Our revels now are ended.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
SHShaxs Hologram
When you get to hell, tell the Pah-wraiths that Shaxs sent you! Special delivery straight from Bajor!
Oh, when are you going to give up the 'loving captain' act?
CFCarol Freeman Hologram
It's not an act! I'm overflowing with love and affection!
Oh, shut up!
CFCarol Freeman Hologram
You shut up!
Sir, are you okay?
ABAndy Billups Hologram
I'll live, but the crew–
Will be fine. I initiated a rapid repeating emergency transport sequence and beamed the entire crew before we crashed.
ABAndy Billups Hologram
What? But that's not possible!
No, it's a movie. You can beam whatever you want. You can do all sorts of beaming stuff in a movie.
Get off my mom, you bitch!
BMBeckett Mariner
I know all your moves, and everything about you. I know you dressed up as Toby Targ every Halloween, even when you were too old. And I know that you actually love the warp core!
Take that back! The warp core's lame!
TAT'Ana Hologram
Godspeed, you crazy *bleep*s.
I may hate protocol, but I don't hate this ship. (coughing) I don't hate the crew. I work with my best friends. The captain's my mom. I would do anything for her.
BMBeckett Mariner
Oh come on! No, you hate the captain. You complain about her non stop. It's your whole thing.
(coughing) Yeah, I mean she's hard on me, right? She's the captain and I'm a pain in the ass. But if she kicks me off the Cerritos (coughing) I'd be done in Starfleet. She's watching out for me the only way she knows how in her *bleep* overbearing mom way.
BMBeckett Mariner
Oh please! The only person you care about is yourself.
[laughing madly] Okay, then why did I let you kick my ass to buy time for everyone to get off the ship before the self-destruct timer went off?
BMBeckett Mariner
[stunned] Wait, what?! [as the hologram Mariner laughes, the self-destruct detonates, ending the holoprogram]
Um, so do you wanna go maybe sit and look at the warp core with me?
Wow, so lame! Yes, let's do it.
We talking warp core? Ooh baby, I'm in!
Ugh. Landru.
I know, it's always weird revisiting planets from the TOS era.
TOS?
It's what I call the 2260s. Stands for 'those old scientists' – You know, Spock, Scotty, those guys. Seems like they were stumbling on crazy new aliens every week back then.
From now on, I'll make sure to give you special attention.
No! Be as hard on her as you always are!
Yeah, be hard on me!
I'm only hard on you when you make me hard! I mean I'm – I'm not hard right now! I mean I could – I could get hard, if I wanted to, but I'm not hard right now. I'm so sorry! You're both great!
SLSteve Levy
Hey, Mariner! I'm Lieutenant Levy. We went on a date last year. I don't know if you recall.
Yeah, Steve, I remember. You said Wolf 359 was an inside job.
SLSteve Levy
It totally was. So, hey, I was wondering, could you give this to your mom for me? It's just a few ideas I threw together on how to decorate the captain's yacht.
Fine. Whatever.
SLSteve Levy
You're the best. Thanks, Mariner. Changelings aren't real. The Dominion War didn't happen!
You think your mom would be okay with me and Shaxs making a little love connection? I'd love to snag that Bajoran beefsteak with my coital hooks.
So, hey, do you want me to call you 'Exocomp,' or do you have an alphanumeric name, like TT30311?
No, I didn't want to sound robotic, I wanted to be called something normal. So I analyzed all Federation languages and calculated a mathematically perfect name.
What is it?"
Peanut Hamper.
Peanut Hamper? I LOVE IT!
This doesn't make any sense. The Pakleds aren't this powerful.
I thought they were kind of a joke.
Yeah, you guys aren't wrong. Pakleds would fake distress calls so they could steal technology from anyone who showed up to help, but I'm detecting weapons from over thirty different species.
Ah, looks like they're not a joke anymore.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Star Trek: Lower Decks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.