I've got a bad feeling about Barb.
I know. I can't believe she used to date Jet! That guy's like a Kirk sundae with Trip Tucker sprinkles.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Brad, when a Starfleet relationship seems too good to be true, then– red alert, man! It probably is.
You think she's cheating on me?!
No! I think she's a secret alien who's gonna eat you, or a Romulan spy, or a salt succubus, or an android, or a Changeling, or one of those sexy people in rompers that murders you just for going on the grass!
MIMixtus II Representative
It's an impossible problem.
Well, we're Starfleet. Figuring out impossible problems is what we do, so let's just keep calm and, uh, try to think of a solution.
MIMixtus II Representative
No! If you blow up that moon, you're murderers! You'll have blood on your hands!
SHUT UP and let me think!
Requesting emergency transport to Platform Gamma! Authorization, uh– Mariner Eight!
TTransport Officer
Request denied. Is that a made-up code? Who is this? Clear this channel!
Wait a second, you can't just transfer us against our will!
RDRon Docent
Pfft. Watch me. Do I need to remind you who my grandma's neighbor was? I guess I do. It was the admiral! And he's a psycho!
BBBarbara Brinson
First, I thought you were a rogue holodeck character, then, because of the way you were lurking around all day, I thought you were a Breen infiltrator.
What? That wasn't lurking, that was protecting!
BBBarbara Brinson
Finally I realized you're probably a parasite!
Bitch, you're the parasite!
BBBarbara Brinson
Exactly what a parasite would say, parasite!
MIMixtus II Representative
The impact on our environment would affect both of us! We'd have to move our whole civilization!
I know, but how can – wait, 'both'? What - what do - what do you mean, 'both'? How many people are in your civilization?
MIMixtus II Representative
Me and my wife.
There are two f---ing people on your whole f---ing planet?!
MIMixtus II Representative
Well, yes. We're uh, we're rich.
… Implode the moon.
LLieutenant
Yes, Captain.
MIMixtus II Representative
You maniacs! We just redid the floors!
ABAndy Bullups
If we fire on them, it's an act of war.
I advise we fire on them!
Do you realize how hard it is to get cheese out of fur in a sonic shower?!
Listen, I've been working on this new holodeck training program. I think it can help you. You want to try it out?
Oh my gosh, yes! Thank you, thank you so much, Rutherford! The holodeck, gah! Why didn't I think of that sooner?
Yeah, you know it's not just for hanging with Sherlock Holmes, and Robin Hood, and Sigmund Freud, and Cyrano de Bergerac, and Einstein, and da Vinci, and Stephen Hawking, and Socrates…
I can't believe I actually made eye contact with one of the Zebulon sisters! Oh God! I forgot how to breathe.
Oh my God, and then when they added the third Chu and they were doing the Chu Chu Chu dance? They're geniuses!
Fun fact, I'm gonna rip your eyes out!
That fact wasn't fun!
Phasers locked onto their warp core, captain. Please, please let me shoot their warp core! I have been very good this month!
Evasive pattern Sulu-Alpha.
OH, COME ON!
DDrookmani Captain
I thought you said this trash wasn't worth fighting for.
We're not fighting.
DDrookmani Captain
Avoiding damage is fighting!
Ugh! We can talk this out.
DDrookmani Captain
*bleep* you!
We are so getting fired for this.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Star Trek: Lower Decks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.