John Sheppard quotes from Stargate Atlantis

Dr. McKay

One more time: mysterious energy pulse from a device created by the Ancients. I mean, who knows what kind of long-term effects I could be in for? I mean, there’s gross mutation, giantism, invisibility...

Lt. Col. Sheppard

That would be cool. I turned into a bug.

Dr. Beckett

Alright. Like I said, as far as I can tell, he’s as healthy as a horse. I’m clearing you for active duty.

Dr. McKay

What are you insane?! Look, I need to be put under guard. Who knows what I could become?

Dr. Weir

What are the chances it could make him more pleasant?

Dr. Weir

What else can you do, besides telekinesis?

Dr. McKay

Well, super-hearing for one. And, I'm not sure, but I think I may actually be getting smarter. It's hard to say for sure because I was pretty smart to start with, but recently I've been having thoughts that I don't think even I would have thought of before.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Does super-ego count as a power?

Dr. McKay

Oh, finally! Look, keep it coming.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

We may also be dealing with a super appetite, but it's hard to tell because he ate so much before.

Dr. Weir

Rodney, we need to talk.

Dr. McKay

What do you mean I’m gonna die? I’m not even sick! I feel great -- never better!

Lt. Col. Sheppard

That Ancient device...

McKay

[Reading his mind] ...has accelerated my evolution. [Reading Weir’s mind] Eventually I’ll reach a point where I’m physically capable of ascension, but ascension takes more than that -- there’s a mental component. I need to know how to make it happen... which I don’t. [Reads Ronon’s thoughts] Yet!! I’m getting smarter by the minute, it’s a pretty good assumption I’ll be able to figure it out on the way. [Rodney reads Weir’s mind again]. OK, so it’s not as easy as that. Well, even if I don’t, so I stay a highly-evolved human. I mean, I don’t have to ascend, it’s a choice, right? [John grimaces slightly] No? What do you mean, no? Oh, that stupid Ancient device doesn’t work properly, does it? [He reads Elizabeth’s mind again] It’s set in motion a series of genetic mutations that will result in my death if I don’t ascend?!

Lt. Col. Sheppard

[To Weir] There is something easier about this.

Dr. McKay

That’s why the Ancients didn’t put it into common use, it’s just one more in a long line of abysmal, over-ambitious failures! Oh God. I’m a dead man!

Dr. McKay

Yes, I'm me! I'm my old self!

Dr. Beckett

Are you certain?

Dr. McKay

Ya, I'm alive. I feel--I feel great--I feel--uh...um...hungry...

Lt. Col Sheppard

He's fine.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

He’s giving his people way too much technology for their level of development. [Points at Rodney accusingly] I’m not the only one increasing my army, by the way.

Dr. McKay

I had to do something to protect the people of Geldar from you.

Ronon

Geldar?

Lt. Col. Sheppard

The name of Rodney’s country. He named it after a girl he stalked in college.

Dr. McKay

I did not stalk her. We dated twice. Teresa Geldar -- a very cute blonde. I always used to think her name reminded me of some kind of a mythological land - "The Kingdom of Geldar".

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Oh yeah! That’s something you see in a medieval village!

Dr. McKay

Yes, well, the Renaissance obviously came early to these folks.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

A couple of hundred years early?

Teyla

Why do you refer to him as the Oracle?

The Oracle is a wise and omnipotent deity.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

[to Ronon] Boy, she’s in for a rude awakening.

Teyla

I am sorry, Herick, but we have scanned the surface of your planet. If your world was at war with the Wraith, the war was lost many years ago.

Dr. McKay

More like centuries. I mean, there is nothing down there but ruins and plant life.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Dial up the sensitivity a notch, all right?

Lt. Col. Sheppard

I guarantee you you’re gonna see pretty much the same technology that you’re looking at here, which I call vintage 1967.

Dr. McKay

[sarcastically] Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, we hollowed out a lot of moons back in the sixties.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Well, if we had, this is what they'd look like.

Dr. Beckett

Tell them we'll be there in a jiff.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

You guys hear that?

Dr. McKay

[over radio] Yay, faint hope!

Dr. McKay

All right. I’m gonna take a look around, see if I can figure out a way to seal the compartments between us. I figure it would be nice if we were all together as we burn up.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

McKay . . .

Dr. McKay

I’m sorry. I mean, as we get rescued. I always get those two confused.

Dr. McKay

We don’t have much time left. The moon was already in a low orbit to start with. We’re beginning to skim the outer atmosphere. We’re gonna slow down exponentially.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Think of a brilliant plan, Rodney! That’s what you do best. Using as little oxygen as possible.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

You dating anyone?

Ronon

You mean like a woman?

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Or a man.

Ronon

No.

Dr. Weir

Weapons fire.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Nine mil. This way.

Dr. McKay

Oh yes, let's race towards the gunfire.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Well, you're a hell of a swimmer, I'll give you that.

You have restored power?

Lt. Col. Sheppard

It'll fly.

You shall be rewarded—with a quick death!

Dr. McKay

She's not dying according to plan here!!