, yes!

Dr. Weir

Rodney, focus! Where is Col. Sheppard?

Dr. McKay

NONONO, I HAD TO TAKE THE ENZYME BECAUSE, BECAUSE I HAD TO TAKE OUT THE GUARDS! Elizabeth, the-the point is, we don't have much time! We have to stop that ship and get to know where the ship's going!

Dr. Weir

Come on, come on, let's take a walk to the infirmary-

Dr. McKay

Ooooh, what are you doing? Nonono, I don't want to go to the infirmary! I want to go to the, ummm, the... [collapses]

Dr. Weir

Dr. Beckett, we have an emergency, we're headed for you!

Dr. Zelenka

Oh! No-no-no-no-no-no – I cannot possibly ... uh, no.

Dr. Weir

Radek.

Dr. Zelenka

I-I ... I can't even swim!

Lt. Col. Sheppard

There's not a lot of swimming under a thousand feet of ocean.

Dr. Weir

(to Radek) Look, I'm not gonna order you to go.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

I will! [Elizabeth shoots him a look]

Dr. Weir

All I'm saying is that if Rodney can't turn to you, who can he turn to?

Dr. Zelenka

[thinks for several seconds] Right. Give me a few minutes and I'll get my gear.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

We got the drones, we got a few jumpers; I even got the girl.

Dr. Weir

You got the girl?

Lt. Colonel Sheppard

Well, I mean I could have got the girl. I turned her down.

Dr. Weir

[smiling] What did you offer them in return for the drones and the jumpers?

Lt. Col. Sheppard

A supply of medicines and an IDC if they need to reach us. We also offered to help `em come up with a new way of running things when the time comes.

Dr. Weir

They didn't offer you king?

Lt. Col. Sheppard

I turned that down too!

Dr McKay

You two need some very serious marriage counselling.

He’s not my husband, he is the enemy. Drop your weapon.

Now radio security and tell them everything’s fine.

Dr Beckett

Everything’s not fine.

Dr McKay

Security, this is Rodney McKay. Everything’s fine, never been better. Colonel Caldwell was kidding when he said, what he said...

Ah, forget it!

Dr Weir

[over comm] Thaelin, the second I find you, you die.

Dr Beckett

Well, they're on the road to divorce.